Nicci's Musings - Do You Blow On It?

[by Nicoletta Glazer - Staff Columnist]

I think that every woman's reaction to hearing the term 'Blow Job' for the first time is to ask, "Do you blow on it?"

Alas, if only it were that easy. Blow on it. Like a candle on a birthday cake. But of course, my girlfriends explained to me that I had to French it. I thought that maybe I could get away with a quick peck, like greeting a not-exactly-favorite relative. A fleeting kiss on the cheek.

But no, I would be expected to take that thing into my mouth. And to suck it and to lick it. To basically make love to a guy's tally-wacker. Or maybe not. Maybe I could skip that part of a relationship. Then I realized that a 'Blowjob' was one of the bases. I could not get to home plate - which was sex - without touching third. And I did want to have sex, eventually. I wanted to have children. So, if I wanted to have kids, I had to suck some dicks on the way to those kids.

I came to terms with that fact.

Although to this day, the thought of my mom going down on my dad still freaks me out. For weeks after learning about the inevitability of blowjobs, I would cringe whenever my mother would give me a hello kiss. What had she been doing before I walked in? Had she been upstairs with dad? Could I smell the scent of a penis on her breath?

I would always hope that she had at least brushed her teeth.

From the day that I first learned about blowjobs, I have never looked at a birthday cake the same.

[Nickey today]