New House Rules

You head downstairs to grab some breakfast and see your mom sweeping the floor. She looks up then at the clock on the stove. "You're going to be late," she says, "and what's with Morgan yelling at you?"

"She went streaking this morning," I said, "so I..."

"Streaking? Would you be serious."

"Ask her," I said. I grabbed a banana from the counter and a 12 ounce bottle of orange juice from the fridge. I watched mom start sweeping again. I put the food down and pulled out the watch. "Hey mom,"

She turned and saw the watch and went into a trance.

"Mom, you know Morgan is a spoiled brat and needs to be taught a lesson. You will assign her the most menial chores. It is now her job to clean the toilets, take out the trash, do the dishes, scrub the bathtubs and clean the bathroom and kitchen floors by hand. If she refuses or does a bad job, you will ground her and cut off her allowance. Understand?"

Your mom nods.

"You know you trust me more than you do Morgan and know I am far more responsible and trustworthy. Now, any time I say 'deep sleep,' you will go back into this trance. Awake!"

Mom blinked a few times. "That Morgan is such a brat," he mused, "who knows what she did."

Morgan and I went to the same high school even though she was older. She was born in November the year before me, so she missed the cut off for starting kindergarten and we entered school together as I was born in July. She drove us to school. "Mom," I said, "I think I should be the one to drive the car to school. I'm not as careless as Morgan."

"Good idea, son," she said, "besides, you two should have left already, and she's not even down here yet!"

As if on cue, Morgan entered the kitchen. She had on a floral print skirt that came to just above her knees and a pink v-neck t-shirt. Her hair was teased out really really big and looked stiffly held in place with hair spray. He had on lots of eyeshadow and blush but red lipstick.

"I think you'd look better in purple or blue lipstick," I said.

"Yeah, but I don't have any. Going to go get some after school," she went to the cabinet and grabbed a Pop Tart.

"Oh, no you're not, young lady," said Mom. "Firs of all, your brother is driving from now on, and...."

"Are you serious?!" said Morgan.

"Don't interrupt me!" said Mom. "He is more trustworthy, and what's this about you streaking?"

Morgan looked at the floor and blushed.

"It's true?! asked Mom.

Morgan said nothing.

"You come straight home after school," said Mom. "I have some chores for you to do!"

Morgan handed me the keys. We grabbed our backpacks and went to the car.

"Can't fucking believe this," she muttered as I pulled out of the driveway.

"Your hair's a little flat, dontcha think?" I asked.

"Really?" she asked. She pulled down the visor and looked in the mirror on the back. She pulled out a rat tail comb from her pure and tried to tease her hair up even more though she already looked ridiculous.

I just smiled and headed on to school.