Nerds - "Feelin' Good About My Chances"

"If you don't get laid by six a.m., I will fuck you."

Matt was a virgin. He was a fat virgin. He was a fat virgin with poor social skills and strong science skills. He'd been waiting to hear the words "I will fuck you" all his life, and they never sounded so sweet in his dreams as they did now. Sitting in a chair behind Julie Murrow's computer, he picked his jaw up the floor and faced the girl.

"Ummm... Okay."

Julie smiled. "You're one of my best friends. I'm not sending you off to university a virgin. But... Try to get laid, okay? 'Cuz I don't want to make things awkward between us in all the phone calls we're bound to have in fall."

He nodded, not hearing a word she said and thinking about her glorious, glorious tits.

Kyle and Tara, laying on Julie's bed and barely listening to the conversation across the room, groped each other like there was no tommorow. Maybe there wasn't. They'd only recently realized their feeling's for each other and wanted to make every moment together count.

"We should... Find a place to... You know..." said Kyle with a smile.

"Don't say 'you know'. Just say fuck. We can find a place to fuck," said Tara.

"We can find a place to 'make love'," he said, giving a strong moist kiss against her neck.

"Fair enough."

He paused. "Did Julie just say she was going to fuck Matt?"

Both Tara and Kyle sat up in the bed and looked across the room. Julie turned to them and shouted: "I'm a woman of my word."

"Hey Matt. How's it feel?" laughed Kyle hartily, at the thoughts of his two friends together.

"Feelin' good about my chances!" shouted Matt triumphantly, still in a daze.

Julie smiled. "Try, at least, to get another girl. And you two--" she said to Kyle and Tara. "You aren't fucking in my room. Find another place. As for me, I'm going to go try to find my brother Jake before he trashes the house that Microsoft stock built."