Much later, somewhere else...

You wake up in different surroundings, and the last thing you remember is Janice walking in on you and Mary. Your eyes get adjusted to the whiteness, and you realise you're in a hospital room. The doctor walks over to you.

"Well, look who's up!" He s aid. "We were worried you might never awaken, 'cause you were in that coma for three months!"

Three months? Man, Mary's mom must've been pretty angry.

"You'll be happy with the news," he continues, "we patched up your open wounds, reset the thirtee n broken bones and fractures you had, and the testicle reconstruction surgery went very well, although we never did manage to find that second one..."

Ok, so she was really, REALLY angry.

Before he can finish, you pass out, having learned the important lesson this experience gave you: Lock the freaking door next time.