Mrs. Templeton (36, Uptight Preacher's Wife)

Henrietta Templeton was not a pleasant woman to be around, even for those who were religiously inclined. The daughter of a preacher and later on the wife of one she seemed to be the very personification of "Holier than thou". Her attitude towards her faith, especially when it came to other people not following her beliefs, was enough to make a fundamentalist take a step back and and say "Whoa, that might be going a bit too far..." and possibly rethink their life.

Since today was Tuesday she was sitting in a McDonald's sipping the dregs of her black coffee and scowling at everything. It was the last place that served coffee that she hadn't been thrown out of for berating other customers and most of the staff for various infractions of God's holy writ, listing a panoply of reasons why everyone around her was going to hell.

Everyone around her agreed that if she wasn't just some crazy lady then she was going to be very lonely in heaven.

Today was a particularly bad day. The girl behind the register was wearing clothes that were far too tight showing off the shape of her sinful body. The couple in the booth across the room had been making out for the last five minutes right out in the open where God and everyone could see their shameful lust. The two girls in line were obviously a couple of those homosexuals with the way they stood and had their hands all over each other in the most disgusting way (They only had their arms around each other's waist, but they might as well be placing their mouths on each other's privates in Mrs. Templeton's view).

And now, as if things couldn't get any worse, a group of five girls wearing bikinis had just walked in, putting their sinful bodies on display in the most perverted and lust-inducing way! How could the Heavenly Father allow this to exist in his kingdom?!

Henrietta literally bit her tongue as she stood and made her way to the exit. If she got thrown out of here she would be reduced to having to drink coffee at home while watching reruns of "The 700 Club", a bunch of wishy-washy pansies in her opinion, or the church basement that always seemed to mysteriously empty when she showed up. This didn't stop her from giving everyone she passed a good long glare as she made her way to the door.

"Lord my God," She muttered under her breath as she crossed the parking lot to her car, "Help me to purge the unrighteous from this Earth!" She shook her head as she passed the girl with the skateboard who reeked of marijuana cigarettes and had been sitting on the patio table staring at traffic since she got there. "Or at least to teach them a lesson about their sinful ways!"

It was then she saw it.

On the roof of her car was what appeared to be a simple wooden stick. A little longer than one of those wands from the blasphemous "Harry Potter" movies (Which she had led a boycott crusade against back in the early 2000s) it was what appeared to be polished wood and had been left just above the drivers-side door where she couldn't help but notice it.

Henrietta looked around her for anyone who might have left it there, probably by an impudent child as a prank, but the only person she could see was the stoned girl.

"Did you put this on my car?!" She demanded, pointing at the offending stick.

"What?" The girl blinked and slowly focused on Henrietta.

"This!" She shook her finger at the stick. "Is this some kind of joke or supposed to mean something perverted?"

"Um.. It's a stick." The girl said as she stared at it glassily. "My mom used to whallop me with something like that when I was bad."

"Oh, so it's some kind of threat, then?" Henrietta put her fists on her hips and glared at this unwashed urchin.

"No, it's a stick." Shrugged the girl.

"Why is it on my car?!" Mrs. Templeton almost screamed.

"I don't fucking know, I didn't put it there." She pulled up her hood and turned her head away so that Henrietta could no longer see her face. "Please go away and leave me alone." Henrietta stared at the sheer audacity of the girl for speaking this way to her betters. She shook her head and sighed angrily.

"Your mother obviously didn't hit you hard enough." She muttered between clenched teeth as she reached to throw the stick into the bushes.

As her hand closed around it, though, Henrietta gasped. She could feel the power of the thing flow into her hand, up her arm, and into her body. It was a raw, primordial energy that seemed as old as time itself, maybe older. In one moment the stick seemed larger than the universe itself and smaller than tiniest subatomic particle. It had more power than could conceivably be contained in all of space and time and now it was at her command.

And then it was over.

Henrietta staggered backwards a couple of steps catching her breath as she stared at the unassuming wooden rod in her hand. Surely this was the work of the Devil! She thought. But she remembered that just moments ago she had asked God for the chance to teach the unrighteous the folly of their sinful ways. Was this God answering her prayer?

It must be! She decided as she felt the power in the object coursing through her. A malevolent grin spread across her face as she contemplated the possibilities.

"Woe to those who forsake the Lord, for they shall feel his wrath." She muttered.

She wondered where she should start. Should she tell her husband about it? Or maybe she should go back into the McDonald's and punish those were brazenly sinning. Or, and this idea filled her with a giddy excitement, she could go down to that new strip club and teach them the error of their ways. Petitions and protests hadn't stopped it from opening, but maybe some holy wrath might change their minds.

Where does Mrs. Templeton start?