Movie night

You dim the lights and cue up the movie, a rom-com about a man with a famously small package. As the opening credits roll, you settle onto the couch next to Jake, your legs brushing against his.

Jake shifts uncomfortably, his eyes glued to the screen. 'Uh, what made you pick this movie?' he asks, trying to sound casual.

You shrug, a mischievous glint in your eye. 'Oh, I just heard it was really funny. And I mean, the main character is supposed to be pretty relatable, right?'

Jake swallows hard, his face turning a shade paler. 'Relatable? I don't know about that...'

You let out a light, tinkling laugh. 'Oh, come on, Jake. Every guy's wondered if they measure up at some point, haven't they?'

Jake opens his mouth to respond, but no words come out. He snaps his jaw shut, his eyes darting back to the screen.

You press play, a satisfied smirk on your face. As the movie progresses, Jake squirms in his seat, his discomfort growing with every joke at the main character's expense. By the time the credits roll, he looks positively ill.

'So,' you say, turning to face him. 'What did you think?'

Jake rubs the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze. 'It was, uh, okay, I guess. Not really my kind of humor.'

You raise an eyebrow. 'Really? I thought it was hilarious. But then again, I'm not the one with the tiny dick.'

Jake flinches as if you've slapped him, his eyes widening in shock. 'I don't have a tiny dick!' he protests, his voice cracking.

You tilt your head, a skeptical look on your face. 'Are you sure about that, Jake? I mean, you've been awfully defensive tonight...'

Jake sputters, his face turning beet red. 'I'm not being defensive! I just don't think it's funny to make fun of guys for their, uh, size.'

You shrug, a smug smile playing on your lips. 'If you say so, Jake. If you say so.',