Missing time

Fifteen feet away from where I sat in agony, waiting, theoretically, for the bus, there was a man watching me. Unlike most of the men who stare in bus stations, he wasn’t bedraggled. He was so thin that you could see the shape of his skull under his skin. His suit was nice; savant that I am, I was thinking it was real wool, and he had a long gray coat on over top. Bald, naturally, like John Malkovich. Because I needed something to distract me from the horrible feeling in my head, I started counting the seconds until he came over and said something to me.

The time that I was missing from that sublime second with Rania gratifying me didn’t include me getting my coat. Luckily I hadn’t lost my dress, too, because it was one of my favorites. The heels I’d worn to Le Mythe were sitting in a row next to my feet. I could feel the aches they left me with in my tender footpads. Was Mr. Suit and Tie a foot guy, was that it? He was still staring. I looked up and fixed him with my most withering glare. Today, that was a very powerful one. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t smile, either. It was like he was looking past me. Out of an abundance of caution I looked beside and behind me. There was no monster waiting to gobble me up. He had to be looking at me.

I bided my time. The bus had to arrive soon. I recognized the station, and thanks to that, I knew what route I would need to get home. It always got shaky as the cold started in, but this seemed like a little much. After counting off another two minutes in my head I couldn’t keep my mouth shut any longer. “Do you have a problem?” I snapped at him.

His face still didn’t change. What, like I’m not intimidating? The more disquieting thing was that he still didn’t flinch, either. “I didn’t think you were real,” he said. Sounding haunted. Well, he wasn’t alone--I shivered too.

“What are you talking about?” I asked. The fight had gone out of me. I wanted to scream. What the fuck are you talking about? Who are you? Stop looking at me like that! But I played nice. I didn’t have the energy for an argument, and even though he looked like he weighed a hundred pounds under all those clothes, I had the sickening feeling that I would lose if things got physical.

He must not have agreed, because he turned tail and stalked out of the station. That should’ve been the end of it. It was what I wanted, so far as I could tell. But the way he’d said that, like I would if I saw Mickey Mouse at the beach, chilled me. And where was he going now? I wobbled up onto my feet, jammed them into my heels. The first step was shaky. I sagged, shutting my eyes. There was a flash of Rania’s face as her teeth dug into the soft flesh of my thigh. Not now, I thought, or, Now, please, take me back there. Where was he going?