Miss Adventure

You finally land at the headquarters... you'd been looking for it for an hour already. You survey the scene... a couple dozen wannabe superheroes stand in a line waiting their chance at glory, like American Idol contestants in ridiculous outfits. You brush your blonde hair out of your face and put your hands on your hips, assuming the traditional superhero stance. Everyone turns and stares, and it can't be just because of your good looks--long legs, athletic frame, big breasts, pretty face packed in a skimpy white costume--but because they know they are in the presence of greatness.

Immediately someone rushes over. "Hi, ah, I'm the Crimson Clipper," says a thin man in a red suit as he looks you over.

"I'm Miss Adventure, heard of me?" you declare.

"Yeah... come along, we're waiting for you," he says and leads you past the assembled aspirants. Your skirt blows up in the wind, revealing a white thong beneath. There's an appreciative gasp from the crowd. You turn and shoot a dirty look at the hispanic guy in line who has a tornado symbol on his chest. He smiles sheepishly. Busted.

Crimson Clipper escorts you into the foyer of the building, where the Justice Legion sits around a table and looks bored. They perk up immediately when you arrive.

"Ha, uh, Miss Adventure, I presume?" says the green monster at the center of the table. "I am the Martian Millionaire, and I'm sort of the leader of the Legion."

"For now..." you sneer.

"Ha, uh, quite," he manages. The team looks on sourly, but no one objects. The alien leader continues, "We are pleased that you came. This whole charade was to entice you to pay us a visit."

You smile enigmatically.

"Why don't you tell us a little about yourself?" suggests Hyperion from the end of the table. "For example, do you have..."

"All of Captain Adventure's powers? I think so, but none of us probably know how powerful he really was," you say. "I will tell you a couple of weeks ago I was 20-year old Cindy Neal, a small town girl and aspiring actress, down to her last dollar and looking at a choice between working strip clubs or porno shoots. Like everyone else I was devastated when I heard Captain Adventure had apparently died fighting Nuklo the Nazi robot dinosaur from Dimension X. But I got over it when I realized I had his powers..."

"Though not his morals..." Hyperion grumbled under his breath.

"I heard that," you say. "I hear everything, remember? While Red Lobster here showed me in, I could hear you all talking about how I'm some stupid bimbo with stolen powers, but maybe you should let me join to control me and find some way to change me into something I'm not."

They stare at you in stunned silence.