Milky Mommy

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“It’s hard to say no to big milky titties.” I said eventually.

Matrowyn hummed with pleasure. “You’re so kind to the newcomers.” She giggles and then proceeds to consume her portion of Elizabeth’s soul.

Once she was done I was back in the forest, with nothing but the warm pleasure of knowing Elizabeth was going to wake up to a drastic surprise to keep me company.

As much fun as pranking my nemesis and feeding her soul to a demon prince was, I still had other plans to attend too. I was still set on corrupting the world, and I couldn’t quite do that without supplies.

I hadn’t been spending the last month just collecting goblins and licking my wounds. I was formulating a plan as well. A scheme, if you will. From my vantage point within the forest I kept an eye on the road, and made note of anything interesting heading into Crossroads.

It came to my attention that once a week a carriage loaded down with gold made it’s way from the southern bank to the central bank in the capital. Every week it took the same route right by my forest, and through Crossroads. It took me a while to figure out what the unmarked carriage was, but I knew it had to be something valuable, four armored guards rode with the carriage, not your typical detail for a grain shipment. From there it was just a matter of asking around town. I kept my head low so Elizabeth didn’t see it, and remove it from my shoulders.

So that was the plan. I had my small army of 16 goblins goblins cut down a tree at the most awkward turn in the journey. A place where the guards wouldn’t see it, until they were right on top of it. Then I had them hide in the bushes and tall grass and wait for the treasure to arrive.

Goblins are stupid, and impatient little creatures, but there’s something about the cruelty and **** promised with an ambush that makes them suitable ambushers. The idiotic gang of thugs which usually couldn’t wait for water to boil, was suddenly silent as a field of mice, waiting for the horses to arrive.

From my vantage point in a tree, I could see their long ears pop out of the grass at the sound of approaching treasure. They heard it long before I did, but sure enough that same unmarked carriage came careening around the bend, and was only just able to stop from the felled tree. The horses roared and dug their hoofs into the dirt to keep themselves from breaking their legs.

“Charge!” I yelled from my vantage point, entering the point of no return.

Soldiers of The Kingdom were famed for their use of a special kind of crossbow. It was a high powered weapon that could pierce through the hides of many of the world’s toughest monsters. They could be fired three times a minute, and the troops who used them were trained to be incredibly accurate. Tales of The Kingdom’s conquest are filled with well drilled armies unleashing torrents of well timed bolts into enemy resistance. And they’re still very useful weapons, especially in the east where caravans like this one must still contest with giant scorpions, and rocs the size of a house.

From my scouting I knew this would be the weapon I was up against for the raid. And as my first goblins charged towards the road, I saw them get absolutely splattered by The Kingdom’s proudest weapon.

But you see, it was all for naught. Because these were goblins. They could have been felled just as easily by a well thrown rock, as with the supreme power off the crossbow. All that extra power, damage and time it took to fire the weapon was wasted on these cretins. By the time my tiny horde had reached the wagon, six had died. It’s a credit to the soldiers that every bolt fired hit it’s target. There was just too many of them, and not enough time.

Once my goblins reached their target it was over. There were four guards, and one unarmoed driver. Which left two goblins per opponent. The driver was taken out almost instantly, and from there the rolling tide of goblins became too much for the soldiers who tried to bash my troops to **** with the butt of their weapons.

When all was said and done eight goblins survived, and were hauling a chest off of the wagon and into the forest. Eight goblins for a chest of gold was a trade I would have made any day. My opposition with Elizabeth had been fun, but this felt like I was truly doing something for the cause.

Please refrain from being too impressed with me. If the Kingdom wanted to protect this gold from a herd of goblins they could have. With the same number of men too. They simply had no reason to think their guards would go up against anything but a small number of **** bandits in the most tamed lands on earth. In the end complacency and surprise won the battle, I was just the one who recruited them.

My minions chewed and bashed at the lock with a rock, but made no progress. It wasn’t until I came along with a vial of acid that we able to undo the latch and open the baby up.

If you ever get the chance to open a chest full of gold, do it. It’s a wonderful feeling. Just to see those many round treasures piled up in a box for your admiration. The goblins drooled and instantly reached in for handfuls of the stuff. I let them, because they’d done a good job, and they had tiny hands. They didn’t have any intention on spending any of the gold, but it was good to keep morale up.

They still left me with plenty of money to begin my conquest.