Milkshake Therapy

“It’s really coming down, isn’t it?”

I said nothing my eyes not leaving her as she looked out the window. In front of her were two empty milkshakes. Both of them had been hers. I could see from her noise that she was still shaken up by what happened at school, but she was calmer now.

“Think they will cancel school?”

“We should skip tomorrow regardless.”

“Oh my. What mischief are you planning?”

My fingers drummed against the table. My thoughts were elsewhere. I couldn’t get away from what I had seen when I walked into that office. The look on her face. What I saw in her noise. If I hadn’t entered when I did, she would have gone through with it. She wanted him. It wasn’t her Gift either. I had seen it. Her Gift was activating like normal, but her noise was in a far better place than when I had first seen her with Adam on the rooftop. Even when we had sex and let her Gift activate as normal, it didn’t fully take her. Her Gift was never supposed to be such a dominating factor. With her mental health in a better place, it weaved itself with her noise instead of overwhelming it. Yes, it still boosted her mood but it didn’t do it by suppressing all others. It elevated her positive emotions and made her happier.

It was because I had experience seeing her Gift while we were together that I was unsure of what I had seen when she was with Mr. Palmer. If it wasn’t her Gift, perhaps she had actually wanted to have sex with him and I interrupted them. That didn’t make sense either, because I knew the relief she felt when I stopped them. The anger at Mr. Palmer and the gratefulness she felt towards me.

“Jake?” My eyes focused on her. She was nervously spinning one of the empty milkshake glasses in place. “You’ve barely said anything since we left school.”

“How are you not angry?”

“I am angry.” There was anger there, but it was nothing like I expected it to be. “The bastard threatened me and I just… went along with it.” Her eyes fell away and her voice softened. “If you hadn’t stopped me…”

I remembered the fear in Mr. Palmer’s noise when I threatened him. I remembered the fear in Chloe. She was convinced I would do it. Maybe she was right.

She brushed at her hair. “I don’t want to make this a big thing. You stopped him, and the look on his face makes me think he won’t try that again.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

Her expression hardened. “It wouldn’t have been the first time I’d slept with him.” Her eyes went to the empty glass as she continued to slowly rotate it in her hands. Her voice lowered so only I could hear—not that there was anyone to listen in. The only other people were the staff. The lunch rush had been ending when we arrived. “Adam was right. I am a whore. If I had to choose between being a good girlfriend and being a whore—”

“What does Adam have to do with this?”

Guilt rose in her noise. “I had a run-in with him a bit ago.”

“What?” My fingers stopped drumming on the table.

She waved her hands in front of her. “Nothing more than him stopping by to bullshit. He just said some stuff that I brushed off at the time. Now though? I’m not so sure.”

“You’re not.”

“Aren’t I? You saw it yourself. I know you saw it in my noise. I’m not a girl who can say no.” More guilt and shame built up. “You know what’s fucked up? A small part—really small—regrets you stopped us.” She met my gaze, propping her head up on her fist. “What does that say about me?”

“First off, you shouldn’t be listening to anything Adam says. His only purpose is to cause misery and inflict pain on others. Two, you are an amazing girlfriend.”

She smiled, but there wasn’t anything behind it. “I wish that was true.”

“It is.” I reached over to grab her hand. “I am here for you, just as you are here for me. We are in this together.”

Chloe was feeling better, but her smile was weaker than it normally was. She did her best to lighten the mood by talking about other things. Weather mostly. I think we were both exhausted, so I offered to take her home.

She didn’t say anything when it became clear I wasn’t heading to her apartment. She had retreated into her thoughts, staring out the window as I drove. I did my best to give her privacy, but her noise was a constant whenever she was around me. There was nothing concerning there and I took comfort in the fact that Chloe was still Chloe. A little melancholy and some spikes of anger, but overall doing far better considering the situation.

Back in my apartment, she said nothing walking past everything straight to my room. I quietly followed her, concerned by what I saw in her noise. Entering my room, I found her standing by the foot of the bed with her back to me. Standing sentinel by the door, I waited for her.

Her head turned, looking at me over her shoulder. “Do you want to fuck me?”

The bluntness of her statement was unexpected. I didn’t answer right away. She was acting strange. None of the usual things I expected to see were there. She wasn’t excited or experiencing lust or desire. Compared to how she normally was when sex was brought up, she was empty.

I didn’t like it.

“No.” She turned to face me. “Not when you are like this.”

“Like what?” she asked. She casually sat on the bed, crossing her legs.

I studied her noise. Not just her noise. I studied her as well. I had no idea what was wrong, only that something about her was off. It was nothing rational or concrete, but a gut feeling.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

I took a step towards the bed. “You’ve been off all day.”

She sighed. “I’m just tired.”

“It’s more than that.”

She was silent as she looked up at me. After several long seconds, she sighed and broke eye contact. “I’ve just been thinking about things.” She waited as I took a seat on the bed beside her.

“Like?”

“Like maybe I was always meant to be a whore.”

“You’re not—”

“Hear me out on this. My body was born to be fucked. I’m attractive and my Gift makes it so even the slightest touch gets me going. Mr. Palmer is over twice my age and I was ready and willing to let him have me with a single touch. I like being touched. Even when I know I shouldn’t.” She hung her head. Negative emotions built in her noise. “It’s like I can’t say no to people. I know I should. I want to say no yet I do the opposite and encourage it.”

My hand found hers. She squeezed it before looking up at me. Melancholy noise rained over me as she looked for something from me. Anything. She looked away in disappointment before feeling guilt and anger at her reaction. Once more I wished I could empathize with her. My greatest failure in this relationship was staring me in the face. I was an emotionally distant partner. I tried my best to be here for her, to understand what she was going through, but there would always be this distance. An unbridgeable gap where we stood on opposing sides.

Reaching over, I ran my hand over her cheek. She leaned into it, closing her eyes as I stroked her face with my thumb. “Then I will say no for you.” Her eyes opened and found mine. “If anyone tries to take advantage of you, I will be there to stop them. Them, not you. If you truly believe what you are telling me, I won’t stop you.” I let that sink in, waiting for the understanding to be there in her noise before I continued. “I don’t care who you were in the past or who you think you are, I need to know who you want to be. Chloe, the girlfriend who enjoys sharing her Gift with others, or Chloe, the girlfriend who enjoys sex a bit too much and wears out her poor boyfriend in bed.”

She pulled away from my hand. “You make, ‘enjoys sleeping around’ sound so benign.” There was hesitation as a mild fear ran through her. Concern and worry built, along with jealousy and uncertainty. She fidgeted in place, looking down at her lap. “If you are okay with your girlfriend sleeping around, why did you and Alexis…?”

“She never wanted a boyfriend, at least in the traditional sense. She wants a partner to share; a partner to be shared with. I love her, but I can’t give her what she wants. I can’t be that man. A part of me wishes I could, but I am who I am.” I paused, seeing my words settle her noise. “You are different. In the time we have known each other, I have always seen your desire to connect. I know we have our difficulties and that I can’t be there emotionally for you, but the understanding is there. You understand me. I know you do. I feel it in your noise whenever we are together. And I understand you. Perhaps we can never fully communicate that understanding, but it is there. It is growing and evolving.

So I understand if you decide to continue sharing your Gift with others. I won’t think any less of you because I know it is the physicality of the experience, not the connection that drives you. No matter who you are with at the time, I will always be your boyfriend. That connection we have will never be shared with another.” I leaned closer. “I see it in your noise, Chloe. When we are together, it looks nothing like what you experience with other men. Even when our intimacy is purely for physical purposes, your noise is still different. Whole. That is what makes you different than Alexis. Different than any other woman on the planet. So long as that never goes away, I will always love you.”

She was silent for a long time, her noise a flurry of emotions as unknown thoughts flowed through her. Taking a deep breath, she turned and I could see it in her noise. Before she could speak, I held a finger to her lips. “You don’t need to answer me now. Sleep on it. Think once more when you are rested.”

Before she could argue, I was already peeling off her uniform jacket. Her shoes were next. Skirt and blouse followed last. Every time she tried to speak, I silenced her with a look. By the time I got her into bed, annoyance buzzed in her noise. She looked like a petulant child put to bed before they were ready. Stripping myself, I didn’t bother hanging anything up. I cuddled up against her, pulling her close to me. Closing my eyes, I let her noise wash over me. Even with her annoyance directed at me, I didn’t care.

“I don’t need to wait until tomorrow.” My eyes opened as she shuffled in bed so she was facing me. I didn’t need to see her noise. The determination in her eyes was enough to recognize the weight of her decision. “No matter how much my body or Gift tells me otherwise, I know what I want. I want you. Only you.”

I kissed her. It was a long but gentle kiss. One that lingered long after we separated. Staring at her, I watched as she smiled that cute smile of hers. Watched as her noise danced happily around us, smothering me in a presence I could never escape from. “Then that is what you shall get.”

And for the briefest of moments, I felt something there inside me. A flicker that was more a lingering illusion than feeling.

I felt happiness.

“Rest up,” I said before kissing her forehead. “Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.”

“Hmm?”

“Because snow day or not, I’m going to have you All. Day. Long.”