Melanie -- riddles and a surprise kiss

You say, "I pick...ummmm...why, Melanie, you wanted to start,
let's have you give it a go!"

"Super!" she says. She bites her lip, frowns, and looks slightly
cross-eyed behind her glasses. "All right, Mr Doe, brring
brring!" She tilts her chin up to your husband's ear and whispers.

The message passes quickly around the circle to Anita, Dan, Melissa,
and Mark. Mark whispers in your ear. You raise an eyebrow, then
whisper it to Martin. "When you buy blooms or candies for her
that has good panties."

Martin whispers to Marcia, who whispers to Gordon, who returns the
call to Melanie.

"Eeek!" Melanie squeals. "Well, here's what you did to my nice
little nonsense. It's something my sister told me once, actually.

"Now, I said, 'When you're buying rubber candles, make sure they've
got good handles.'

"Telephone said, 'Where you buy blooms or candies for her that has
no panties!'

Someone's been deliberately naughty, I think. Though, the thing
of it is, my sister works in the City at a place that sells
flowers and candy."

Melissa says, "How interesting, Melanie. Would you like to pick
the next telephone person?"

"All right! But first I've got a riddle. Sadé doesn't have
one. Zaphod Beeblebrox has a long one. Tony Blair's is
shorter than average. Prince Charles only uses his on
official occasions. Spanish noblemen have double what
other men have. What is it?"

You see Gordon look to the heavens in disbelief, biting his lip.

"How about Indians?" Anita asks.

"Gandhi had a decent-sized one, but oh, that Chandrasekhar!"
Melanie crows.

Anita blinks and makes a cute little frowny face. You stifle a laugh.

Dan gives Melanie a strange look. "It wouldn't be..." he starts
to say.

"Africans?" Martin says.

"Shaka Zulu, just not all you'd expect from his big reputation,"
Melanie burbles. "But they say Winnie Mandela has one as big as
her husband!"

Gordon covers his face with his hands.

"Is this a riddle, or Twenty Questions?" asks your husband.

"It's whatever you like, handsome!" says Melanie. "All right,
anybody," she continues. "If you're lost, I'll give you a clue
for a kiss!"

"Really?" says Anita. "How mercenary you business people are."

"Really truly a clue," Melanie says. "Even for you if you want."

The telephone circle dissolves into a milling clot. Dan and
Marcia find each other again, and rejoin with a hug and kiss.
Mark returns to Anita's elbow. Martin circles, looking for
someplace to alight. Your husband puts some of your favorite biscuits onto a plate, but before he can bring them to you,
Marcia and Dan engage him in conversation.

Gordon goes to the sideboard and refills his drink. Ever
the host, he looks about for any other takers. You catch his
eye and point to the bottle of lemon squash. He fills a glass
for you, winks, and drops in a little splash of vodka. You put
your hands dramatically on forehead and hip, tilt your head back,
and mime "Oh you're shameless" at him. He delivers your drink
with a deep bow, a raised eyebrow, and a smile.

Melissa sidles up to Melanie. "I'd love a clue, dear," she says.
Surprised, Melanie's lips part, but she doesn't say anything.
Melissa takes the young woman by the shoulder and hip of her racy
red dress and bends her back in a dip. Melanie looks up
disbelievingly into Melissa's eyes. Melissa says, "I love girls
with glasses," then pounces on her lips.

Melanie quivers, and her eyes open wide. "Mmmmf!" she squeaks.
Overpowered and overbalanced, she clutches Melissa for dear
life, squashing their bosoms together.

"Don't worry, Melanie," Gordon says, saluting her with his
drink. "She's very good at that. Won't let you drop."

"Mmf," she moans, trying to comprehend that her female boss has
seized her in a precarious and passionate clinch.

"Not to worry, Mellie," Gordon says. "You don't even have to
give her the clue. I know the answer."

"Mmmmmmmmm," Melanie hums. "Mmmmmm...." Melissa raises her head
and lifts Melanie from her dip. "Ah!" Melanie looks into
Melissa's eyes dizzily. Her spectacles are askew. Her deep
breaths squeeze her breasts against Melissa's impressive pair.
"Ah. You're quite a kisser, b.. Melissa. Could you let me go?
I need some air, please!"

Melissa holds on tight. "Gordon dear," she says. "Would you
fetch us the ginger mints?" He holds out the little tin. She
takes two, and pops one into her mouth. "Open wide, sweetness!"
Melanie looks blank. Melissa says slowly and distinctly to
her, "Please open your mouth, Melanie. You have taken in quite
an unusual mixture of liquors, gooseberry biscuits, and garlic
crisps, and I believe your hopes for later tonight will be
improved by a ginger mint." Melanie opens her mouth. Melissa
pops in the mint and straightens Melanie's glasses. "Now what
was that hint, dear?"

"Never mind," says Gordon. "The answer is, 'A last name.'"

Marcia and Dan groan in unison. Martin grins. Anita looks a
bit confused. Your husband strikes his hand to his forehead.
Mark's mouth drops open.

Melissa gently deposits Melanie on the sofa and smiles
comfortingly at her. You think Melissa's benign expression is,
well, complicated a bit by the bright red smears of Melanie's lipstick about her mouth.

Gordon continues, "If you look in the bookstand by the water
closet, you'll find that the estimable Mr. Cohen's 'The Penis Book'
has a less dramatic version of Melanie's little riddle."

Melanie stands, finally free. "Um..." she says, "Excuse me,
need to spend a penny." She walks quickly toward the hall
with the nearest WC.

Gordon offers his handkerchief to Melissa, and she quickly
repairs her carmined face.

"Perhaps this is a good time for a break in the games," Melissa
says. She sits down and pretends to fan herself. "Quite
athletic, these word games."

Martin laughs deeply. "Not half," he says. "I was trained
in sports massage, if you need some loosening up."

Gordon says to Melissa, "Let me build up a fire. Always strikes
the right mood."

"Less benzine this time, dear," says Melissa. "Why don't you
build up a fire, and Martin can rub my feet?"

"A fire sounds lovely!" says Anita. "Just the thing." She jumps
into an armchair. "Would you rub my shoulders, Mark?" He leaps
into place awkwardly, but his hands are slow and confident.
Anita says, "Ah, this is my kind of party!"

Your husband beckons you over to where he's talking with Marcia
and Dan. "Biscuit, dear?" he says, offering you a ginger crystal
biscuit. "Marcia and Dan were telling me about the house.
It's quite a palace, with some very interesting rooms. Naughty
art. Cozy little hide-aways. Practically secret passages from
the old servants' quarters."

He rubs his hand across your shoulders and you feel a warm tingle
spread across your back. Magic. He always has that magic touch
on you. "Have the legs for a little tour, darling?"

"Oh damn!" you hear Melanie's muffled wail from the WC, "My zip's
stuck!"