Meeting the Photographer

Lexa approached the front desk of studio building timidly. The whole place seemed more like a generic office building than an office studio, with people in suits walking about pompously and three receptionists juggling calls and constantly writing notes at their large desk.

"Hi, I've been summoned for - for -" Lexa couldn't bring herself to say it."

"Topless duty, dear?" The receptionist finished for her.

Lexa nodded. She gave her name and showed her driving licence while the receptionist just smiled, obviously trying to be friendly.

"Don't worry if you're nervous. We have a great photographer in today, you'll love her."

Lexa tried to mumble some kind of reply, but barely anything came out.

"Okay, love, if you could just put this on and head down that corridor. Follow the signs to studio 1-B and somebody there will get you started." They handed her a red lanyard with her with her name above the word "Model" in bold print.

Feeling a bit dizzy and resisting the urge to wrap her arms in front of her chest, Lexa followed the signs to the studio.

The studio itself was a large white room, one end looked like a comfortable sitting area with sofa's and a coffee table, the other end looked like a photographer's set with a camera, white back drop, large lights and several complicated looking pieces of equipment Lexa didn't know the name or purpose of. As soon as she stepped in she was greeted by a young man in a green lanyard, he couldn't have been more than five years older than Lexa herself.

"Hi, are you Alexa Smith, the new model?"

"Um. Yes."

"I'm Tom, I'm Andrea's assistant. If you could just take a seat over there, I'll tell her you've arrived."

Lexa didn't like constantly being pointed and directed elsewhere like this, but if the alternative was being photographed topless right there and then, she guessed she could live with it. She sat on the sofa indicated by Tom and watched as various people in black clothing and headsets wondered around the camera set at the other end of the room. So far no one even seemed notice her, which suited her just fine.

Eventually, Tom came back with a heavily tattooed woman. holding a clipboard.

"Hi! I'm Andrea but just call me Andi, what shall I call you?"

"Um... I go by Lexa."

"Lovely to meet you, Lexa. Now you're here to answer a summons for topless duty."

Lexa nodded and muttered out a feeble, "Yes."

"You seem a bit nervous, but don't worry, we're here to help you every step of the way. Now, I have to put a lot of consideration into every shoot to get the best result, so I would like to see what I'm working with. Please remove your top and bra so I can get a good look at you."

"What!"

"Tom, why don't you and the guys take a break. Come back in fifteen."

Understanding her meaning, Tom stood up, went straight to the crew working on the set behind him and they all immediately left the room out a back door, laughing jovially to each other.

"Now it's just us girls." Andrea said, looking intently into Lexa's eyes, "I do pride myself on my work, but it requires me knowing as much about who you are and how you feel about your body and how you want to feel about it."

Lexa said nothing, feeling suddenly very scared.

"Do you think you can take you top off for me?"

Meekly Lexa nodded and slowly struggled to get her t-shirt over her head.

"See, that wasn't so bad, now, can you take off that cute little bralet." Andi encouraged.

Lexa's entire body was already tense. But hearing the instructions out loud made her freeze up. She willed her hands to move to her bralet and pull it over her head, but she just couldn't move.

"I can't. I can't do it."

"It's okay. It's okay." Andi cooed, sounding warm and caring, "would you like some help?"

Lexa could just manage a nod.

Andi delicately walked behind Lexa and lifted the piece of black material over her head.

Lexa grimaced as she felt the top lift over her head. As soon as her hands were out of the garment she the clamped her arms across her chest, hiding her small chest as best she could.

"I see you have a few tattoos," commented Andi, as if they were discussing the weather, "I wasn't expecting that. Can you tell me a bit about them."

"Well, um, I er, just wanted to get some done for a few years. When I turned eighteen I had already considered a load of designs. I thought these looked cool and I liked the way they made me look. It's like having something pretty to look at on my body".

Lexa had actually relaxed while talking, her arms were still clamped tight over her bust, but shoulders weren't hunched and tense like they were before.

"Fascinating," said Andi, scribbling notes down on her clipboard.

"Hey! what are you writing?" Lexa suddenly felt like she was being judged.

"Just notes on how you seem to behave when speaking about various topics. I can't make other people understand you, if I don't understand you myself."

Lexa didn't know what to say.

"It's quite clear that you're nervous about showing your chest, even if it's just me. I know we've only just met, but this reaction is less and less common now-a-days. If you don't mind me asking, when was the last time you let someone see you in a state of undress for non medical reasons? I mean friends, a partner, even family. Anyone."

"Well... um... I don't know if... well... when I was with my ex boyfriend I always turned the lights off when we... er..." Lexa turned bright red and trialed off.

"I see." Said Andi, who seemed more curious than surprised and made a small note before continuing. "So, you just don't want anyone seeing you like this. Have you always felt this way, or can you think of a time more recently where you started to feel more self conscious?"

"I think I've always been like this. I remember when I was still in school, someone loudly called me an ironing board because my chest was basically flat back then and half the class just laughed at me. My boobs grew a little after that, but they've always been on the small side."

They sat and talked like that for a few minutes more and the conversation turned to Lexa's day-to-day life. Lexa relaxed again and almost felt comfortable, it was only the occasional cold draft of air over her bare skin that kept reminding her that she was naked above the waist. Suddenly, she froze. Tom and the rest of the production crew, about three more people, walked back in to the room and began working on the set again.

Andi quickly looked back at them and then towards Lexa again. "Don't mind them," she said, "just keep talking, you were telling me about some career paths you've considered?"

They continued talking, but Lexa kept glancing nervously towards the crew, none of them paid her any mind, but she still felt exposed and self conscious. Trying to focus on anything but the other people in the room, Lexa begin talking faster, hoping that as long as she kept talking and focusing on what she was saying, she wouldn't think about her exposed boobs, or the people who could just glance over and see her exposed form.

"You do have a lot to say, and a lot that I want to hear." Andi manged to get in, between Lexa's rapid-fire sentences. "But, first, I think I want to take this exercise to the next stage. Can you put your arms in your lap?"

"I um, well..."

Andi met Lexa's gaze with a sympathetic, but stern look. Lexa knew she had ****. She screwed her eyes shut, dropped her hands to her lap, held the position for barely a second and then shot her hands back to their original position over her chest.

"That was a good start," said Andi, gently, "but I think you know I wanted you to keep your hands in your lap. So, in your own time."

Slowly, Lexa lowered her arms with clenched fists. She couldn't bring herself to look at Andi, and couldn't look down because that just reminded her of her nudity. She just turned her chin to her right shoulder and stared at the floor with her fingers twitching in her lap, is if they were trying to jump up to cover her breasts of their own accord.

"Look at me, Lexa."

Slowly, Lexa turned her head to Andi, meeting her gaze and trying not to look down.

"Good, now I want you to tell me about someone you look up to."

"What do you mean? Like a role model?"

"In a way, yes. I want you to think of someone you might have met or seen who made you personally feel 'I want to be like them.'"

That was quite a deep and somewhat personal question. Lexa didn't know how to answer, she wasn't even sure if she could answer.

"It's alright take your time."

Perhaps it was her exposed state, perhaps it was the bizzareness of the whole situation, but a thought struck Lexa and she decided it was as good an answer as any.

"There's this singer," she began, "Amanda Palmer."

"I'm aware of some of her work, do go on." Andi encouraged.

"Well, um, she sang at a festival and she was wearing a skimpy top... a bra really, and the Daily Mail did a whole feature on just her outfit and said nothing about the song or her performance."

"That sounds pretty typical for the Daily Mail."

"Yes, well, she then responded to them, by singing a song addressed to the Daily Mail at a concert."

"What did she say."

"She called them misogynistic twats, but that's not the inspiring part. What was shocking was that she stripped naked on stage and then sang a song calling them misogynistic twats."

Andi chuckled. "That, is a very brazen and witty response. So what about that did you look up to?"

"Well, I stumbled across that video by accident, I hadn't heard of her before then. And it was just... her nudity was shocking and funny and it got the crowd riled up, but it wasn't sexual or pornographic it was just, her. She was comfortable just standing there like that and it was a slap in the face to her detractors at the same time. I want to have that kind of assurance in myself."

"Well said, Lexa." Said Andi proudly. "I think this is a perfect direction to take the photos. Something that will be bold, but comfortable, provocative in terms of your sense of self, instead of by sexuality."

"That's great, but how do you want to do that?" Andi's sudden enthusiasm had made Lexa nervous again and her hands were slowly creeping up towards her chest.

"I'm going to get you to feel the self assurance that Amanda embodies in all of her performance pieces, then I'm going to capture that on camera. First, put your hands by your sides."

Lexa only just noticed what her hands were doing, and **** them back down.