Meanwhile, Cindy

If anyone were to walk in at this moment, they would only see a pile of blankets on the bed, under which you're tightly curled up. To be honest, you wouldn't mind if the furniture itself ate you right now, assimilating you into its folds and making you slip gently into oblivion. What a comforting embrace that would be.

You try to chase these demons away by burning your face on the sheets, striving to focus on their scent, on their texture: after all, this was your bedroom until a few days ago. You've even worn one of your old hoodies as a PJ, you should feel at home here.

But it barely feels familiar. Yes, you recognize everything - but not differently by the set of some famous movie. It just feels... wrong, **** in a sense. This plush, which you recall having become too small for your manly body, is now oversized on your lithe frame; and this stink of late-teen boy all over, mixed with the lazy chaos of the room, partially disgusts, partially arouses you; but it fails to be relaxing.

It simply feels pathetic. You are pathetic.

-My poor, poor Cindy.- Lying behind you, Kim is moving your hair behind your ear from your temple.

-So little, so ****. So... unable to even get mad at me.-.

You struggle to ignore her taunts, plunging your mouth even deeper into the pillow.

-You're a disaster!- Cindy herself spits directly to your face: -You're ruining my life! I've never looked so mediocre before!-.

-What have you done to me?- She has moved again, this time over you, and is now looking like Maria.

-I thought you cared about me. Are you at least trying to do something?-.

You do. But it's just so painful.

-It should have been you.- Heather accuses you: -Not me. You.- and then it's your mom: -You've hurt me Cindy! You're dangerous!-.

"I... you're right... you're all right...".

You feel the spirals of gloom circling on you, crushing you under their weight, and the voices overlapping and screaming in your head; but when it's about to break you, someone unexpectedly knocks at the door.

You pipe up in a snap, a little scared to be honest. Aren't you alone in the house?

-Cindy? You here?- A crystalline voice is calling you, a voice that you recognize. In fact, the door is opened, and the person who walks in is your cousin; that is, your former cousin, Emily Allen, wearing a red tank top and a black A-line skirt. Her doeish snout falls upon you, immediately enlightening in a delectable smile.

-Good morning Cindy! Hope I'm not a bother! I, uh, I bought some croissants.- You notice that she's holding a paper sachet which she's raising as a gesture of peace. You, however, are currently too surprised to answer properly.

-G-Good morning, w-why are you here?-.

-Well, to bring you the croissants.- She replies with a confused frown; then: -Oh, you mean in the house! Kim and Tina asked me to check on you, today I had no lectures, and so...-.

-...I see.- You defensively squeeze your shoulders in a shudder: -I'm fine, thank you.- you say trailing off. Instead of leaving, Emily places the bag on the desk and saunters to you.

-You sure? Don't take it wrong, but you look like you need some company. Unless baggy boyish clothes have become fashionable.- She looks down at you, and you can't deny that she's gotten you on this. You clutch the covers to your chest defensively.

-Besides, I'm sorry I wasn't there last night. This is my way to compensate. So,- She sits on the bed next to you: -come on, tell me what's in your mind.-.

You look at her pretty visage, so candidly distended in a cordial expression. It's uncomfortable, actually; not because she wants it to be like that, you know how to mimic friendliness in a manipulatory way and she definitely isn't; but because you feel ugly before that, both inside and outside, you feel that you don't deserve it. You feel guilty.

And she sees that.

-Well, if you want it of course. Or we could just chat a bit, let's see...- She looks up thoughtfully, then: -Have you seen that new series on Flixgrid? Thursday, it's called.-.

-I... I did...- You answer in a faint voice. She curls her mouth, but doesn't lose heart and gets up with firmness: -You're right, I wouldn't want to talk either right after having woken up. Let's eat then.- she grabs the bag and opens it, offering you a brioche. You, nevertheless, are keeping your eyes lowered.

-Come on! If I break my diet alone, then how do I say to myself that it wasn't my fault? A girl needs to live with herself!-.

Gaining no reaction, she tightens her lips in a pouch and shakes the pastry, talking in a cheesy voice: -Please Ms. Cindy, I'm still tepid! And my holder is feeling like an intruder here! I'm not sure she's totally sane, she's making silly impersonations, she scares me!-.

You can't hold back a chortle for that fanciful scene, and therefore the croissant starts wawing in joy.

-Wiiii! She can still laugh!-.

-Ok, ok, you won!- You titter, taking the sweets (which indeed looks appetizing, with cream and icing sugar, and is still worm) and biting it.

"...It's really good.".

After a pair of more bites, you realize that, while she's eating, Emily is looking at you from above with an intrigued expression.

-W-What?- You ask, afraid of having dirtied your mouth like some baby.

-Uh, nothing, sorry.- She replies with pursed lips, chewing: -I was just thinking that you're very cute when you're eating.-.

You blush, once again burying your head in the shoulders.

-And you also have a pinch of cream on your nose.-.

Reddened in your face, but now for a different reason, you furiously wipe it out while she sits back on Tom's chair, chuckling at your awkwardness.

-Uff! Wow, it does feel strange to be in here, after... you know.- She comments. You mutter in agreement, and it's weird to know that it's the exact same for as it is for you: to think, that is, that you and her, these two lovely young girls, are actually the same person; your friend's brother, moreover.

You see she's having difficulties in choosing a topic to talk about. After all, you burned all the boilerplates: if you have any crush on someone; how you spent the last days; skyscrapers, if that has ever been a subject. If you were in here, you would be afraid to even ask 'how are you?'.

You smile a bitter smile: -I'm really a disaster, right?- you say. She turns, worried, at you: -No, Cindy, you're not. You are simply going through a bad time, a very, very bad time; but it doesn't define you.-.

You should believe her, you guess. Studying medicine, she is certainly more prepared on a psychological level than you. You draw your legs to your chest, hiding your face into your knees.

-And what about letting others pay for my mistakes? You too, you could... you could be anywhere else right now. Even help Kim and Tina; instead, I'm making you waste your time with me. I'm so... egoistic.-.

Emily doesn't reply for some interminable seconds; then she sighs, a resigned smirk lifting her lips: -I'd rather say egocentric. Heh, now I see why Kim likes you!-.

At these words, you look at her puzzled, and you noticed that she has become serious.

-Cindy, I know how guilt works, I know what you're trying to do, but you must understand that it's not all about you. I'm here because I want to be here, because I care about you. And sometimes... sometimes bad things happen. We can't avoid that.-.

-But Charity... Heather...- You protest. Maria.

-Are you the one who has kidnapped her?- She rebuts, a solemn tone that counterbalances the sarcasm: -Are you the one who's holding her away?-.

-No... but...-.

-And Charity, well, let's be honest, sooner or later it would have happened. Kim, or someone else... you just caught the shortest straw. Cindy, please, believe me on this. I know it sounds difficult, but you have to convince yourself of this.-.

She's right. Rationally, she's impeccable, irreproachable.

But you can't accept that. If you can't even blame yourself, then, then...

-Why do you care about me?- You ask hoarsely: -We are not relatives anymore! We, we barely know each other...-.

-Oh, come on, that's not true!- She gently brushes your back: -We are sisters, Cindy. We are a family.-.

You don't answer, entrenching behind a curtain of silence. Neither you cry - you swore yourself not to, until everything is over. Emily keeps cuddling you for a bit, then resumes: -...actually, that's funny, we could really pass for Kim and Tina!-.

This makes you smile a little; she, instead, has seemingly found her new approach and jumps on her feet: -So, come on 'sis, let's give you a clean up! The school Queen Bee can't be seen looking like that!-.

It takes some moments, but you eventually relent to her efforts and timidly lift your head.

-And what do you know about looking good, dork?-.

She grins and moves you to the bathroom, placing you in front of the mirror. Gawd, you're a mess.

-Let's start!- Emily announces triumphally.

Half an hour later, you're admiring yourself like before, but looking completely different and renewed. Your hair from messy and disheveled is now carefully styled in a wavy touch, colored blond toward the tips; your visage, after a careful scrub and wipe, is showing off a stylish and well-dosed make-up; finally, Tom's hoodie has been discarded, and you're now wearing a spaghetti-strap silver crop top and tight shorts with turns-up. You were recalcitrant at first, being all Kim's stuff, but as you learned she herself made sure Emily reminded you that you could take anything you wanted, and so you were finally convinced. And... you kinda like the result.

From behind you, Emily slips her hand under your armpits, caressing your soft body with her indices, curling around your breasts, and she rests her chin on your shoulder.

-That's more like you sis. Uhh, look at that grin! You like what you see!-.

-I... may do, yeah.-.

-Well- She retracts, marching to the door: -let's move downstairs then! Your room is still needing some fresh air!-. You follow her downstairs, and you get curious when, approaching the living room, you hear the TV on.

-Oh, Tyler!- Emily exclaims, rushing in. In fact, there is a guy sitting on the couch, into whose arms she has just leaped.

-Babe I'm so sorry! I totally forgot you were here!- She's giving him smooches on the neck, visibly mortified by her apparent forgetfulness. He, on the other side, doesn't seem to be really bothered, but you suppose it's for the tiny piece of goo which is currently scrambling his brain. In any case, you give him a circumstantial smile. You're pretty sure he's her boyfriend, and he's not that bad at all. Black hair gathered in a pigtail, somewhat uncertain ethnicity, and seems quite stacked under his shirt. A 'cute butt', you would say.

-Cindy, this is my boyfriend, Tyler.- Emily introduces him once she's over with the kisses.

-And Tyler, this is Kim's friend, Cindy. She's very important, so I want you to treat her like you would do with me, ok?-.

-Yeah babe.-.

-Uh, nice to meet you.- You shake his hand and... wow, what a strong grip. W-Whatev, not that it matters right now.

-I'm sorry for this inconvenience, Cindy, we were together and so I brought him here.- She pleads with sweet eyes: -Honey, I swear I'll make it up to you, but maybe Cindy prefers a girl-only morning you know?-.

-Oh!- You turn slightly pink: -Don't worry, if you were planning something I don't intend to interfere!-.

-But Cindy, I insist! Today I want to dedicate myself to you, please!-.

You look uncertain at the two of them, still tangled with each other, and she really seems to mean those words: -...If that's so, that's ok. And, he can stay too.-.

-Great!-.

You sit down next to her and she takes the remote from her boyfriend. After a bit of zapping, you find nothing interesting and so you decide to try something else.

-Look, someone has left a deck on the kitchen table.- Emily notices and giggles: -Oh, the memories!-.

You shiver, perfectly knowing what she's referring to; even if, technically, none of you two were present, not in these forms at least.

"It was just last Sunday. So many things have happened...".

-I did it babe.- Tyler mumbles in response, eliciting Emily to mellow out and hug him again.

-Aww, you got so bored because of me! I'm so sorry Tybee!-.

You have to confess that you feel a little a gooseberry in front of such fuss, but you try not to think about it and to focus on the cards.

-I guess we could play. N-Not like that time, I mean.- You hurriedly add.

If the thought had ever passed Emily's mind, she doesn't show it: -Sure.- she agrees.

That said, the three of you sit down, and you start shuffling.