McNinja's tale...

..."Doc! Doc, it's horrible!" Gordito shouted, running into his boss's office.

"Gordito, I'm with a patient right now!" The Doctor scolded, going over X-Rays with Mr. Marter, who has a tumor in his brain that would do nothing worse then give him an odd appetite for pancakes until it was removed, "What's wrong?"

"My mustache!" Gordito cried, "It was stolen!"

"...stolen?" Dr. McNinja blinked, looking curiously at Gordito's very much mustachless face, "How does a mustache get stolen?"

"I took it off for a second, turned my back, went to put it back on, and it was gone, replaced with this note!" Gordito wailed (he was a lot more of a pansy without his stache), handing McNinja the note.

"You...can take it off?" Dr. McNinja asked

"Sure, standard practice," Mr. Macer, who also had a mustache, replied, "How else do you think we keep these suckers clean?"

"...Alright, I'm not even going to go into alll the ways that's biologically imposible." Dr. McNinja decided aloud, opening up the note, which read, "Dear DrMcNinja, I have your wards mustache, and if you ever want to get this facial work of art back, you come and find me! Signed, An Admirer." Dr. McNinja frowned, "Whelp, that's a trap if I've ever seen one, but why sign it 'admirer'? Very strange..."

"Please, Doc, you got to go get my Mustache back!" Gordito sobbed, "I'm useless without that mustache, it's to me what the sun is to superman, what the speedforce is to the Flash, what money is to Batman! I can't function without it!"

"Alright, even though your being an annoying whiny bitch about this, I was impressed by all the super-hero references, so I'll do it. Now, the thief doesn't say in the note where he is, so I'll have to figure it out for myself. Where exactly was the mustache stolen?"

"In the woods," Gordito whimpered, "Where all those ghosts are."

Dr. McNinja hated ghosts. "Ugh, great. Well, I could either check the crime scene...or maybe run some data on the note itself for clues...aw, hell, maybe I'll Batman it and go jump through a warehouse. What should I do...?"