Matters of justice and trials of the High School ninja

A river valley in Idaho…

Despite the fact that there was two inches of snow on the ground, the plant bud sticking out of the ground was clearly that of a skunk-cabbage. Or at least that was what it was meant to look like. The observer watched as it started to unfold. A hunter would have taken a picture because ‘The boys are never going to believe this!’ while a weekend environmentalist would have streamed it to their social media with hash-tags about ‘climate change is real!’ The observer was not any of those, and with a simple press of a button the observer promptly put the phone down and forgot about it.

*

“MISTER TODD,” the voice chilled Jason’s blood, “A moment if you please.”

“Yes Miss Wayne?” Jason turned around.

“I think Mister Batson needs a bad influence in his life…” Helen pronounced with an imperious tone, “It is also about time that Miss Worth started her Saturday classes along with Miss Roth, Miss Morse and yourself.”

“You know this is entrapment,” Jason said, “You are telling me to do something bad, and you are going to punish me for it.”

“Think of it like the trails of the Agoge,” Helen sneered, “You are not getting punished for doing something bad, you get punished for getting caught. Father always emphasized Ninja Stealth, and that is a set of lessons you need to work on personally.”

*

The storm had cleared up finally, yesterday during the day, there had been a lull, but it picked back up in the evening and finally cleared out. Bruce was pissed. Kara looked around, while she mused. Karen had gone on a rogue operation and had left Gotham… It seemed she killed Doctor Woodrue and taken a woman from his residence.

“Wow, you look causal,” Jean-Paul said as he came to the table, “Jeans and a T-shirt?”

Kara smiled, the unpolished white latex wasn’t reflecting like many of the other rubber outfits would in the soft natural light of the café.

“Well I figured you would like me to see me in a plain white tee-shirt and jeans,” Kara said, “I am sure the Paparazzi was disappointed however.”

“The three creeps across the street with the cameras hidden in their jackets?” Jean-Paul asked.

“Only three? Then the fourth and fifth must be scurrying for a different angle,” Kara rolled her eyes.

Jean-Paul took his seat at the small table and leaned in to speak with Kara more privately. Kara could see the moment the smell hit him, he eyes started playing over her.

“Yes, it’s the tee-shirt,” Kara smiled, “You didn’t think I went completely normal now did you?”

“I suppose it would have been disappointing if you had,” Jean-Paul took a deep breath, “Where is the menu?”

“I already ordered for us, it should be out shortly…” Kara smiled.

*

Jason Woodrue smiled as he stood up… he had a facsimile of clothes on, enough to get to the cabin. His face had come back as human. He would have to finish off Pamela and the blonde bitch that fried him…

“Doctor Jason Woodrue…” the deep base voice echoed across the frozen swamp.

Jason turned in panic, looking for who was watching him.

“You are guilty of crimes against nature…” the deep voice bellowed.

“That’s a lie!” Jason rebuffed.

“Only the Green may blend animal and plant flesh together, and but once a generation,” the voice echoed.

“Who are you?” Jason kept walking backwards in a circle looking for his accuser.

A massive man stepped forward from the trees, he seemed to be made of plants, his skin was like a moss-covered bark.

“You?” Jason snarled, “What authority do you have over me?”

“I call the members of the Parliament of the Trees, the council of the Green to pass judgment!” Swamp-Thing bellowed.

“Guilty!” an oak hissed at Woodrue.

“Guilty!” a willow hissed.

All around him Jason heard each tree and plant repeat the chorus of Guilty.

“No! No!” Jason snapped, “What would you do with me? Kill me?”

“No,” another man’s voice interrupted.

“I can think of better alternatives,” a woman’s voice intoned.

Woodrue turned to the new voices… there was the Red and blue form of Superman floating above the snow and the form of Wonder Woman watching her step as she moved closer.

“Parliament of Trees, would you heard these champion’s compromise?” the Swamp Thing asked.

“Speak,” the Oak called.

“Speak,” the Willow said with an amused tone.

“You have judged him guilty of his crimes against nature, but if you keep him here, he can contaminate the other plants,” Diana spoke, “Let us take him to our space station and imprison him where he can not contaminate other plants or people.”

“Agreed, Agreed, Agreed,” came the voices from the plants, “Take him! Take him!”

“What?” Woodrue proclaimed in shock.

“Jason Woodrue,” the Swamp-Thing intoned, “For your crimes again Nature, you are banished from this planet, your fate is in the hands of the Justice League.”

“NO!” Jason panicked.

He thought of how Pamela had used plants to restrain him, so he reached out with his mind and tried to will the plants to capture the heroes and green-man so he could escape… A hint of a smile came to Woodrue as branches started moving towards Superman’s head.

“NO,” Swamp-Thing practically growled as he held out a half fist.

The green hand opened and fell back to the plant man’s side and the branches went back to normal and ignored Woodrue’s attention on them.

“No, no,” Woodrue said.

Superman floated down and hovered next to the seemingly human form of the doctor…

“It’s time to go Doctor,” Superman spoke as he placed a hand on Woodue’s shoulder, “The Parliament of trees has spoken.”

Three flashes of light removed Superman, Wonder Woman and the form of Doctor Jason Woodrue from the woods.

*

Kara parked the SUV in the garage and walked across the driveway to the kitchen door. As she reached for the door handle, the door opened.

“Welcome home Miss Kara,” Alfred smiled.

“Hay Alfred,” Kara smiled back, “Who else is home?”

“How was your lunch with mister Valley?” Bruce asked from the kitchen table.

Kara stepped inside and looked around. Jason was on a bar stool at the island with an icepack over an eye and Bruce was seated at the kitchen table with a tablet.

“Murder warrant?” Kara asked.

“Rough draft of the most recent ‘toy store safety audit.’ What is a ‘surprise lulz doll’ suppose to be?” Bruce muttered to himself.

“What did you do?” Kara asked walking to Jason, “Did you call Helen Bat-Kitty?”

“I have a black eye, not a broken skull,” Jason said, “Besides, it is all Helen’s fault.”

Kara put her hands on her hips and cocked an eyebrow.

“Helen told me to provoke a fight with Rose,” Jason lifted the ice pack as he looked Kara in the eyes, “So I slapped her butt, you know, ‘good game,’ style and she turned around and punched me. All so Helen could give her a Saturday detention. After all she needed an excuse to join us in Helen’s Ago-go-ge of Doom!”

“Decent punch line,” Alfred said as he pulled out a fresh ice pack and handed it Jason, “But you need to work on your delivery.”

“Spy, saboteur, gun expert, butler, and comedy critic,” Jason muttered.

“And people wonder why I don’t bother making jokes,” Bruce muttered.

“The package is for you Miss Kara,” Alfred pointed with a large butcher’s knife.

Kara arched an eyebrow and picked up the box.

“Of course, Mrs. Lane-Kent used lead foil to line the box,” Alfred said calmly.

*

“ALFRED! I NEED YOUR MOST PAINFUL POISON!” Kara shouted as she stomped out of the elevator.

Alfred, Bruce and Dick looked at Kara as she stormed out of the elevator and into the cave.

“Alfred, don’t say anything until we see what’s under the cape,” Dick held up a hand.

Alfred, Bruce and Dick all crossed their arms and looked at Kara.

“Fine,” Kara threw back the cape showing off the outfit.

The outfit was a red and blue minidress inspired by Clark’s Superman suit. Kara’s had a red pleated pleather skirt and a blue long-sleeved top with a big Kryptonian Hope glyph on the chest. Two small brass buttons held the red pleather cape to her collar bones.

“Oh that is nice, why are you upset about it?” Alfred asked.

Kara sneered as she reached pinched where her nipples would be and pulled the top out to full circumference revealing that the top was made for a woman with a much bigger bosom. The rest of the shapes and curves of the cuts were perfect for Kara.

“She didn’t make a mistake giving the maker Karen’s bra size and the rest of my measurements,” Kara snapped.

“Poison?” Bruce asked with a disappointed tone, “That the best you can come up with?”

“You have a better idea?” Kara snapped.

“No, Jason does… And don’t bother denying it Jason,” Bruce turned back to the main terminal.

“Fine,” Jason said walking out of the alcove with the first aid station, “So, how to humiliate Lois? You are friends with the owners of the kinkiest sex shops in Gotham, numerous dominatrix-esess, and perverted lingerie designers… the question is how good are you at programing the Kryptonian Robo-butlers Clark has at his artic love shack?”

“Oh I see where this is going,” Dick smiled, “I think it wouldn’t take much to convince Babs to help out picking some accessories to be added to the wardrobe patterns…”

*

It took all of two hours to get the pattern figured out. Freaks of Gotham were more than willing to mix the toys into the pre-cut sections ready to be assembled right on to Lois’s body. Kara had snuck in and uploaded the new code to the Servo-bots. Now it was a matter of waiting…

*

Batgirl sat next gargoyle on top of the cathedral, Pappa Bat was pissed. He was rather displeased with Karen going rogue and killing Woodrue and took the only witness. Well, if it was good or bad really depended on your point of view, but a few of Penguin’s goons had decided to go on a sledding spree and rob a bunch of ATMs while they were at it. So… Since Karen wasn’t around to punish, there was an unprecedentedly violent number of Gargoyle attacks.

“He is really not happy,” Dick said from his perch on the Gargoyle’s head, “He is really not happy…”

“No shit,” Barbara said looking up from her checking the police radio, “Patrol cars are reporting that Penguin goons are flagging them down and begging to be arrested to escape Gargoyle attacks.”

“Think the red headed step child is missing this?” Dick asked.

“What?” Barbara said, “Sitting around twiddling his thumbs while the Bat-Id goes wild? At least he is nice and warm and talking to his girlfriend.”

“Hay, you got your boy-toy,” Dick called.

“Well then get over here,” Barbara said, “I am freezing my ass off.”

*

Helen Wayne walked into the school’s infirmary… William Batson was hunched over a giant bucket and Garfield Logan was standing in a fluffy bathrobe with a towel around his neck.

“What is going on Mister Logan?” Helen intoned.

“Well Dean Wayne,” Garfield stammered, “I was going to take a shower and heard horrific noises from one of the toilet stalls and went to check… I found this guy puking…”

Another round of wrenching came from Billy. Helen looked at the boy and then looked back at Logan.

“Thank you mister Logan,” Helen dismissed Garfield, “What do you think doctor?”

“Well I think he will be fine,” Jackie Forrest said as she stood up, “It seems he ate something that didn’t agree with him… Still I would keep an eye on him for the next two days.”

The Nurse Practitioner smiled at the boy in front of him, and nodded towards her private desk. Helen followed the woman. Helen closed the door behind her.

“Dean Wayne,” Jackie said as she pushed her red locks from her face, “I don’t think it is a stomach bug, I think he ate something tainted with ipecac or something similar.”

“That is a serious accusation doctor,” Helen stated sternly.

“I know,” the nurse practitioner said walked around in a very small circle, “But there are no signs of pathological reason for his vomiting.”

“That is most distressing,” Helen turned and looked at the boy.

“Who does he hang out with?” Jackie asked.

“He is rather close to Mister Freeman and Miss Broomfield,” Helen noted, “When I see them in the halls, they are together… But it is to be expected, they are in the same classes.”

“I’d like to keep him isolated for now, just in case it is one of them,” Jackie stated.

“Is there anyone in the quarantine rooms?” Helen asked.

“You know they are empty,” Jackie smiled.

“Very well, have security put him in one for the night, in the morning he can join the Saturday detention club,” Helen stated calmly.

“Do you think he did it to himself?” Jackie asked.

“The facts of Mister Batson having ample reason to be considered a troubled young man and state records,” Helen stated in a cold even tone, “However, I doubt we should suspect him of Munchausen Syndrome. No, he is not in trouble, but it will give me the opportunity to keep an eye on him during the day. That is what you were alluding to, that we should keep an eye on him?”

“Yes Dean,” Jackie smiled, “I am sure he will get better.”

*

Billy was confused, the only one in the room was Jason Todd, the school asshole. Jason wasn’t a bully, not exactly, but he was always up for a fight.

“Come on in,” Jason smiled as he took another sip from a paper coffee cup.

“I was suppose to meet Miss Wayne…” Billy said.

“Yep, this is the place…” Jason took another sip.

“So where is Miss Wayne?” Billy asked.

“The next room watching us,” Jason said.

“You seem pretty cocky sitting on the teacher’s desk,” Billy said.

“I am the assistant professor for this class,” Jason smiled.

“This is a detention,” Billy stated.

“That’s what you tell everyone,” Jason looked down into the paper coffee cup.

“Well fuck you…” Rose hissed as she walked in the door.

“Hi,” Jason said, “Nice right hook by the way…”

“Oh relax,” Garfield Logan said as he squeezed past Rose Worth and the door.

“Stop blocking the door,” Jinny Hex said from behind Rose.

“Yeah,” Megan said as she put a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder, “Welcome to the club… Don’t worry about Jason.”

“Quit blocking the door new girl,” Barda snapped.

“I hate mornings,” Raven intoned as she shambled into the room.

“Alright, lets go…” Jason said as he got off the desk.

He went around the desk and lifted it up and much to Billy’s and Rose’s shock it came up on hinges revealing a trap door in the floor. The other students moved to file down the stair well. Billy felt the hand on his shoulder and it was one of the Seniors.

“Don’t worry, we all have had our first time,” he smiled, “Come on.”

Billy went to the stairs and spotted a sign, it was a version of ancient Greek. Using the Wisdom of Salomon, Billy read it, “Welcome to the Huntresses Agoge…” and as he went down the stairs, he noticed another message written into the wall; “The Man of Steel fell in thirteen seconds.”

“Donna did those to add to the flavor,” the senior smiled.