March 22, 2020

Dear Diary,

Yes, this pandemic thing fucking sucks. Now I'm starting to wish I hadn't broken up with B so we could have quarantined together. I mean, yeah he's boring, but at least we could have been doing it nonstop like bunnies. I might even have let him do me back there! (Okay...probably not. Still not into anal hahaha).

Besides not going out with my friends, I'm really missing eating in restaurants. Diary, we both know that I absolutely suck as a cook. I've been trying, but I don't seem to be able to make anything that, you know, TASTES GOOD! Where does flavor come from anyway? And how do I get it into my food? These are secrets that I apparently never learned.

As usual, though, porn seems to have all the answers. Today I watched a freaky clip where a man in a mask shoved hot dogs up a woman's pussy and then ate them. German, of course. I guess that's one way to flavor your food! Oh wait, if it was German then they were probably bratwurst, not hot dogs. Whatever. He seemed to enjoy the taste. I had to turn it off, though, when he started stuffing hardboiled eggs up her ass. I did NOT want to see him eating those. Yucckkkk!!