Lupe is your date

You're no genius when it comes to girls but you are a computer programmer which means you know something about logic. You quickly logic the situation:

1. Lupe normally doesn't date.
2. You are not exactly the hottest commodity on the date market
3. The girl standing in front of you doesn't like Lupe
4. She is way out of your league when it comes to attractiveness

Therefore the reason she's coming onto you is because you're with Lupe. The second you're not with Lupe, you're of no more use to her. So, if you want to get her, you need to stay with Lupe. If you dont' want to get her, you need to stay with Lupe. There is no way to win without staying with Lupe.

"Nice to meet you," you tell the beauty with your best attempt to convey complete indifference before turning to your date. "Hey Lupe, want me to grab something for us while you hang with your friends?"

"Sure. Can you get me a small chocolate shake?"

"Coming up."

The beauty stares at you like you're an alien, which doesn't surprise you. You doubt any straight male has ever just ignored her pickup attempt.

When you return a couple of minutes later with a chocolate shake for Lupe and a diet cola for yourself, Lupe is surrounded by her friends while the beauty is still fuming.

"This is a joke, right?" she demands when you hand Lupe her shake.

"Sorry?"

"You're too old for her for one thing."

You shrug. "I guess I'm just lucky."

"But she's fat."

"You know what... you're right. She is a little plump and you're hot as shit. But there's another difference. She's nice and frankly, I haven't seen any niceness out of you."

Beauty sputters at you. "I can be nice."

"You certainly weren't nice to Lupe."

"But she's fat."

"And that hurts you how?"

You turn back to Lupe who's slurping her shake. "Do you want to stay and talk to your friends or would you like to go for a walk."

"There's a park nearby. Let's go there."

Lupe takes you by the hand and drags you away. You can see she's close to tears.

"Sorry," you say. "Was I supposed to do something else?"

She turns toward you and wraps her arms around you. "You were perfect. I can't believe you shot her down. Nobody has ever shot her down before."

She tilts her face back and kisses you.