Loyalty

Present Day…

Today, when Kendall goes to see James, she instead finds herself going grocery shopping with her mother for supper that night. This means that she follows her mother around the store, dressed in a pair of short-shorts and a tank-top thin enough to show her nipples while men ogle her as she passes and women give her disapproving frowns. Her mother goes shopping at the grocery store nearest to her home, too, just so that Kendall might run into Jackson and have to explain to him her attire.

As she follows her mother, Kendall distracts herself from shame and humiliation by wondering what she is doing with her life. Now having had her asshole reamed by James, Kendall is finally allowed to walk freely without a plug in her ass. That is a small comfort to her, however, as the removal of the plug has left her feeling empty and the pleasure of James’ dick has left her wanting him to fill her. She will take it in any hole at this point, and she is no longer above asking for it in her asshole.

The problem is that James is well-endowed, and he fucks her hard and deep like she likes, but she still doesn’t like him as a person. Her attraction to him is enough to interfere with her hate, to diminish it at times of arousal, but it not enough to unmake her hatred altogether. Two years of **** leaves deep, deep roots, and while the sex is good, orgasms can only do so much, especially when James just simply hasn’t changed.

Still, she thinks, the orgasms are really good, and she smiles to herself as she thinks that James’ dick should be a lawyer. It does at least make a very compelling argument that she should forgive him all of his past crimes, especially when she considers what it did to her mother. In front of her, Paige walks the store in a pair of yoga pants that did nothing to contain her big, jiggling bottom. Kendall wasn’t the only one who had changed for James. Her mother, she realizes, is like a completely different person.

Kendall’s mother was like a projection of an older Kendall, a precursor of what Kendall would someday become. Like Kendall, she had children young, and as a result is still quite beautiful. James’ intervention seemed only to make her more beautiful as he made her give up both drinking and smoking. Childbirth had been kind to both women, endowing them with fat in feminine places, Paige’s abstinence from cigarettes and **** and done wonders to improve her skin and hair. Being fucked by James helped, too, and seemed to make Paige glow in the same way that Kendall feels like she has been glowing recently.

Paige’s submission to James makes sense to Kendall. After all, she is her mother’s child in many other ways, so it is only logical to think that the James’ influence over one would manifest similarly in the other. Having seen her mother’s submission first hand, however, is almost frightening. Paige has always been so headstrong and angry, but James seems to subdue her. Sometimes, Kendall even thinks her mother is happy. Seeing this, and seeing the joy on her own brother’s face when James is in the room, or on Allyson’s face when James is with them, Kendall finds it hard to stay angry. With the way he makes them all glow, she wonders if it wouldn’t just be better to forgive and enjoy James instead.

She follows her mother closely in the store, hugging herself for warmth and modesty. They are in the cooled section of the store, and her nipples are showing like beacons. She regards each aisle they enter with a fixed frown. Paige had noticed a few aisles back, but it isn’t until they reach the meat aisle that she addresses it. Picking up a big, juicy steak, she turns it over in her hands and says, “Is something wrong back there, dumpling?”

“Dumpling?” Kendall rolls her eyes. In all her life, Paige had never used a pet name for anyone Kendall had known. The use of one now strikes Kendall as sarcastic and not affectionate. Watching her mother with the steak, Kendall briefly thinks of James’ big dick and heavy balls and realizes that a man like him would need a lot of protein to keep his balls full. She imagines him coming, then, and grimaces as fresh arousal washes over her.

It galls her the affect James has on her. Everything seems to remind her of his big, fat cock and his heavy, bottomless testicles. Even her mother’s yoga pants remind her of James, and as she watches her plump bottom wiggle and jiggle with her steps, Kendall imagines James with them, staring and growing hard. He would fuck Paige in the store without a second thought, ruining her in front of a crowd, and Paige is so far gone, she would allow it. Kendall wonders if she would allow it herself, and her nipples stiffen with arousal as she feels disgusted with herself.

“You just seem so sad all the time. I never see you smiling unless your daddy’s big, fat dick is in your face.” Paige loads up the steak and makes her way toward the dairy aisle for butter.

Kendall frown deepens as she follows her mother. “I don’t want to talk about it, mom.”

Paige picks up a tub of butter and turns it over, and Kendall watches her, wondering when Paige started shopping. It didn’t even occur to her until this very moment that she has no memories like this. Paige was a single mother, but she almost never took her children shopping with her. It seems impossible to Kendall that it never happened, but from all of her memories, Kendall did the shopping, the cooking, and the cleaning around the house while her mother drank.

“Okay,” says Paige, putting the butter into the cart, and she turns to Kendall. “But I do want to talk about it. I’m worried about you, Kendall. You seem so unhappy with that Jackson-boy you’re parading around with, and he just doesn’t seem very good for you. You’re grumpy every time I see you.” She smiles. “Except when James has his dick in you, that is.”

“Mom!” Kendall looks around the store, her cheeks burning and pushing away the cold. Paige laughs and returns to her cart, and they start walking again. “It’s crazy that you think Jackson is the problem. Mom, James beat me for two years, threatened to kill me, stole my mom, hid my fucking birth control from me, and when I finally get away, he shows up a few months later with an enormous dick and fucks me into his slut. Oh, and to top it off? He’s already done to the same to my mother, my brother, and one a friend from work who suddenly started hating me for no reason. Except now I have a reason—he made her hate me. THAT is what is making me sad, mom. Jackson ahs nothing to do with it.”

Paige stops to regard her daughter skeptically and then shrugs. “Oh, that’s all?” She rounds a corner with Kendall trailing after her. “Well, if that’s the case, then you just need to get over it and stop whining.”

Now, Kendall’s ears burn as a furnace of rage spills through her. Goosebumps and nipples be damned, her arms go to her side as she balls her fists and stomps after her mother in growing, wide-eyed rage. “Get over it? Stop whining?” Her voice walks the line between a shriek and a whisper, becoming almost unintelligible in the process. “Mom, he…” She calms as they pass an employee in the store who stares, fixedly, at her stiff nipples. Crossing her arms, Kendall shuffles closer to her mother and whispers, “He just fucked my asshole the other day, and he did it with all three of you watching us!”

Paige flashes Kendall a smile. “He did,” she says. “And then you sucked your asshole right off his dick like a good girl.” Her smile lingers as Kendall looks around the store in shame. No one hears them, but Paige would make no effort to hide it even if someone did. She experiences no shame in being James’ slut, and where sympathy for her daughter should be, she has only amusement instead. “I was so proud!”

“Just go,” Kendall says, shoving her mother forward as the older woman laughs. They walk in silence, Paige picking things from random shelves as they go. Kendall breathes deeply to calm herself. Wherever she goes, she can smell James on her still. She can smell him on her mother, too. Sometimes, she forgets that the smell is there, but it keeps her arousal going by constantly fueling her furnace. It is her new normal, she realizes, and it leads her to her next question. “Mom, do you think this is normal?”

Paige laughs at her daughter. “I never said any of this was normal, Kendall.” She stops and looks at her daughter. “I’m saying that you enjoy it.” Her becomes accusing. “You do enjoy it, don’t you?”

Kendall stops and, still hugging herself, averts her gaze. They are standing among the snacks now, and Paige has been doing a heavy amount of shopping here. Having shopped for James before, Kendall knows his preferences and isn’t surprised. She breathes through the butterflies in her belly and whispers, “I do.”

“Well, there you go,” says Paige, returning to pushing the cart and pulling things from the shelves as she goes. Kendall follows only a foot or so behind her.

“But just because it feels good with James doesn’t meant that it won’t feel good with someone else, right? I like being a slut. I even like being his slut, but I would probably like it more if I was someone else’s slut, and if maybe someone **** had gotten a big cock like James’, then they could make us their slut.”

Paige stops suddenly and turns to face her daughter. “And that right there is your problem, Kendall. You keep looking for a solution to the problem, but there isn’t one.” She speaks matter-of-factly, without judgement but also without sympathy. It is the most honest Kendall has seen her mother be, and she finds herself rooted and listening. “James is crass, and he is cruel, and he is awful in so many big and little ways that I can’t always keep track of it. He is also the best fuck of my life. I love his dick and, sometimes, when it’s really, really good, I even think I love him, too, and I don’t know if he deserves any of it. Maybe he doesn’t. It really doesn’t matter, and do you know why?”

Tears in her eyes, Kendall shakes her head quietly like the reprimanded child she was.

“Because he’s the one with the dick. There is no one better, baby. Whether or not Jackson would be better or worse to you with a big dick doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t have a big dick, and he can’t fuck you like James can. If he could, he would have already. So, the way I see it is, you can spend all your time wondering and waiting, but at the end of the day you’ll keep coming back to James, and you’ll keep licking his toes and licking his asshole and licking anything else he wants you to because he’s the only game in town. You’re his slut, sweetie, and he’s just too good to quit.”

Paige sighs afterward, a small frown forming on her lips as she regards her daughter’s teary-eyed attention. “I know it sucks, but it’s also true. I’ve struggled with addiction my entire life, and I can tell you directly, James is way too good to give up. So, my advice is to give up on giving up, because the harder you fight, the harder you’ll fail. End of story.”

Kendall quakes as her mother goes quiet. Staring back at her mother, feeling frail and powerless, she breaks down into tears. Every word felt like a jab straight to her heart, and she hates it because it is all true. Regardless of James’ worth as a person, his worth as a man was measured easily with eleven-and-a-half-inches of dick. Hatred and hurt don’t matter very much when she is stretched wrist thick, and that is the harshest, most hateful truth she will ever have to face.

Paige’s expression softens as Kendall begins crying, and the two embrace for the first time in a decade. “Oh, sweetie. It’s okay. Come here. It’s okay.” Paige holds Kendall as she cries, and Kendall accepts it stiffly before melting into her mother’s arms. Their soft bodies join, and Kendall weeps quietly into her mother’s shoulder as Paige smooths her hair. “I know it’s hard, baby, and it’s definitely not fair. But, really, it could be worse.”

Coughing and sniffling, Kendall stands straight and wipes her eyes. Her voice is still thick with sorrow as she asks, “How can it be worse, mom?”

“Well, you could be stuck fucking Jackson.” Paige smiles as Kendall breaks out into guilty laughter. It hurts to hear it out loud, but it is also true. As much as Kendall hates James, she still prefers him to the alternative now that she has had him. Each orgasm has made Jackson less and less appealing to her.

She shoves her mother gently while wiping her eyes. “Be nice,” she says, though she is smiling. “The cuck is a good man.”

“The cuck, huh?” Paige laughs and returns to shopping, walking more slowly and this time with Kendall at her side. “Well, he might be a good person, but I can tell you that he’s definitely not a good man. At least, not good enough compared to James.” Looking sideways, she catches her daughter chewing her cheek and nodding in agreement. “Anyway, my advice remains the same. Accept this for what it is and accept James for who he is, because after two years of trying, you have to realize that there is no changing him.”

Kendall draws a deep breath and holds it until she is done crying. Then, releasing it, she groans. “Ugh. Fine. I hate to say it, but I think you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” says Paige. “I’m your mother. Now come on. James will be tired of waiting.”

“Right,” Kendall says, and she finishes shopping with her mother. On the way, she reflects on how Paige is right. James is absolute terrible, but his dick makes him a terror which she can endure. For now, at least, she can focus on that alone and hopefully struggle her way through all the hate and disappointment to find something better on the other side.

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-KotoC.