Lots of them.

The doors bust open with a loud clang and the boys confidently march in wearing nothing but speedos. I have to tell you, if it weren’t for the fact that I’m about to sexily eat a banana in a **** attempt to avoid a fate worse than ****, I might be enjoying the show. I mean, damn. The boys swim team looks hot. But my admiration is cut short when I notice that MORE OF THEM ARE STILL COMING IN. Did she invite the entire fucking swim team? Pardon my language, I don’t usually curse, but seriously, what the hell?

There must be at least 15 guys in here about to watch our contest, and I’m struggling to control my inner conflict. Hot boys, risk of imminent **** by tickling... but hot boys! Risk of imminent **** by tickling. Okay, don’t judge me, I’m being perfectly reasonable considering the circumstances.

Look at the bright side, at least I don’t recognize any of them, right? Oh no. Did one of those guys just wink at me? He has sexy, blonde, wavy hair and dreamy blue eyes. Wait a minute. Is that...? Oh. My. God. Sean from English class? The boy I’m crushing on? Seriously?

Maybe he doesn’t recognize me. I close my eyes and pray to all that is holy, please don’t recognize me, please don’t recognize me, please don’t recognize me.

“Kelsi, is that you? You made the team? Far out!” Sean says.

Fuck. Okay, I know drop/add ended yesterday, but maybe it’s not too late to request a transfer, on account of the fact that I am going to die if I have to see Sean nearly every day for the rest of the year.

Unfortunately, I don’t have too much time to dwell on the politics of transferring classes. The Captain gets started on another one of her speeches.

“All right, ladies, it’s time to begin the amazing, the awesome, the astonishing and astounding, Sexy! Banana! Eating! Contest! Is everyone excited?”