Look

I push the sheets down past my knees, revealing my damp bush and slick thighs. The memory of where my panties are brings my hands to my wetness, gently stroking, a soft gasp escaping my lips. I’m so hot, so wet, so sensitive, my ecstasy is crying out for release. Derek kept me on edge all yesterday without ever letting me get all the way. It was all about him, giving myself to him, making him feel good. Now, it’s my turn, and knowing that I did all that, did offer myself to him, did make him feel good, tells me it won’t take long to find my long awaited climax.

My hands freeze at the sound of my Dad rattling some dishes in the kitchen, and my eyes go to the clock on my phone. Holy shit I haven’t slept this late in ages. More noise from outside my bedroom door, and I reluctantly move my hands away from my yearning pussy and climb out of bed with a sigh.

Standing in front of my closet, I feel nothing. I see the jeans and tshirts and sweatshirts, muted colors in blue and green and brown and grey, a wardrobe crafted over years of not wanting to stand out. Not wanting to be noticed. I remember Derek’s disappointed face yesterday morning, his admonishment of me not having something “cute” to wear. What even is cute on me? What do I want to look like? I thought I wanted to look like this, like nothing. But now something is different, something has changed, and this nothingness doesn’t feel like me anymore. I can’t bear the thought of Derek looking at me like that again. I want to look different, be different, but I don’t know how.

And it’s not like it matters anyway. The only person I’ll be seeing today is my Dad, and he doesn’t care what I look like.

So I make my way to the kitchen wearing my usual nothing, and I try to return my Dad’s cheerful smile. He seems awfully excited for a Sunday morning, so I give him a hug and ask him what’s up.

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” He gives me a tight squeeze and then serves me up a plate of curried potatoes. “Up for a little hike?”

I sit down at the table, my mouth watering. “A hike?” I munch and swallow a couple bites, too hungry to be polite. “Where?”

“Remember when we used to go hiking out in the rainforest?” He sits down across from me with his mostly empty mug of coffee.

I let out a long breath. “Yeah, of course. It’s been… god how long has it been?”

“Too long!” My Dad’s smile grows across his whole face. “I was thinking, you know, I got kind of jealous of you having your adventure on the peninsula yesterday, so I wanted one too! I’ve already got the van packed up, we can make a day of it, try to find that waterfall off the main trail we stumbled onto that one time. Do a campfire dinner, the works. What do you think?”

I’m taken aback, but the twinkle in my Dad’s eyes pulls me in, calms me down, takes me back to a simpler time. I already know what I think. That honestly sounds amazing. I’ve been missing my Dad a lot lately, even before all this… everything started happening. Having a day to get close to him again, doing something we both love so dearly, maybe that’s just what I need. Maybe this will help me find myself again, give me a chance to reset before the new week starts and I have to endure whatever hell school has in store for me.

Just as I’m about to return my Dad’s excitement with an enthusiastic yes, I feel my phone buzz. I’m confused as I pull it out of my pocket, forgetting in the moment how Derek stole my number last night. I didn’t put his name in my phone before passing out, so the sender is just a string of numbers, but the message leaves absolutely no doubt.

[I want you today. I’m picking you up in 5 minutes.]

In a daze, I feel my fingers type out a reply before I can even fully process what I’ve read.

[ok]

I look up into my Dad’s eyes and see the twinkle has faded, his smile gone from genuine to ****. “A friend?” The strain in his voice makes me wince.

“It’s, um…”

His smile is sad now. “Derek?”

“...yeah.”

He just nods and looks out the window. “Well, if you want to go be with him, be with him. I understand. I remember being young.” He looks back at me. “Don’t worry about your old Dad, I’ll be fine.”

Will he? Will I? Do I really want to go be with Derek right now? This is so sudden, he didn’t even ask, just told me what he wanted. What about what I want? I want to be in the forest with my Dad. I know my Dad, I love him, I trust him, I can be myself with him. I don’t have to hide. He’s never hurt me. Not like Derek.

My Dad can see the conflict on my face, and a little light comes back into his eyes. “So, what do you want to do?”

I’m about to open my mouth, about to respond, about to tell him I want to get away from Derek and be who I used to be again, and then my phone buzzes, and I look down and open the message without thinking, without feeling, and what I see sends my heart pounding and a deep flush into my cheeks and a powerful warmth between my legs. Two words, [good girl] and a picture, a picture of me, a picture of my face marked with his cum, mouth parted and eyes full of desire, desire for more, desire for him, and that desire is inside me now, surging, burning, leaving no room for anything else.

“Cass?”

I look up at my Dad, a tiny twinge of guilt failing to break through the pulsing warmth of my desire, and there’s a knock at the door. “I… I want to go with Derek.” I swallow. “I mean, Derek said he needs me for something. I mean…” Another knock, louder. “I’m gonna go.”

My Dad just nods. “Have fun, Cass. See you tonight.” He gives me a smile that doesn’t touch his eyes. “I’ll let you know how the rainforest was.”

That twinge of guilt is stronger, but so is the desire now. Derek is here, just on the other side of the door, I can see him I can be with him I can touch him again I just have to walk down the hall. My hand is on the doorknob the door is opening my face opens smiling shining oh it’s him he’s here he’s here to take me away again.

Derek sees me and immediately turns towards his car. “C’mon, let’s go.”

I hurry after him, my mind sinking into the pure excitement of seeing him, memories of yesterday making my skin tingle, that desire he put in me is shimmering, radiating from my body, making me want to reach out and feel him. I scramble into the car next to him, and snuggle up close as he starts the engine and pulls out of my driveway.

He doesn’t put his arm around me, but I hardly notice at first, I’m too overwhelmed by his warmth, his smell, how solid he feels under his clothes as I run my hands over his chest and nuzzle my face into his shoulder. I take a deep breath through my nose and swoon, god fucking damn I missed him. It’s just been a single night but I missed this so much. My lips find his neck and I’m kissing, kissing, licking, moaning his name.

And… nothing.

It’s like I’m not even there. I move my face away and look up into his. He’s glaring at the road, mouth tight, not even a sideways glance in my direction. Something twinges inside me, fear, a flash of memory from last night’s dream, the dark storm outside and the Sad coming to get me. Derek saved me, in the dream. Derek pulled me back from the edge, held me tight, told me it was all going to be okay. And now he’s ignoring me.

I can barely think, that little black drop of fear is spreading through me, making me feel so cold. I need Derek’s warmth, I need him to see me, touch me, save me. What does he want? What can I do to make him pay attention to me? I feel a reflexive loathing for myself, for being so plain, so boring, so ugly and forgettable. I have nothing to offer him, nothing at all, what could I possibly do to earn the attention of a boy like him?

Him. He’s so wonderful, so handsome, so gorgeous and beautiful and strong. Tell him, show him that I see him for what he is, let him know how much I worship him. Let him know I’m his. “You look so handsome today, Derek.” I feel a cringe of shame at my own plain appearance, like a dull rock next to a sparkling gem, but I push through it. “You’re always so handsome, I’m always so excited to see you. I can’t keep my eyes off you.”

Was there a response? I feel like maybe something shifted in his face, or maybe his muscles are a little less tense. Keep going, I need him to respond, need him to acknowledge I’m here before that fear inside can spread. “You feel so good, too.” My hands move over his arm, his chest, down into his lap, the hard heat I find there putting a tremor in my voice. “I love the way you feel, I love how strong you are. So solid and warm and… and…” my voice drops into a breathless whisper “...so powerful.”

There. There it is. I see it in his eyes, the angry glare replaced with a hunger, a need. I keep going. “I missed you Derek. I missed feeling you. I was dreaming about you Derek. Dreaming about… about…” my hand covers the pulsing length in his jeans and squeezes “...about touching you, pleasing you, being… being yours.”

I gasp as his green eyes flash away from the road and into mine, just for an instant, but more than long enough to capture me, consume me, take my heart and make it his. He finally speaks, the corner of his mouth curving upward. “You were dreaming about me, huh?” His arm finally wraps around my shoulders, holding me tight against him. “You wanted to see me that bad?”

My heart is pounding now, I’m melting against him, his arm around me filling my body with tingling warmth. “So bad, Derek. I hate being away from you.” I hear a little voice inside, reminding me that I wanted to be somewhere else today. That I wanted a chance to find who I am without Derek. That this isn’t what I really want. But the smell and feel of his body washes that voice away, and I stroke him through his jeans. “I just want to make you feel good.”

He chuckles at that. “Well you do feel awful good, Cassie.” His hand moves to yank my shirt up over my chest, and I let out a sharp gasp as he starts forcefully squeezing my breasts with his big, strong hand. “You’re still not looking quite cute enough for me, though. You’re mine now, and I want you to look as good as you feel.”

I can’t speak, my breaths coming hot and heavy as his rough hand mauls my soft body. There’s a twinge of despair at his words, a little blip of self hate for being too plain and unappealing for his taste, but then his hand slides over my belly down the front of my jeans and there’s no room in my mind left for anything but joy and ecstasy.

The rest of the car ride is spent with me squirming and squealing against him, my own efforts to touch and tease him overwhelmed by the delirious pleasure of his fingers moving over and inside my wet and welcoming pussy. He really does own me now, he can do whatever he wants with me and I’m just going to let him, let him and thank him and beg him for more.

My eyes have been closed for a while now as I’m lost in the blissful sensation of his touch. I notice when the car slows, stops, shuts off, but he’s not slowing down, he’s not stopping, so what do I care? He keeps going for a minute, and I’m imagining what remote place he’s taken us to, imagining what he’s going to do to me next, now that he has me all to himself, and I let out a pitiful whine as he slowly removes his hand from my damp panties. My eyes drift open, still hooded with desire, watching his gorgeous face as he smiles down at me and sucks my juices off his fingers. Then, out of the corner of my eye, movement, and I realize where we are.

I bolt upright, scrambling to pull my shirt down over my disheveled bra, my heart racing as I recognize the parking lot of the mall. It’s packed, with people walking all around, and my face flushes a deep crimson as I think about how long I was sitting there, panting and moaning with my shirt up and Derek’s hand working inside my jeans. “D-Derek… what… why…”

“I said I want you to look good, butterfly.” He presses his lips against mine, pushing his tongue into my mouth, making me taste myself on him, making me moan in bliss. He ends the kiss just as abruptly as he started it. “So I’m gonna buy you some clothes. C’mon.”

He’s out of the car, and I can’t help but follow him. I hustle to catch up with him as he walks towards the entrance, and I let out a gasp as he grabs my hand. He slips his fingers through mine, like we’re a couple, like I belong to him, and I feel my cheeks glow red. We’re miles from home, but this is the only real mall on the peninsula, so people from our little town come here all the time. What if someone sees us? What if Mina sees us?

My heart is pounding as we stroll together down the main concourse, but it’s not just the fear of being seen. There’s the knowledge that I am being seen, with him. There’s plenty of teenage couples walking hand-in-hand through the mall, but none of the boys can hold a candle to Derek. And I can see the girls noticing that, and noticing me.

All of them, every girl I see is dressed so pretty, so cute, so fashionable and cool. It’s like I’m an entirely different species from them. I get a crawling sensation on my skin as I realize I’m doing something I instinctively avoid, standing out. I’ve never looked like that in my life, but Derek wants me to look like that. He’s going to make me look like that. He’s going to turn me into a pretty girl. His pretty girl.

He pulls me into a JCPenney, straight to the women’s section. He starts looking through the tops, skirts, dresses, and my breath grows short at how small they all are. How revealing. Cuts and colors I would never even dream about for myself. He grabs a few items off the racks and lets me carry them as he leads me to the dressing room.

The girl who lets us in starts to object when Derek comes with me, but then he does something, something with his eyes, something with his body, all of a sudden he looks so big and fierce and unstoppable and I hear her voice die in her throat. A shiver runs from my scalp all the way to the tips of my toes as she moves aside to let him in, and she gives me a little look that I can’t decipher. Is she jealous? Jealous that I get to be alone and undressed with this incredible specimen of a boy? I can barely believe it myself. The door clicks closed, and Derek sits on the little bench, leaning back, a hungry look in his eyes and that sharp smile gracing his lips. “Alright then, butterfly. Let me see how you look.”

I don’t waste any time. A brief flash in my mind wonders at how eager I am, but as I strip out of my tshirt and jeans that thought fizzles out against the thrill of revealing myself to him. I grab the first thing I can reach, a little blue dress, and pull it over my head. Looking at myself in the mirror, my breath catches in my throat. The dress barely goes halfway down my thighs, it clings to my torso, shows my freckled shoulders, makes me look like a girl from a magazine. I can’t stop staring at myself, what I’m seeing doesn’t make sense, and then, behind me, I see Derek in the mirror, looking at me, his eyes moving over my body, a smile on his face and one hand casually stroking his bulge, and it all snaps into place. I look like Derek’s girl.

And that is everything I want to be.

I try another dress, an even shorter, tighter pink one. This time I really make a show of putting it on, moving my body in it, making sure Derek sees me, sees how good I feel looking like this for him, see his girl’s body on display. Then a tight pair of cutoff jean shorts and a white spaghetti strap tank. I pause for a moment, then pull down the tank, take off my bra, and put the tank back up. Yes, just like I thought, my stiff brown nipples are clearly visible through the thin fabric. Oh my god. What am I doing? Am I really going to walk around looking like this?

Derek stands up and puts his arms around me, pulling me close. “You like looking like this, butterfly?” He moves his hands over me, stroking my bare legs, grabbing my hips, squeezing my soft breasts, teasing my nipples. “You like looking like my sexy little trophy?”

Oh fuck. My knees wobble a bit, the thought of belonging to him, being an object for him to claim and use and display, fills my body with delicious warm tingles, fills my mind with soft sweet fluff. “Y-yeah, Derek.” My voice is quiet but clear. I can’t take my eyes off the image of us together. “I like it. I like being yours.”

He turns me around so I’m facing him, and I drape myself over him, hands moving over the magnificent expanse of his chest. I look up into his gorgeous face, but he’s still looking at the mirror, so I look back over my shoulder to see what he’s seeing. I look like the other girls, now. I look like a cute sexy mall girl, but Derek is so much more than any boy I’ve ever seen. And I’m all his. This girl in the tiny top and tight shorts draped all over this stunning hunk of male perfection is me. This is what I look like now. This is what I am.

And it’s all thanks to him. I can’t help myself anymore. My hands stroke him more firmly. I turn away from the mirror and kiss his neck, his chest, my hands moving down to feel him through his jeans, and now I’m sinking lower, hands working to free him, reveal him, just in time for it to be right in front of my face, hard and hot and dripping and consuming every ounce of my attention. My mouth opens and my eyes look up into his as I take him inside, taste his perfection, moan around his cock. I’m sucking Derek’s cock in a mall changing room like it’s the most natural thing in the world. My clit is buzzing and I’m taking him deeper and deeper and I feel his hands on my head gripping my hair. He’s not looking at me anymore he’s looking in the mirror, watching, watching as the girl he conquered and dressed to his desires bobs and moans and drools all over his dick.

I feel his cock twitch, and the heat between my legs flares in anticipation, and then his hands are gripping my hair pulling me off him and I’m gasping, spit shining on my lips and chin, my eyes looking up at him with a question.

He strokes my hair and smiles at me. “Good girl.” He takes one hand and slowly strokes his length against my cheek. “But I have a plan for that load. Let’s get out of here so I can show you.”