Light - FIFTH YEAR - The Sheriff and the Outlaws

Completing the H.B.C.C. Gaunt-let unlocked broom closet fast travel!

You kept this special ability to hop between empty broom closets a secret so you could use it in a pinch. It kept you one step ahead of the prefects when you were doing your duty as snog club president. Aside from you and Katie, there was only one other person who was fully aware of your special broom closet travel ability. The infamous Sheriff of Hogwarts, who spent the first two terms trying to catch you and your queen out after curfew doing things she deemed ‘inappropriate’ for school.

Katie giggled as you pressed the KK to shrink your plate-sized badge back to palm-size and tucked it away, “~That’s a clean getaway. Guess the score will be thirteen - zero when they finally figure it out.~”

“Speaking of clean,” you said as you drew your wand, “Evanesco!” You cast the Vanishing Spell on each of you to remove the accumulated sweat and other fluids. You’d gotten particularly good at vanishing liquids from your years swimming. Next, you pointed your wand at Katie’s throat, turned it like a dial, and flicked it up twice, “Octavus!”

“Thanks,” Katie rasped as her voice returned to its normal higher octave, but remained hoarse from all the shouting.

“I’ve got a remedy for that,” you announced as you went to your school bag. which had been transported to the new broom closet with you, along with Katie’s bag and your robes; the entire closet = and all its contents - was swapped when you used broom closet fast travel. You retrieved your wooden box of a dozen pre-brewed potions and cradled it in the crook of your arm as you lifted the lid.

Katie hadn’t remained idle, the sixth year drew her own wand to charm her ‘freshly shagged’ hair back into her usual neat ponytail, then cast another charm to straighten her ruffled uniform. She pointed her wand at you and gave you the same straightening treatment.

“This tonic will cure a sore throat,” you stated as you handed her a vial containing a blue potion with bubbles in it. She drank it without hesitation, trusting your Potions expertise implicitly.

“Oooh… yeah, that does feel better,” Katie noted, her voice no longer hoarse and raspy. “Haa! HAA! Huuaaaahh!”

You replaced the empty vial in your case and retrieved the pearlescent Colour Change Cure that was situated at the end beside a clear, salty Colour Change Potion. “Colour cure.”

“Bleh,” Katie grimaced as she took it, “This one always tastes like I’m drinking soap… or washing liquid.”

“It could be worse,” you reasoned, “It could taste like paint remover. You use soap to clean your skin, so it tracks.” The gold tint faded and left her skin at its normal pale shade with a faint tan. You placed the empty vial back in your case, then pulled out a pink potion. “I know you already took one at the start of the month… but we’re almost at the end of the month and Granny McGongall made a point to recommend taking one. Better safe than sorry.”

“Don’t call her that!” Katie complained before she drank the pink potion, then sighed in relief, “Ah! There’s the benefit of dating the school Potions prodigy. Now if toadface goes to the Hospital Wing and orders Madam Pomfrey to break healer confidentiality and report anyone who comes for birth control, we won’t be on the list and we’ll be in the clear.”

“It seemed necessary after I left you that gift,” you said.

“I see it as taking part of you to class with me,” Kinky Katie commented and smiled cutely.

You smiled back, then removed an orange potion from your case, “Last one: an Invigoration Draught. I’ll split it with you. That way we don’t look overly tired and like we spent half of lunch shagging when we get to class.”

“Brilliant!” Katie cheered as she drank half the draught, then passed it back to you so you could drink the rest. You felt the customary surge of energy flow through you and knew your potion had done its work.

“Done with this,” you resolved as you replaced the empty vial and shut the lid on your potions box. You stowed it back in your school bag while Katie rummaged through her own and pulled out a glass bottle of perfume.

“Now it’s time for my coverup potion!” she announced before she sprayed herself with a generous helping of her signature apple cinnamon scent, then turned the perfume bottle on you and gave you a quick spritz. It was far from unusual for you to be covered in your girlfriend’s signature scent.

“All set then,” you concluded as you picked up her Gryffindor robe and passed it to her, then donned yours. “Herbology first on Monday’s after lunch, right? Want me to drop you off at the broomshed? We could use that as our alibi if anyone asks us why we weren’t in the crowd of gawkers and say we were out flying.”

“That won’t hold up if anyone asks around,” Katie pointed out, “No one actually saw us skipping lunch to fly out on the grounds. If our goal is to establish an alibi, why don’t you bring me to my common room? We’ll say we started off up on the seventh floor, heard the commotion like everyone else, watched for a bit, then decided to use the distraction to have our own fun in my dorm. That way, the Fat Lady will see us leaving together, and I can walk by Umbridge, Parkinson, Malfoy, and the rest on my way down to Herbology, so they’ll see for themselves that I’m not in the closet they’re guarding.”

“Works for me,” you agreed, “I’ve got Divination first in the afternoon, and starting from the seventh floor will put me closer to the top of the North Tower. Maybe I could make a show of scrying for the identity of the couple in that empty closet? Professor Trelawney has become extra fond of me after I saved her from getting sacked.”

“Sure, you do that,” Katie agreed with a roll of her eyes. You knew she wasn’t fond of Divination or the professor who taught it, but still cheered when she heard that your charlatan show helped Professor Trelawney pass Umbridge’s High Inquisitor inspection.

You pulled your badge out from your jumper, pressed the KK to expand it into a wheel, and selected the purple rare dot at two o’ clock. The walls of the four-by-four dragon closet closed in around you and lodged Katie against your side… your closet MOVED… and then the walls expanded back out, leaving you standing in the broom closet occupying the corner of the Gryffindor common room.

The two of you stepped out and immediately stopped in your tracks. Sitting in a plush, red armchair - which she intentionally turned away from the fireplace to face the broom closet - was Sheriff Hermione Granger - the infamous, uptight, rule-abiding (when it suited her) Gryffindor Prefect.

“Well, hey there, Sheriff!” the outlaw Katie Bell of Gryffindor boldly stepped forward to greet the prefect who spent the first two terms doggedly pursuing you in an effort to catch you snogging (or more) in a broom closet. This same ‘rule abiding’ prefect blatantly defied newly created Ministry Educational Decrees to form an illegal Defense Against the Dark Arts study group, so you knew she mainly chased you out of principle, for the challenge of it, and because you usually tried to avoid her nowadays.

The chase went along with your sacred duty as the snog club president, because if the already infamous Prefect Hermione Granger was spending her patrols chasing you… that meant other couples - who she would normally be harassing by bursting in on them mid-snog with reprimand ready on her tongue - could snog in peace. This was something you were more than capable of doing with your presidential perk to scan for occupied broom closets and your royal power to fast travel between the empty ones.

Granger had her own tricks to keep things interesting. Chief among them was a magical map that allowed her to track people within the castle and surrounding grounds.

Your partner-in-crime, Kissing Queen Katie threw herself into the role of broom closet outlaw with an almost disturbing level of enthusiasm. She dubbed herself the ‘Robyn Hood’ of Hogwarts, Princess of Snoggers, and Champion of Love. This made you ‘Maid Marion’ or Maid Marvolo by proxy, which you endured in good humor. Your girlfriend’s first reason was because Robin Hood and Katie Bell had the same number of letters. But the second - more important - reason was that Katie hailed from Nottingham England and lived in the secret wizard community hidden within Sherwood Forest. She was so adorably ecstatic to be living the role of her local English legend that you couldn’t dream of taking it away from her.

But sometimes the rise of a hero unintentionally causes the creation of a villain. And unfortunately for the over-achieving, rule enforcing prefect Hermione Granger… the hormonal teenagers residing in Hogwarts were SUPPORTIVE of the rule breaking outlaw Katie Hood. And thus, the prefect who most frequently pursued her and her love interest was dubbed as the villainous Sheriff of Wartyham. It REALLY stuck in Granger’s craw that the snoggers compared her to the High Inquisitor as an overly controlling villain out to ruin everyone’s good time.

The affronted prefect tore into you one night in December when you were on patrol together. Normally, you weren’t paired together, but she called in a favor to make the shift switch. She then proceeded to spend the better part of an hour berating and lecturing you on your hypocrisy. “Don’t you have an ounce of integrity!?” “How could they give the worst offender a prefect badge!? It’s akin to letting Lucius Malfoy guard Azkaban! Just because he hasn’t been caught, doesn’t make him better than any other **** Eater locked in there!” “What kind of role model are you being for the impressionable first years in your care? You’re the most irresponsible prefect I’ve ever seen!” “You’re worse than Ronald!”

You took it, let her vent. It was O.W.L. year and she was under an immense amount of stress with Umbridge torturing her best friend and running an unsanctioned, illegal club right under the toad’s nose. But then you responded by fishing your D. A. coin out of your pocket, smiling, and saying, “It’s a matter of perspective, really. Did you know our badges make a different kind of a noise when the inappropriate contact isn’t consensual?” She didn’t. “You should know by now that intent is the major contributing factor to most magic. I may be Sir Snogs-a-Lot, but I can assure you if someone somewhere was acting with malicious intent and was sexually assaulting someone else within the castle grounds… our badges would be making an entirely different sort of noise, and I would be across the school putting a stop to it faster than you could pull your magic map out.”

She frowned, but didn’t say anything for the rest of the patrol. You counted it as a victory. Another one of those rare instances where you rendered Hermione Granger speechless.

Now, Sheriff Granger was smiling and looked exceptionally pleased with herself in correctly predicting which closet you and Katie would pop out of. You spotted the folded bit of blank parchment that had been hastily tucked away in her robe and recognised it as her magical map. It was technically Harry’s, but she’d been borrowing it a lot.

You were reasonably sure she would have been having lunch in the Great Hall with everyone else when your ‘performance’ started. But it seemed that while the other prefects crowded together at the bottom of the staircase, and Umbridge was repeatedly failing to extract you from the inaccessible Legendary broom closet, Hermione Granger was much more used to your methods and made her way up to Gryffindor Tower to head you off when you eventually made your escape.

“You two have a pattern,” the know-it-all couldn’t help giving a gloating lecture at having finally caught you, “When you’re doing something indecent, you do it in one of the hard-to-reach closets… when someone gets close, you retreat to a distant closet to regroup and redress…” Katie once left her knickers for the sheriff to find. “And then, you’ll try to make a clean getaway and skip to the available closets closest to the common rooms so you can pretend you were always where you were supposed to be. Considering the common rooms are practically empty during lunch, and knowing what you were doing pressed together against the closet walls… I hoped you’d at least be gentleman enough to escort her back to her dorm to freshen up.”

“Hey!” Katie protested, “How do you know I didn’t score and was bringing my bag back to my dorm?”

“Oh yes, it is a distinct honor to be Beautiful Belle’s bag,” you stated as you leaned back against the closet door. “So what happens now? Are you going to turn us in… sheriff?”

Sheriff Granger frowned, “To who? Her? I’d rather leave you animals to fornicate in closets all across the castle than help that foul woman!”

“Most people just say ‘shag’,” Bell chimed in, evoking a Granger glare. “Between organising an illegal study group and turning a blind eye to our criminal activity… it sounds like this is Prefect Granger’s rebel year!”

For years, Hermione Granger was seen by the general populace as a studious, stickler for the rules. No one was surprised when she was made Gryffindor prefect. But you knew her better than the general populace. This was the girl who - as a first year - set a professor on fire during her first Quidditch match and followed it up by smuggling a dragon out of the castle the next term. The next year, she outdid herself by brewing an illegal Polyjuice potion in a bathroom, drugging two of your housemates, and impersonating your girlfriend so she and her co-conspirators could infiltrate the Slytherin common room and question you and Malfoy about the Heir of Slytherin.

And then there was third year. You felt a flash of guilt as your eyes flicked up to her forehead, then quickly averted your gaze.

The point was: when it came to helping someone she cared about and doing what she thought was right… there was no rule, law, decree, or regulation that a fully motivated Hermione Granger wouldn’t break.

“Well, if you’re going to blatantly break the rules and defy the toadmaster…” Katie prompted, “Maybe you’d like to take things a step further?” She smiled at her ‘rival’, “Thursday’s my birthday, Granger.”

Granger interrupted before Katie could properly extend whatever offer she was making, “Did you do this today so the alarms would be louder from you both being underage?”

“There wouldn’t be a difference,” you corrected, “The intent and the action is still the key. It’s the same volume when it’s a newly-of-age, nineteen-year-old witch or wizard with their underage, eighteen-year-old partner as it was when we’re both eighteen. The whole school just learned that what influences the volume is the act those two indecent students are performing.”

“As I was saying!” Katie called the conversation back to her, “We’ll be celebrating in the Prefect’s Bath. The girls’ bath. This time, we’ll be bringing potions to avoid setting off the prefect alerts. You could join us if you’d like…” Hermione’s eyes went wide at the invitation while Katie’s smile became an impish grin, “…but you’ll have to match our dress code. It’s a birthday bath… so we’ll be wearing our birthday suits!”

Granger’s face went pink, “You want me to get naked and take a bath with you?”

“Do you wear clothes to take a bath?”

“In that one I always wear a swim costume!”

“Then this time you won’t!” Katie grinned at her.

Granger shook her head. “For your birthday… I’ll turn a blind eye again. You’re both of age in the muggle world and as long as you’re taking precautions not to set off any alarms… or get pregnant… you shouldn’t be disturbed. But even if I wanted to attend…” she looked past Katie at you, “he wouldn’t want me there.”

Another flare of guilt and your eyes were drawn to her forehead where you saw the cursed burn scar peeking out from her bangs. You’d done irreparable damage and the scar going across Granger’s forehead stood as an unpleasant reminder of what happened when the two of you got too close. The throbbing pang in your chest from an old wound reminded you of what you both lost. It was why you’d done your best to avoid her since then… and why she resorted to calling in a favor to patrol with you and give you that lecture last December.

“Doesn’t matter!” Katie announced. Your girlfriend knew what happened. You’d confessed the whole story to her down in the Chamber of Secrets. The Chaser stepped in the way and blocked your gaze, cutting off your view of the permanent scar you were responsible for. “It’s my birthday, my party, my rules! I’m personally inviting you! You are my birthday present… and all you have to do is unwrap yourself, relax, and maybe have a little fun.”

Bell turned and smiled back at you, “If a Gryffindor Chaser and a Slyterin Keeper can come together and make something magical… then maybe I can bury the hatchet with my bookish, majorly prudish housemate? And at the same time… you two can sort out your business.”

Forcing you and Hermione to reconcile... was that the Chaser’s game?

“Majorly prudish?” While you caught the last part, the bookworm was stuck on the part that preceded it.

“As in, not completely prudish,” the athlete amended as she turned sideways so you could see Granger again. “I know you’re holding out on us! I heard a rumor that when you vacationed in France two summers ago and came back extra brown, that you went to a nude beach!”

“I DID NOT!” Hermione exclaimed as her red face got darker.

“It was La Plage Naturiste,” you corrected, “A clothing-optional beach in Cap d’Agde. Her mother brought her thinking they’d be able to bond and reconnect after spending the better part of two years apart. She thought bringing her socially awkward, blossoming, teenage daughter to the family-friendly area would help her gain some confidence. But when the younger Granger translated the first french sign and realised where they were… she adamantly protested, and refused to leave the car. They left without setting foot on the sand.”

Granger stared at you with wide eyes. You felt your gut twist, knowing she didn’t remember telling you about the incident. Then she glared at you when she realised; if Katie heard a rumor about her going to a nude beach… someone must have spread it. Red faced and furious, she demanded, “Did you tell people!?”

“No,” you insisted, “It’s your story and you told me in confidence. It seems relevant now.” You raised your right hand as if taking an oath, “This is the first I’ve spoken of it.”

“And the first I’ve heard of it,” Katie added, “The proper story, anyway. I didn’t know he knew it.”

Hermione’s face screwed up as she mentally recounted the people she did remember telling. It was a short list and she soon hissed, “Ginny!”

“Gingersnap mentioned it in the changing room after practice back in February,” Katie confessed, “In her defense, she was defending you. I was venting about the prudish prefect who’d been hounding me all term because she’s not getting any… and she responded, ‘She’s not that stuffy! She went to a nude beach once!’” Rather than reassure her, Hermione’s eyes went wide in a panic, the Chaser swiftly swept in again and intercepted her panic attack. Witch’s intuition told her what the problem was, “RON WASN’T THERE! You’d have heard about it already if he was!” That did the trick, and the prefect let out a long breath. “Neither were Jack and Andrew.” Granger didn’t seem as concerned about the new Beaters hearing about her embarrassing beach incident. Being heckled by Ron Weasley about chickening out was her pressing fear. “I waited until the boys were all gone and was venting to Angie and Leesh since they know most of what I get up to. I didn’t realise our new Seeker was still in the room. Don’t be too hard on her. She was new to the team, nervous about being the replacement for the Harry Potter, and wanted to both defend her friend and say something cool to impress three older girls.“

Katie made it clear that ‘bathtime with Hermione Granger’ was what she wanted for her birthday. That was another great thing about dating a Gryffindor girl. You didn’t have to guess or dig to learn what she wanted… the bold witches of Godric’s house outright told you. She went along with your scheme to humiliate the headmaster… and, awkward as it would be, you were obligated and duty bound to help her achieve her Granger goal.

“Forget it, love,” you advised, “She won’t go for it. That’s the reason I shared the secret beach story. Granger’s Gryffindor courage will compel her to defy the Ministry, **** Eaters, even a resurrected Dark Lord, and run a secret Defense study group to combat all of them. But being seen starkers is something she can’t handle.”

Granger glared again. If there was one thing she hated - besides Dolores Umbridge - it was being told she couldn’t do something.

Katie perched on the arm of Hermione’s chair and faced you as a show of Gryffindor ‘solidarity’. “Knowing you, you’re more tempted to do it now just to prove him wrong.” She leaned closer and nudged Granger’s arm, “C’mon, Hermione, you’re eighteen. And if you pluck up your Gryffindor courage and come to our naked bath party… he’ll be naked too.” Katie’s impish grin was back as she leaned closer, and so was Hermione’s bright red blush, “It’s meant to be a fun time, so I plan to use a bunch of bubbles. But if you’re curious… and you want to see it… all you’d have to do is dunk your head underwater.” The Chaser’s teasing had the academic overachiever’s face as red as a Quaffle, but she still kept flying unhindered, determined to score. “That special snake exceeds expectations. And if we stick two naked girls in the tub with him… we could get it to grow to be outstanding.”

Highly embarrassed and backed into a corner, the Gryffindor prefect lashed out defensively, and shoved Katie off her armchair, “Don’t make a mockery of the O.W.L. marks!”

Katie stumbled from the unexpected shove, but regained her balance, then rolled her eyes and scoffed, “One of them stands for Troll! You take your marks way too seriously.”

“AND YOU DON’T TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY ENOUGH!” the worked-up bookworm shouted as she shot from her seat and rounded on your girlfriend, “Voldemort is back! The Ministry wants us to be ill-equipped and uninformed! PEOPLE! ARE! DYING!”

The bossy bookworm was used to browbeating Harry, Ron, and Neville into studying… you knew it was how she showed she cared. Sharing her scholarly study skills and helping her closest friends get high marks was the greatest gift she could give them. And with the Dark Lord’s return, the knowledge they gained to achieve those high marks could save her friends’ lives.

But Bottom Bell wasn’t willing to lie back and take it (this time)… she switched (as was her specialty) and struck back like a Top Bitch. “YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT!?” She snapped, causing Hermeione to flinch back, “Unlike you, WE went to Cedric’s funeral! HE WAS A FRIEND OF MINE! I watched his mother break down in tears, his father bawl his eyes out, and Cho shatter into a thousand pieces! Who do you think helped her work through her grief and put her back together again!? IT WAS US! WE KIDNAPPED HER FOR A TWO-WEEK HOLIDAY AND I LENT HER MY BOYFRIEND!”

That last bit caught Granger’s attention, she blinked in equal parts shock, confusion, and curiosity, “You did?”

“Not that day,” you once again felt the need to clear the confusion, “It was a week later. Luna reported that Cho was still depressed and spending all day crying in bed. Cedric told us to look after her. The three of us went to her house, her mother let us in, and we trooped up to her room, and since she wouldn’t get out of bed… I bundled her up in the blankets and carried her out the front door to Katie’s car.”

Granger blinked again, “You drive?”

“My dad helped me apply,” Katie confirmed, “The same summer you ran away from that nude beach, I got my provisional driving license. Last summer, I got my full driving license! How’s that for a passing mark? Now I have a British government ID that says I’m of legal age! It doesn’t mean anything here, but I can drive on the motorways so we could take a therapeutic driving holiday.”

“Where’d you go?” Hermione couldn’t help asking.

“Not my department,” Katie said, “It was an adventure. For me, the thrill was in not knowing and finding out when we got there. My focus was on driving, keeping the petrol tank from running empty, and my co-pilot. I had a Slytherin and two Ravenclaws to figure out the rest.”

”My focus was on practical necessities: food, lodging, supplies,” you recounted, “Oh, and on comforting Cho. Our first stop was a shopping center since she was stuck in her night clothes. But she was still miffed about being ****. She pulled a Granger and refused to leave the car, so Luna suggested that if Cho didn’t want to change clothes, the three of us should buy new night clothes and wear them to match her. We left Cho in the car with Scarlet, bought new pajamas, and spent the rest of the day driving in them. They were comfortable.”

“Wait, who’s Scarlet?”

“My dog,” Katie answered, “My co-pilot. I wasn’t going to leave her home. Dogs aren’t on the approved pet list, so I barely see her enough as it is. She had her job too. She sensed Cho was hurting and spent most of the trip curled up on her lap. And once Cho calmed down and realised she was among friends and that we were trying to help her… she slid over and sat against Marvolo’s side. The three of them looked very cozy in the back.”

You grinned, “And since I was occupied in the back with Cho and Scarlet… we mostly let Luna navigate.”

“And you made it back!?” The logical Gryffindor couldn’t help questioning the navigational capabilities of the spacey Ravenclaw.

“Luna really came through for us there,” Katie insisted, “She had camping experience from the creature expeditions she does with her father. And she brought along her magical tent. There was loads of stuff still in there.”

“She was a fair navigator too,” you added, “She picked a number of parks, lakes, forests, and pastures, which she claimed were ideal locations to search for one of her creatures. But I noticed a pattern: the places she picked were all peaceful, secluded, and scenic. I don’t pretend to be well-versed with Quibbler creatures, but I’m pretty sure she ran out at one point and started making them up. Cho served as a good litmus test. She’s more familiar with Luna’s odd menagerie than I am… and she’d crinkle her nose whenever Luna mentioned one she didn’t recognise.”

“We stayed in a pet-friendly hotel and made use of their plumbing when we got extra ripe,” Katie continued, “But we mainly slept in the tent like a band of unwashed hippies. There were multiple rooms, but a lot of the time it’d be the four of us and Scarlet all in the same bed for a group cuddle.” Her tone turned serious, “It was one of those nights when I had my realisation: we’re living in dark times… and the only way we’re going to get through them… is by coming together.”

Hermione nodded, but then her eyes narrowed, “Wait… do you mean that figuratively or literally?”

The older Gryffindor gave her a gaudy grin, “BOTH! Because sharing my boyfriend with Cho for a two-week holiday was just what she needed. We removed her from society, surrounded her with friends, and gave her a chance to grieve, process, and talk about things.”

“She called me Cedric a few times,” you confessed, “That wasn’t exactly pleasant. Sometimes she’d want to avoid talking. Katie would take Luna and Scarlet for a walk and leave us alone, and we’d just stare out at the scenery together until she was ready to say something.”

”Cho may be in my year, but we weren’t exactly best of friends before our trip,” Katie admitted, “We were when we came back. That’s why I do what I do… the Katie Hood, Champion of Love thing. The comfort a couple can find in a broom closet is special. And people need that now more than ever. For some, a good snog is a distraction from their troubles. For others, it’s a way to relax, loosen up, and de-stress.” She gave Granger a pointed look for that one. “For me… it’s where I found love.” She looked back at you, brown eyes dancing with passion. “And if you’re foolish enough to doubt the power of love because you haven’t yet experienced it for yourself… feast your eyes on this!” Katie stepped back and drew her wand, standing midway between the two of you. The bold witch held her English oak wand with both hands and cast her spell, “Expecto Patronum!”

A glowing white Finnish spitz burst from Katie’s wand and bounded around the common room.

You grinned and knelt down, “Hey, Scarlet!” The pointy-eared, bushy-tailed, fox-like dog known for its red coat dashed up to you as you brushed her head and felt the warm, light magic flooded with Katie’s positive emotions.

“That’s the most powerful spell I can cast,” Katie admitted as she watched you pet her dog. “Thanks to Harry’s lessons, and some extra advice from this one on Heart Magic… I managed it. I just think of how happy Marvolo makes me… and the feelings of warmth, comfort, acceptance, and adoration that I get when I’m with him… and that makes me think anything is possible! And I want that for other people too. Things are going to get worse before they get better, but holding each other close and loving each other is how we’re going to get through the coming darkness.”

You smiled and fell in love with that girl all over again. Scarlet licked your cheek and you felt the sensation of a warm kiss as Katie’s Patronus vanished.

“O.W.L. exams are right around the corner,” the sixth year reminded you, “They were rough for me, but I know you two are going to drive yourselves spare with intensive studying. Maybe before that, you can take some time to relax and clear your heads. A nice, warm, fun bath could do the trick! Don’t do it for us… do it for yourself! Prove you’re not that same scared fifteen-year-old girl who ran away from that nude beach three years ago… now you’re a brave, eighteen-year-old young woman who’s ready to take on the world!”

You smiled and followed up with a quote from the Bard that she might appreciate, “~It is held that valor is the chiefest virtue, and most dignifies the haver.~”

Her brows furrowed in that cute way they did when she was attempting to recall something she read long ago, “Coriolanus?” You smiled.

“Ooo-hoo!” Katie was quick to tease you both, “look at him flirting and quoting Shakespeare.” She hadn’t recognised the quote like Hermione had, but rather the familiar iambic tone you used when you referenced the Bard’s writing. Her teasing was enough to turn Granger’s cheeks pink.

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s as close to a ‘yes’ as we’re going to get,” you advised your girlfriend.

Katie pointed her wand at Hermione and gestured with it, “Thursday night. Prefects’ bath. Eight o’ clock. Eight-fifteen if you’re really nervous. But I’m told a good trick for presenting before an audience is to picture the audience naked. With the party dress code, we’ll make that really easy for you!”

Hermione shook her head, her cheeks still flushed a bright pink. “You two really are shameless.”

“Depends who we’re with,” Bell chimed, “We won’t **** you to do anything you don’t want to do. That would be shameful for a Noble Knight and a Champion of Love.”

“I think it’s time we got to class,” you concluded as you tossed Katie her school bag. The Chaser easily caught it and tucked it under her arm, while you reshouldered yours. “Granger, the headmaster said anyone who isn’t in class will be expelled. And since you don’t take Divination like the rest of your Gryffindor yearmates, you’re expected to report to Madam Pince in the library. No one would believe it was you in that closet, but after her embarrassing defeat, Umbridge is vindictive enough to use you as a scapegoat and punish you for something you didn’t do.”

She nodded and began gathering her things.

“And if anyone asks!” Katie called back as you headed for the portrait hole, “You caught us together on my bed up in my dorm!”

You exited and were spotted by the Gryffindor guardian. “Katie Bell and Marvolo Gaunt. I don’t recall admitting you.”

“Good afternoon, Lady Fantasia.” You felt that calling her the Fat Lady was demeaning and since she wouldn’t give you her name, you came up with one that sounded respectful while also still containing all the previous letters. “There are benefits to dating a Gryffindor Quidditch player. Chief among them: broomsticks and tower windows.”

Katie smiled and continued, “We thought we’d take advantage of the commotion in the stairwell, and the headmaster’s inability to contain it, and spend some quality time together.”

“Ah, and that ‘quality time’ would be why Miss. Granger came marching through in a huff,” Lady Fantasia mused.

“She caught us on my bed,” Katie ‘confessed’, “Gave us a lecture on being shameless and irresponsible. It was so effective that we’re rushing off to class!”

“Knowing what I’ve heard of you two… I doubt it.” For a portrait, she really was such a gossip. “Best hurry then!”

The two of you dashed down the tower stairs, and you brought up Katie’s spontaneous party invitation. “Who else is coming to this bath party of yours? Or is it meant to be just the three of us?”

“You should definitely invite Chell,” Katie composed her guest list on the spot, “If you want to catch a fish, then you need good bait. And if we want to get Granger in the water instead of standing awkwardly beside it… then we should dangle the prospect of an educational conversation with a mermaid in front of her. Oh, and invite Myrtle too. That peeping pervert’s gonna be watching anyway. We might as well extend her an official invitation so she doesn’t get upset and flood the place.”

“Any other living humans?” you inquired.

“Leanne would be too scared to get naked in a group setting,” Katie mused, “But Hermione wouldn’t be too surprised to see Cho after learning of our adventure together.” She grinned at you, “Would Millicent be willing to strip off? She’s got a great rack. Maybe we’ll have them come at nine so we can coax one shy girl into the water at a time.”

“I’ll ask her in Divination,” you replied. “And if we’re gonna be there for hours, I’ll need to brew a large batch of my aging potion. It’ll be a major time sink, but I have plenty of advance notice to manage it.” Sharing that particular potion with Hermione Granger would also be more than a little awkward. Her barging in and insisting on helping you create it was what led to her ‘accident’.

“Don’t act like it’s a pain, Mr. Gets-to-be-in-a-bath-with-a-coven-of-naked-witches,” Katie teased you. “And this time, at least I won’t need any of your special potion! Just bring multiple doses for you, Hermione, and Millicent.”

Discussion of Katie’s party tapered off as you encountered other Gryffindors running up the stairs to retrieve their materials for their afternoon classes. Most students had most likely returned to the Great Hall to finish their interrupted lunch and gossip about the closet couple’s rebellious performance. If these were the first students to reach the tower from the ground floor, then your conversation with Granger hadn’t gone on that long.

“WHAAAH” You reached the seventh floor landing where Gryffinor tower connected to the upper floors of the school, but suddenly Katie was grabbed from behind and yanked back behind the doorway.

“Hello, Spinnet,” you greeted the shorter, somewhat stockier, dark-haired, tanned-skinned seventh year holding your taller, leaner, much paler, blonde girlfriend from behind.

Sharp, dark eyes studied you with the same intense scrutiny as when she took a penalty shot. “Surprised to see you two out and about.”

“What makes you say that?” Katie asked, not bothering to extract herself from her teammate’s grasp. “We were up in my dorm room. Granger deduced that we were using the closet couple as a distraction and caught us on my bed.”

“I’ll pass that on to anyone who asks,” Alicia agreed, her eyes still locked on you, her voice soft but firm. “But I’ve felt your boyfriend’s tongue. And I’ve heard the noises you make when you fool around. You may have borrowed Angie’s voice… but the familiar exclamations rang in my ears like a Bell.”

“Was Angie mad?” Katie asked, no longer bothering to keep up the ruse with her teammate who had been the one to push you together in the first place.

“Not really,” Alicia replied, “Everyone’s memory of the incident will be of her voice tearing Umbridge a new one. In a way, she got to berate the tyrannical headmaster without being punished. But she says you owe her one.”

“Okay,” Katie agreed, “Then you two can come to my birthday party Thursday night.”

The seventh year blinked and turned her head to eye her younger teammate, “Were you not going to invite us?”

“It’s a naked party,” Katie informed her, “In the prefects’ bath.”

“I’m the one who granted you access!” Prefect Spinnet complained, voice rising to show she was more upset by the lack of invite than the nudity… as expected of Kinky Katie’s big sis. “How could you even think of having a party in the prefects’ bath without me?” She eyed you, “Will there be… party favors?”

Katie affectionately nuzzled her cheek. “There will.”

“Then we’ll be there with bells on.”

At that, Katie’s eyes flew wide open, “YES! YES! Wear bells! Only bells! You and Angie in your birthday suits wearing nothing but golden bells around your neck! That’s what I want for my birthday.”

Alicia raised an eyebrow, “Guess I can return those new gloves I got you.”

“We’ll be staggering the arrival times so it doesn’t look suspicious,” Katie informed, “You two come at ten.”

“I think… Abbott’s the prefect on patrol in that area Thursday night,” you supplied as you recalled the weekly prefect patrol schedule. That was convenient, everything just seemed to be falling into place.

Katie smiled, “Then I’ll deal with Hannah. She won’t want to come, but I can convince her to turn a blind eye.”

“In the meantime,” Prefect Spinnet said as she tugged her teammate by the arm, “I’ll parade you past Umbridge and her squad so they see you’re not in the closet they’re guarding.”

“Thanks for looking out for me, Leesh!”

“I always do.”

“Later, lions!” you called after the two Gryffindor Chasers.

To Katie, it was more of a taunt. She stopped and glared back at you. There was no heat behind it, but her glare said ‘you should know better!’

“Sorry,” you apologised, “Farwell, fabulous flying foxes!”

Katie came back and pecked you on the cheek, “That’s better.”

You watched them go with a fond smile. Being one of the biggest dog lovers in Gryffindor was just one of Katie ‘Never-Call-Me-Kat!’ Bell’s many quirks. And you wouldn’t have her any other way. All those odd details that you dug deep enough to learn were what made her your girlfriend.

There were eyes on your back. You looked over your shoulder and saw Hermione Granger. “Caught me again, huh?”

She didn’t answer your question, but opened her mouth to ask her own. You could tell from her expression it was something important… but then she hesitated, shifted, lost her nerve, and asked something else. “Did Katie just invite Alicia and Angelina to her… birthday party?”

“More accurately,” you corrected, “she invited Spinnet and she accepted on behalf of both of them without consulting Johnson. They’re her Quidditch sisters. Alicia looked offended by the notion that we weren‘t going to invite her. The nature of the party barely phased her at all. If it helps, Katie told her not to come until ten. Should you decide to attend, you can take a dip and slip out before the other Chasers arrive… because once the three of them are in the bath together, that’s when things are bound to get wild.”

“Do you really want me there?” She asked that important question from before, “You’ve been avoiding me for almost exactly two years.”

Longbottom had taken Granger’s accident VERY personally, especially given the condition of his parents. He’d been the one to warn you away from her. Plagued by your own guilt, you’d done your best to adhere to that. You couldn’t completely avoid her due to shared classes, and the D.A., and prefect meetings, and when she had the patrol schedule rearranged to get you alone, and when she spent the last two terms chasing you and your girlfriend around the school. Running all that back, it seemed like, this year, the girl you were avoiding was actively pursuing you.

In the end, Longbottom’s warning didn’t matter as much as your girlfriend’s birthday wish. It wasn’t everyday a witch came of age.

You turned to face her fully, “It seems my Chaser’s decided that, since you caught us, it’s time I stopped running. Consider it a prize for still doing your job as prefect despite the Ministry’s rampant interference in the school. Maybe instead of being Robyn Hood, Maid Marion, and the honorable Sheriff of Wartyham… you’ll come to understand the service we provide and we’ll be more like Batman, Robin, and Commissioner Granger.”

“I’m not even going to ask how you know that,” she decided, “But I feel the need to point out that Robin was originally a young boy Bruce Wayne adopted.”

You grinned, “But in this iteration, Robin is a nearly nineteen-year-old, blonde witch who looks good in red and green, has a legal driving license, and can ride a broomstick better than any motorbike. If you’re really going to penalise us for comic book accuracy… then you’ll need to start growing a mustache.”

“Or colour my hair red,” she mumbled, then reached across her chest and self-consciously tugged at the strap from her heavy school bag digging into her shoulder. “I don’t want to be an intruder. Or feel like an awkward third wheel caught between you and your girlfriend.”

“I can confidently say you won’t be a third wheel,” you stated, “We’re arranging for a special, surprise guest to attend the party along with you, so you’ll be a fourth wheel. I learned this summer that automobiles function best with four of those.”

Granger rolled her eyes, “You can’t make a Batman reference and then pretend not to know how cars work!”

You grinned, “Maybe I wasn’t actually talking about the car? After the first few days, the four of us developed a nice balance. Katie’s not the jealous type. She realised Cho needed someone who she could have intimate, emotional conversations with, who could understand her erratic thoughts and help her make sense of them, and who could reach into her chest and piece her broken heart back together. She graciously hung back and let me be what Cho needed. Luna had her own unique perspective on grief and loss and her own feelings for Cedric. He lived near her, was always nice to her, and wasn’t one of her childhood friend’s older brothers, so while Gingersnap was imagining Harry Potter, little Luna had her eyes on Cedric Diggory. We all pulled together to push through it. Now Katie’s decided that this thing with you and me has gone on for long enough and the best way to sort through it is to get us naked in a bath together. Secrets reveal themselves when you remove those extra barriers.”

But Hermione Granger’s curiosity had been piqued and she wasn’t willing to let the mystery go, “Then who’s the final wheel? Cho?”

“No,” you answered, “Her arrival window isn’t until nine, so you’ll have an hour alone with us. Unless she’s early. In which case, she can corroborate the story of our therapeutic summer holiday.” You grinned, “It’s a surprise, Granger. Katie billed it as an educational experience. Something extra to coax you into the water. If nothing else, she’ll serve as an ice breaker that will allow you to organically catch up on some of the barmy things I’ve gotten up to over the last couple years.”

She blinked, then stared at you thoughtfully, and finally nodded, “I’ll be there.”

Katie was right. It seemed Hermione Granger’s thirst for knowledge - both new and lost - was stronger than her modesty. She made to go around you, but you called after her, “Oh, and if you want to make Katie really happy… wear a bell.”

“A bell?”

“Spinnet made the pun,” you recounted, “She said they’d be there ‘with bells on’ and Katie got really excited. Think of it as an extra ribbon on your gift. Wear it around your neck and watch her face light up when she sees it.”

“Are you going to wear a bell?”

“Wasn’t originally planning on it…” you admitted. “But then I saw her eyes ignite at the mental image of her Quidditch sisters wearing nothing but bells… and so I’ve decided to do my part and fan the flames.”

“I’ll wear one if you do,” Granger decided.

Speaking of bells, a single, loud bell rang from the direction of the Clock Tower. One o’ clock. Lunch was officially over. Now everyone had fifteen minutes to cross the castle and reach their first afternoon class.

“It seems we have somewhere to be,” you resolved with a nod, “Be seeing you.”

And while Hermione followed in the direction Katie and Alica had gone, you dashed along the seventh floor and crossed a bridge to reach the North Tower. Your school robes fluttered behind you like a black cape.

Marvolo Gaunt… Chief Executive Officer of Gaunt Enterprises… and the Dark Knight of Hogwarts. Katie could have Robin Hood. Because what teenage boy in the nineties didn’t occasionally imagine being Batman?