Lie. It's always better.

You start to just tell him the truth. The old ass has been married several times; you know that at least one of those ladies had played phone sex with him at work. He might understand.

Then you look at him. And you remember whom you're dealing with.

If this ass found out anything involving your wife he'd never stop telling everyone about it. You'd be a running office joke for weeks.

So you decide to just lie. And you know the perfect lie to tell so you can get the hell away from work and over to meet your wife.

With a **** of will, you put a face of humility on for the boss. "No, sir, I really didn't hear you."

Mr. Van Pelt's face starts to turn an even bright shade of red before you interrupt his explosion.

"Actually, I was coming to talk to you about something that . . ." You turn to look at the closed office door and then turn back, leaning closer to your desk, and in your best conspiratory voice, you say, "...involves you and my secretary, sir."

The boss goes still then, and his eyebrows rise up questioningly.

You nod slowly. "I'm at a loss what to do, sir. It seems my secretary wants to fuck your brains out, and it is affecting her work."

Everything is quiet for a second, and you can vaguely hear Jennifer typing on the computer outside.

"Really..." the boss mumbles more to himself than to you.

"Yes, sir," you reply. "She keeps talking to me about how other ladies around the office say you have a huge dick, and she wants to measure it with her tongue."

The boss stiffens, and you proceed to act embarrassed. "I'm sorry, sir. I know that I should have reported this as sexual harassment or something, but I like Jennifer and don't want to get her reprimanded or anything."

"No. No," Van Pelt stammers. "You did the right thing. This must be handled tactfully and quietly to protect Jennifer."

"That is what I thought," you reply. You can see the old man's brain churning and you know you've got him. Now to just get the hell out of here.

"You want to speak to her privately, Sir?" You try to make the suggestion as subtly as possible, but you are horny after all.

The boss nods. "Yes, go get Jennifer in here."

As you get up to go to the door, you casually ask, "Sir, I need to go home for the day. My wife just called me saying she is sick. Is that okay?"

"Sure. Sure," Van Pelt mumbles as you reach the door.

The door opens quietly, and you knock on the frame to get Jennifer's attention.

Her pretty face turns around, and you motion for her to come in.

She looks confused but gets up to stroll around you and into the office as you slide out the door.

Just as you are about to close the door and get the hell out of there, Van Pelt's voice stops you as he starts to give you one last order.