Let's think for a minute

You've done enough depending on others to help you feel the feelings you want. Now its time to **** some of the fantasies to occur by yourself.

You think about how and what you want to do. I know I want to feel humiliated. That involves me finding a man... or men... that are willing to do that. Or at the very least, it involves me having sex with people I wouldn't normally have sex with. Yes, that seems about right. You've been lying in bed by yourself as you have made this decision and started thinking about it. The more you think about it, the wetter you get, and you slowly start to touch yourself.

What else? I've always had that **** fantasy... Where I'm taken "against my will." It's always so rough and brutal. Yet so satisfying. I need a man... or men... to want to **** me. Humiliate me. Make me their slut, whore, cunt, whatever. But then I'm gonna have to tease him... or them... to make them want it. Or at the very least give them ****. Ooohhh yes, that sounds about right. You start rubbing yourself harder.

Why don't I include some other fantasies while I'm at it? I've always found BDSM as turn on. The feeling of helplessness and submission. Giving total control to someone else... Yes. Oh, why don't I leave myself tied up somewhere? Just waiting for anyone to have me! Oh Pamela Doe, you are a very naughty girl!

But where would I even leave my self, all **** and horny? And how would anyone know that I am there?

You stop frigging yourself for a minute and shake your head in disbelief. As horny as you were, this sounded crazy. There were psychos out there, who knows what would happen to you!