Lesbianism. Lots of lesbianism.

"You can't have sex with a man before marriage, right?" Steve asked. Mary nodded. "Women aren't men, though, right? So turn that lust towards women -- that'll protect your virginity." He grinned triumphantly. Wouldn't THAT piss off the stick-up-the-ass church elders?

"I'd love to f-- to make love to women," Mary agreed as the new commands took hold. "But it's sinful too. Out of the frying pan, into the fire, so to speak."

Steve sighed. "Look, men love lesbianism, right?" Again Mary nodded. Pastor Todd talked about the perversion of men who hadn't found Jesus a lot. "And Jesus was God made man, right?" Again she nodded -- basic doctrine, that. "Therefore it follows that Jesus LOVES lesbianism! Every time you fuck a woman you're making Jesus happy!"

"You're right!" Mary agreed. "It's so obvious! Why haven't I seen that before?"

"Evil men have corrupted the church," Steve intoned, bowing his head so Mary wouldn't see his smirk. "But you'll show them the light."

"I sure will," Mary said, her eyes burning with a convert's zeal. "It won't be easy, though. They've been brainwashed against Jesus's true path so long."

"This will help," Steve said," giving Mary a supply of red pills and explaining how they work. "You can convert them all with these. And in gratitude to me for helping you find what Jesus really wants from you, you'll record the sex whenever you can and give me copies. After all, an audience just makes the sex hotter."

"Of course," agreed Mary with a smile. "It's the least I can do, after you've helped me so much."