Law Breakers

Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I know it's not that simple, it's meant to mean 'put fail-safes on your fail-safes because you can't be too careful' but right now... Right now it feels like it means 'the world's out to get you, because fuck you,'

It's not like I'm not prepared, went to the shop and bought a bottle of Cognac. Mum had a bouquet of flowers made up at a local florist. Rouge... Well, Rouge has done enough for me lately so she gets to chill out this time. Leave a job like this to the amateurs.

School barely feels like a passing dream, I exit the school with Elise and we say goodbye as she gets on the bus, leaving me with a kiss for luck. Thanks Moon. I need it. I head home and catch up with Rouge on the way.

"So, Elise's mum, good cook?" She asks nonchalantly. "I've got no horse in this race, this is basically a free meal for me, it'd be nice if it were a good one." She thinks aloud. I know what she's doing, trying to calm me down by being comically tactless. It doesn't work, but it's a nice gesture. She leads us into the house as we're greeted by the excited pattering of paws and the weak shriek of a baby bark. Ruby's taken to her role of guard dog well, as long as the intruders are terrified of snuggles. "You decided what you're wearing?" My sister checks.

"Elise said nothing too fancy, so I'm gonna dig something out." I explain. Somehow I know the answer already.

"Yeah... I'm gonna help." Rouge decides, leading me up the stairs.

I know I said Rouge had done enough, but... Damn am I happy to have help. I mean, what outfit says 'hey, remember me? You caught me fucking your daughter, then fed me, that was odd, anyway, let's be friends, please don't bring up the hair, I think my mother is still bitter about it'? I dunno, it's probably written in a magazine somewhere.

Rouge dumps a dark blue blouse and a black pleated skirt on my bed. "Put those on, wear tights, no accessorising without consulting me." She orders. Yeah, because I'm well known for my array of hats! "I'm going to go shower, look after Ruby." She adds. Fine, fair's fair, she can go first. She's helped me more than I should have let her already.

A small bark wakes me from my train of thought. Ruby looks at me expectantly. Damn it, you know you're adorable don't you. In human terms we call this emotional blackmail. You don't care, do you? You've got belly rubs and the lion's share of my bed. Hmm... I guess we have similar interests.

I hear Rouge start up the shower, I've got time, I should go check in with Mum, see how she's coping. After dumping my bag I head back down the stairs, followed closely by Ruby, and towards the living room.

"Well aren't you two thick as thieves now?" Mum smiles as Ruby jumps up to try and get on the sofa, sorry little one, you're not quite there yet. Mum picks her up and settles her on her lap. "Everything sorted?"

"Yeah, as long as everyone gets along it'll go great, if not, I suppose I can always join a travelling circus." I jest, trying to cover my anxiety. "Promise me you won't intentionally embarrass me? And Jasper won't?" I plead, half seriously.

"When have you ever known us not to get along with anyone?" She chuckles. I mean, the first time she met Elise she screamed at her. "Look, I know we're family and we like our jokes, but I know how important this is to you, I promise, best behaviour." She reassures me. As ever, Mum knows how to calm me down.

"I make no such promise." Jasper announces not as he enters the room, cup of tea in hand. Jasper, meanwhile, knows exactly how to wind me up. Bad timing, not a good day for it.

My brother takes a seat in his chair, as I decide to correct him. "You do tonight, it'll make up for not telling your fiancée about my girlfriend." I remind him. Did you think I'd forgotten that awkward conversation, Jasper? I never forget these things.

"You need to relax, everything's going to be fine." My mother assures me.

Yeah.

Right.

*

Nothing is fine.

My hair won't co-operate, I've had to redo my make up twice, and my clothes... Actually they work perfectly, Rouge really saved me, but that's not the point. The point is, I'm not prepared, If everything that can go wrong will go wrong, then everything's going to go wrong.

"You look like me before I met your Mum." Minnie smiles as I pace around the living room. She'd been visiting a friend today so she got dropped off here after. "Little bag of nerves, trust me, it can't be anywhere near as bad as you can imagine." She tries. But if it can't be that bad then why can I imagine it?

Mum's finishing getting ready and Rouge is hiding out in her room to avoid Minnie, leaving me with her and Jasper, who's currently fixing drinks. And Ruby, but she's taking a nap on the rug, what I'd do to be that relaxed right now. Jasper returns with three glasses, but one looks... Different.

"Oh... I'm sorry dear, it looks like I got two glasses of water, and one Gin and Tonic, I must have forgotten you can't drink it!" Jasper declares with obnoxious transparency. "Don't worry though, Scarlet knows I'm driving, so I can't drink it, but she can, and maybe it'll calm her down..." He finishes his pantomime, which forces Minnie into giggles. Yeah, yeah, at this point I'll take anything.

I take the glass from Jasper and take a large gulp. Oh. Oh wow. This is awful. Truly terrible. It's like water flavoured petrol. "You actually drink this? On purpose?" I ask Minnie.

"It's a double, you need it, drink it." Jasper answers in her place. Fuck it, in for a penny. I gulp down more of the concoction.

"You get used to it, at this point I miss it." Minnie explains. I'll take your word for it, think I'll stick to wine when we're there. I take another large gulp and hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Soon Mum and Rouge join us, Mum clad in a dark green pantsuit, Rouge in ripped jeans and a red plaid shirt open over a t-shirt of... Some band with a Swedish name. These two could not have gone in more opposite directions in terms of tone.

Their arrival means we're ready to go, I down the last of my drink and we bid our goodbyes to Minnie. The drive there is lively, as to be expected with Rouge and Jasper in the car, but I don't hear anything they're talking about. I barely acknowledge when we arrive, all my focus is on that door. Mum leads the way and knocks, it feels like hours until the door opens.

"Hey! Come on in!" Elise invites us joyously.

Now I feel better.