Laura

Sex with my current girlfriend, Laura, had also started off that way: oral, some public groping and fooling around, lots of different positions, and even teasing at an interest at her backdoor being explored at the start of the relationship.

My face hardened and some of the guilty feeling dissipated as I looked out of the rain soaked train window. It was a different story now altogether. Laura had lost pretty much all interest in going above and beyond in the bedroom. Very infrequent missionary sex was about all that happened between us. "Vanilla" was an understatement. Oral was out of the question, public groping was now reduced to hand holding and let's just say the concept of using the backdoor was firmly locked, bolted and the key thrown away. I'd tried talking to her about the nose dive our love life had taken but it always ended the same way.

"All you care about is sex", "I'm too tired", "Do you ever think about anything else?" were the three podium-place excuses for her to dish out, though there were plenty more to choose from. If Laura put half the amount of effort into sex as she did in coming up with excuses, we'd have put porn stars to shame. Now, it felt increasingly like our sex life had become occasional pity sex for me when she felt that I was getting too frustrated. I still loved her and we laughed and joked together but the sexual electricity and excitement had quickly and inexplicably dulled after a year together and it felt like more effort than enjoyment to get anything physical going between us. Not for my lack of trying though. Now, we shared a flat together in London each paying our share of the rent more like roommates than an excited couple sharing our first new place together. Resentment had set in as the sex between us had slowly but surely dried up and I gave up trying to engage with the problem.

Which is why when I unexpectedly received a text message from my ex girlfriend a month ago while I was sitting on the couch one afternoon with my girlfriend busy on her own phone, that I began to feel tempted. And now here I was. I'd agreed to meet up with Jess back in the north of England at her workplace for a catch up, drinks, and who knows? I felt a long forgotten stir of excitement in my stomach again and reread the messages and recent conversation with Jess, remembering back the events that led me to being on this train.