Lance must choose whether or not to help a neighbor.

“They finally stopped” said Lance Lingren in relief. This was supposed to be his day to rest, and the next-door neighbor had his band in the garage practicing with the door open all morning. He didn’t have to work and his wife and young daughter were at her parents. As much as he loved his family and tolerated work at the office, Lance needed the occasional break. He had always seemed to have an advantage over others in life. His intellect was matched with his dashing good looks. His father’s Aryan poster child Swedish genes blended perfectly with his mother’s petite Chinese features. He always had hot girlfriends and got excellent grades. His fortunes peaked when Lance got into the most prestigious college in the state and met Tara Ricci, a gorgeous Italian girl who could have easily been a model.

And then she got pregnant. That was pretty much the end of his fun. He married her and left the university to concentrate on getting a steady job. She gained weight and would never be anywhere near her ideal size. She also got a lot moodier. The constant hot passionate sex was replaced with an unenthusiastic lay once an awhile if they weren’t too tired.

Lance sighed and took a sip of beer as he started up the lawn mower. He really didn’t like this town. There were too many drunks, druggies, and other worthless people. He fantasized about getting a shotgun and going on a rampage. He shook his head and decided that 26 was too young to be this cynical. He still had his whole life ahead of him, didn’t he? Something had to change.

He noticed his neighbor walk out of his house. Lance didn’t socialize with anyone in the community any more than he had to. These people next door were the worst. The young adult in his sight, with a freshly shaved head and wearing a wifebeater showing off his athletic physique, was the leader of a band that just had to practice in his garage. They weren’t necessarily a bad group. They were actually quite talented, being influenced by acts like Sublime, Faith No More, and Rage against the Machine. He might even like them if they practiced somewhere else.

“Hey…uh….Lance?” the young man called out.

“Yeah that’s my name. Can I help you?”

The guy continued, “I know we aren’t really friends or anything, but I was kinda hoping you could do me a favor.”

Lance decided to hear him out.

“You may have heard about the upcoming battle of the bands. You have? Well that’s why we’ve been practicing so hard. We really think we can win it. We’ve spent so much time and money, that losing would absolutely crush us.”

“Well”, replied Lance, how could I help your band?”

“I’ll get to the point.”

“Please do.”

“One of the judges is a woman named Joyce Bernstein. You know who that is?” “Well she wrote a book about jacking it that was used in the schools for sex ed.” “Yeah she’s a real perv. I knew someone that did yard work for her. She was always naked and talking about sex.”

“So what do I have to do?”

“Well I’m not gay or nothin, but I’d guess you’d be considered attractive.”

“Thanks I guess.”

“Yeah, well I think that she’ll find you attractive…”

“If you want me to nail her, forget it.”

“No Lance that’s not it at all. Just flirt with her. Tease her and shit. Make her think she can score with you by voting for our band.”

Lance thought it over. “Listen…”

“Joe. My name’s Joe Szulczewski. I don’t expect you to memorize that last name.”

“Anyways Joe, I really don’t think it would be wise to risk upsetting the wife to help someone I barely know fix a competition. Sorry.”

“Your wife, she’s a Billy Royce fan right?”

“She adores him. It makes me ill.”

“Well it just so happens that the winning band will open for Billy Royce at his next concert. If we win, I’ll make sure Tara gets to go backstage and meet the fucker.”

“Maybe I’ll get decent sex from her this time.” Lance thought out loud.

“I have the directions in my hand. Take them and we’ll have a deal.”