Kissed by the Sun

Nadia tucked her arms in. The bus was cold. Goosebumps. Belinda sat four seats down wrapped in Nadia’s coat. The man whose seat she stole came and sat next to Nadia. He was pretty pissed off. Cursing young privileged young people. He didn’t see that she was pregnant with the coat covering.

The man was an elderly black man. Skinny. Grey fuzz.

“Ma petite, tu as l’air gelée… Où est ton manteau?" He said. ("Girl, you look cold… Where is your coat?")

"Cette fille me l’a volé,” Nadia shivered. ("That girl stole it.")

What Nadia craved more than anything was a smoke. Warm her up. A rush of nicotine. Toasty lungs.

She shivered into her sleep. Maybe she’d be encased in ice – only to be thawed out by an advanced civilization. She came in and out of sleep due to the rocking motion of the bus, and the old man’s snoring. Nadia nuzzled into the old man’s shoulder. A warmth. He was harmless. Also very much asleep.

"Réveille-toi, ma chère… On est arrivés, tu sais…" He said. ("Wake up, dear… We’re here now…")

They got off the bus. Nadia found her coat discarded on the pavement. Pregnant Belinda nowhere to be seen. She picked up her coat and put it on. Sandwich crumbs and all. Dusting herself off. She looked around.

Berlin.

She smelt cigarettes. Lit one instantly. Burning so good in Nadia’s lungs. Oh yeah…

“Still smoking huh?” A familiar voice said, “And you have black hair now! Good look. Black is always in style.”

Leon had hair now. Short tight curls and a beard. A few wrinkles. Nadia almost didn’t recognize him. He wore a yellow puffer jacket and blue jeans. A white hoodie underneath. Warm.

Nadia teared up. She walked into his arms. Already stretched out for her. He still smelt the same. That woody cinnamon perfume. She cried for a long time. Holding him tight. She didn’t want to let go. Not this time.

“Darling… It’s okay…” He squeezed her tight.

Berlin. Old cold concrete and glass. Pigeons everywhere – especially in bird gangs near vending machines. Large metropolitan buildings. New. Modern. High tech. But in between there were Turkish bakeries, spätis selling beer and candies at 6 a.m. The morning was rushing with nine-to-fiver’s. Berlin tolerated Nadia. It was as judgmental as Belinda. Nadia buttoned up her coat. Leon’s arm around her waist as if they were husband and wife. Not just estranged old fuck buddies.

They made it to Leon’s flat. He was living with two other students. They were nice enough. Quiet. Much younger than Leon. They left the living room to Leon and Nadia.

“I have a treat for you Nadia,” he smiled. He pulled out a couple dishes from the fridge.

“The best Nigerian food – my grandmother’s recipe…” He said.

The jollof rice was kissed by the sun. Bright orange. Tomatoes. Chilis. Onions. Spice. Served with crispy golden fried plantains reheated in the air fryer. Soft. Sweet. Caramel. And tender grilled chicken also re-crisped..

Nadia cried again.

“Darling… Why are you so sad?” He said.

“Nobody cared for me like you do… And I let you down…” Nadia admitted.

Leon smiled, “Nadia, you never let me down… You are my friend… And that is my promise to you. To always care. To always be there. And make you the best Nigerian food on Earth.”

They ate and talked about Leon studying business and his six month exchange. Nadia was quiet about Carte: Rouge and her sexual conquests.

“I am doing a hotelier’s course in Paris… I want to reopen The Pony…” she said.

But then it occurred to her. Katherine. She would never let Nadia run The Pony. They had burned that bridge. It was a hard pill to swallow. Nadia sighed. She would be a stripper and sex worker forever or until she was old and ugly.

“Nadia? What’s wrong?” Leon asked.

“I am a stripper…” She said looking into her hands, “I am a loser…”

“Nadia…” Leon said.

“Didn’t you hear me… I am a slut…” she said.

He held Nadia’s hand like a clam. Her hand being the pearl.

“Sex work is a way of life to be respected… But it rarely is… We human beings are always consumed with sex. But we hide our desires in taboo and shadows. You see the truth my girl…” He said.

“I don’t understand…” Nadia said.

“Does stripping make you happy?” He said.

“I feel closer to Alice…” She said, “Like she is up on stage with me…”

Leon smiled, “Then your answer is there. Alice is your truth.”