Keira Knightley & Catherine Zeta Jones Do 5 Each

Keira Knightley vs Catherine Zeta Jones - Part II

First each woman had to take down 5 men using punches, kicks and knees to the groin, then another 5, then final 10. At steak was a place in the Quarter-Finals, a lot of sponsorship and prize money, and for the men, hardly anything actually, but for the men it was a matter of pride to outdo the others by showing how long you could stand still and how much you could endure.

So off they went, and, given the points system, and the urgency it creates, it was not long until the men started falling. Catherine Zeta Jones took the lead early on, scoring 100 points by felling man one with just a single punch, and then 90 points for felling the second one with one knee to the groin followed by one gentle 'but accompanied by a noisy crunch sound' head butt (if she really ever hit him which was doubtful but boy did it make her look invincible).

Keira Knightley scored 90 points for the first felling - the poor bloke had taken over 40 angry, determined mini=girly-fists to all over his head before he fell, beaten.

But then Keira stunned the entire crowd by felling three more men with a single kick, scoring 3 x 85 = 255 points.

Zeta Jones was already using her first wildcard. She was squeezing away at a poor volunteer's prize posession, mangling his balls in her hand, and all for some points, but she got so into squeezing the poor fool that by the time she finally let go of him and let him fall to the ground, she was down to 45 points, and she still had two more men left to fell.

Keira had some fun with her final man, punching him hard in the middle of the face and creating massive "hmmmf" sounds - she could easily have felled him on her first or second punch, but as she was having so much fun with him, she made him absorb the full **** of four rights and three lefts to the face before finally felling him for 40 points with a determined and waving him goodbye-like forward thrust of her right fist deep into his midface.

The next ten men, all waiting their turn in mini-session two, all gulped as they saw what these girls were capable of and what was in store for them, and the audience went berzerk.

And for a score of 2 x 25 = 50 points, Catherine Zeta Jones actually leapt into the air and grabbed a hold of two ropes that were optimally positioned for her to sail forward and crunch into the two remaining male's faces with one boot each to finish off the first mini-session to a massive applause and a cheer, for EVERYBODY loved these girls and wanted to see them again in the Quarter-Finals, but only one was going to make it there.

Having taken the early lead, Catherine Zeta Jones was now behind on points, but she had already used up her first wildcard, and for her third wildcard she was planning to get out her Gucci handbag, and wipe out a whole platoon of men by whacking them with it in the FACE. Could Keira beat that? Well, maybe, it depends what cunning weapon she had in HER little designer handbag.

The elegance, glamour and femininity of both ladies in each stride was incredible as they did not break a sweat, you could see all their best bits, their faces were to die for, and all the little movements they made, and the swaying with each stride only emphasized their sex-appeal, while the officials were busy dragging away the first ten beaten males.