Kate Connors The Lizard (And Also A Lesbian)

(The following is a series of excerpts taken from the diary of Kate Connors. They have been recovered by SHIELD agents for this formal report. Prior to the incident, Ms. Connors was attending Empire State University on a scholarship for academic excellence.)

Ahh, ESU. Lovin’ that new dorm smell.

OK, so I’m all set up for the semester. I’ve got my room, my class schedule, a decent supply of food that’s not ramen, and a faint but glimmering hope for a successful and financially solvent future.

But screw all that for a second, the important thing is that I’VE GOT A GIRLFRIEND!

It’s Gwen Stacy. I’m dating Gwen Stacy. Ugh, I keep saying it over and over and I still can’t believe it.

I mean, I knew she was great when I first met her during freshman orientation week. She’s a badass ballerina/rockstar chick with a heart of gold, that’s basically the same as that imaginary friend I made up when I was five. But we started spending a lot of time together and we started talking and the next thing I know we’re holding hands and sitting under trees together and brushing each other’s hair and all those mushy gay things. It’s soooooooo good.

Maybe this is just my hormones talking, but I’ve really got a good feeling about her. She’s really funny…she doesn’t try to start shit, but she’ll never take any…she’s smart, and she doesn’t care if I start rambling about reptiles or any of the stuff I’m reading about…she doesn’t act like me having one arm is a big deal…she’s got the world’s most beautiful butt

No. Bad Kate. Gwen just figured out that she’s bi and she wants to try and take things slow. I am a good girlfriend and I will support her.

(Gah. Why do I have to be so thirsty?)

So in non-girlfriend-related news, I’m making some good progress on the formula. I am just a hair’s breath away from figuring out how to regrow human limbs with reptile DNA. It’s just going to take a few all-nighters and then Nobel, here I come. Some people might say that I’m reckless, I’d say that fortune favors the bold and all that jazz. I’ve managed to sneak a few samples into my room for testing. Ahh, the benefits of having a single dorm.

Maybe I could invite Gwen over. Show off that big brain o’ mine.

(In the diary margins, Ms. Connors has drawn a series of chemical equations. Also present is a detailed sketch of a salamander and a chibi-style drawing of Ms. Stacy.)