Ka-boom!

We both spoke at the exact same moment.

“Yes! You can fuck me one last time.”

“I think I could be the father of Michael.”

My brain refused to work for half a minute as I sat there in stunned shock. Had Daniel really just said...

We started shouting exactly in time again.

“You think you’re Michael’s dad!”

“You want to have sex? Now!”

“No no no no!”

“I’ve gone over the dates so many times, and I think it’s a possibility, yeah.”

“There’s zero chance of that happening!”

“You just offered it to me!”

“Back up! Back up. Stop! I can’t deal with this.”

I held up my hands for both of us to stop talking. When Dan was still, I very slowly indicated that he should be the one to speak first. “Go back to the very first thing you said.”

“I said I think I might be Michael’s father,” Daniel said softly.

He looked at me with such deep intensity that I struggled to find the emotion he was feeling. Not nervous, not embarrassed, but terror. Deep, deep terror.

“That’s impossible. Jay is Michael’s father. I’m leaving,” I said, and I stood, getting up.

"I remembered the night we spent together. I remembered that you'd been seeing Jay. I remembered you telling me afterwards that things were complicated between you two."

“I don’t remember saying that,” I said defensively.

"I've had twenty-five years to remember that night. You'd be surprised what sticks in your mind when you spend enough time thinking about it."

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“It was May 20th, 2000. The night of the Barnsley Track Meet. You’d come first, beating the girl that ran state the year before. You were celebrating. I checked the college records as well as the sports section of the paper. When’s Michael’s birthday?” Daniel asked me, pulling me into his investigation.

“February 17th,” I answered.

“39 weeks later.” Daniel had done the maths.

“Pregnancy is 40 weeks. See. I was already sleeping with Jay before you. He is the father.” I didn’t want to admit that Michael had arrived a week early.

“Maybe,” was all Daniel replied.

I started to pace the room. “He’s my son. Jay raised him. He’s his father.”

“Maybe.”

I collapsed back into the chair, my legs suddenly feeling like jelly. What in the earth was I going to do? For twenty-five years I'd thought I knew exactly who my son's father was. Now a man sitting on the edge of a motel bed had reduced that certainty to one word.

“Maybe?” It sounded like I was begging.

“I’m so very sorry,” Daniel said, and I knew he meant it.

"Why didn't you tell me back then?"

"Because I didn't know."

"And now?"

He shook his head. "I still don't know."

“Gods. And I was going to give you one last pity fuck before you croaked,” I said.

Daniel laughed wryly. “Yeah, what the hell was that all about?”

“Ugh! Please forget it. It’s so embarrassing. I’d been so sure you’d only reconnected to sleep with me again, and then when you weren’t I lost my mind.”

“I’m flattered. I guess, but this is way more serious.”

“You’re telling me! What the hell do we do?”

Daniel didn't answer immediately. He stared down at his hands, his right one beginning to tremble again. This time he didn't try to hide it. "There's something else you need to know."

I sat back down. "Of course there is."

He gave me a faint, sad smile. "I never wanted children."

I frowned. "What?"

"Not because I don't like kids. I do. But because of my family." He glanced at the medical papers. "My father had Huntington's. His mother had it. I watched what it did to both of them." He paused. "When I was young, I decided I wasn't going to take that chance with someone else's life."

I stared at him. "So, you chose not to have children?"

"Yes."

"Ever?"

"Ever."

He leaned back against the wall. "I met Annie when we were twenty-eight. She wanted a family eventually. I told her from the beginning that I didn't."

"What did she say?"

"She thought I'd change my mind."

He smiled sadly. "I think she spent years waiting for me to."

"And you didn't?"

"No."

"Even after you got married?"

"Especially after I got married."

I was quiet. "So that's why you never had kids?"

"That's why."

He looked at the floor. "Annie eventually realised I wasn't going to change. We had the same argument over and over. She wanted children. I told her I couldn't knowingly bring a child into the world with a fifty percent chance of inheriting what I'd watched destroy my parents." His voice tightened. "Eventually she left."

I didn't know what to say.

"How long ago?"

"Eight years."

"You're divorced?"

"Yes."

"And you never told her about me?"

Daniel shook his head. "I didn't know."

"But you knew we'd slept together."

"I knew we'd slept together once. I knew you were seeing Jay. And I knew you'd eventually married him and had children." He gave a small shrug. "I assumed Michael was Jay's."

"Until your diagnosis."

"Until my diagnosis."

The room seemed to get smaller.

"So, you've spent your entire adult life avoiding having children because you were afraid of Huntington's..."

"Yes."

"And now you've found out you might have a twenty-five-year-old son."

"Yes."

"And he might have inherited the disease you spent your whole life trying not to pass on."

Daniel nodded. "That's the part I can't stop thinking about."

I looked away. For the first time, I understood why he'd looked terrified when he'd told me.

"What does your doctor think?"

"My neurologist thinks we need to establish the facts."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning a DNA test."

I swallowed. "And if Michael is yours?"

Daniel looked at me. "Then he deserves to know."

I immediately shook my head. "You can't just walk into his life and tell him that."

"I'm not suggesting that."

"Because you don't know what that would do to him."

"I know."

"Jay would be devastated."

"I know that too."

"And Michael..." I stopped. The image of my eldest son flashed through my mind. His face. I’d do anything to protect him. “If I even think about doing this, you and I need to come to some sort of an arrangement first…”