Judo Chop!

This mustn’t register on an emotional level.

First distract target.

Then block his blind jab.

Counter with cross to left cheek.

Discombobulate.

Discombobulate.

Discombobulate.

Discombo…laugh?

You were cut off by a boisterous laughter that rivaled your own.

“I heard that laugh and knew it was you.” The stranger remarked. Giving him the side-eye the only thing you could recognize about him was his EMT coveralls.

“Chris how do you know Mr. Ashwood?” Brenda asked.

Damn Mr. Ashwood…that’s cold B. Guess those shared snorts meant nothing to you.

Sad face.

Breaking out a grin that would rival the Joker Chris again laughed.

“Brenda, this is the guy I was telling you about from last night. The one who had me and Haley in stitches from the banquet call.”

Chris turned to face you.

“You were one hell of a way to start a shift!”

While this did clear up some confusion. You did wonder what the hell you said last night. All you could remember were the comments about who you could only assume was Haley’s voluptuous asse…aw shit.

Turning as pink as Brenda was before you waited to see how she’d take this revelation.

“Oh I had no idea Mr. Ashwood had such a sense of humor.”

Yup you dun fucked up.

“Everyone says the funniest shit on pain meds. Bet you barely even remember whatcha said last night right Joseph?”

Nani?!

Did Chris just hand you an out.

Damn, a true bro.

It’s enough to make a grown man cry.

Wiping the tear from your eye you spoke up.

“Yeah, all I can recall is passing out and then waking up in the hospital.”

It was faint but you could have sworn you saw a glimmer in Brenda’s eye.

Victory.

Chris chimed in again

“I even seem to recall a certain nurse hopped on meds from a root canal who went around complaining about the severe lack of cute guys to date. Until she was dragged home by another R.N”

Brenda turned pink again.

“Please Chris don’t I never want to relive that day!”

He chuckled.

“Well let me save you some face and take this cute guy off your hands. Unless you still need him.”

Chris teased Brenda with a wink.

Burying her face into her hands she shook her head.

“We’ll see you in a couple of days for the blood work. Joseph.”

Damn even you had to admire Chris’s skills in the sacred art of the tease.

The two of you wandered off a bit from the nurse’s station before Chris started up the conversation again.

“Sorry. If I knew you were putting in work with Brenda too I wouldn’t have mentioned anything to her.”

Too?

“Now then about you flirting with my partner Haley as well.” He said taking a somber tone.

Ruh-Roh.

“Uh Chris, I’m seriously not that kind of guy. I wasn’t trying to lead either of them on. I’m a one girl kind of guy…”

You continued to yammer trying to cover your ass.

Chris quickly cut you off

“Hold on. I’m just joking man. I get it I used to play the field pretty hard myself back in the day.”

Phew.

“That’s a relief” you said laughing uncomfortably.

“And don’t worry you won’t have any competition from me. I much prefer playing the wingman nowadays.”

He laughed flashing a gold wedding band.

“Although I’m sure between the two of us. It wouldn’t be much competition.”

He laughed again.

“I’m kidding again man.”

Realizing Chris was a pretty good guy you relaxed a bit.

“Now about Haley, you’ve got to go talk to her. I’ll be honest I’ve never seen her crush this hard.”

“Really?”

“She kept talking about you for the rest of our shift thought you were hilarious. Even made me stop so she could see if you were alright.”

That’s why you saw her when you woke up.

Damn even drugged up you had game.

+1 Swagger.

“I actually was looking for her myself. You know where I can find her.”

This put another smile on Chris’s face.

“Exactly what I wanted to hear, she should be out front first door on the right. If anyone hassles you tell them Chris said you were good. Here let me give you my phone number and of course Haley’s.”

Scrambling for your phone you took down both numbers. Although you technically already had Haley’s.

Inputting Haley’s number, you paused recalling your preference to your nickname for her and changed her contact name to “Big Butt”.

No way that comes back to bite you in the ass right…

“You know the same thing happened to me.”

“Huh?”

“How I met my wife”

Chris again flashed his gold wedding band.

“She ate a few too many feel-good brownies and her friends called an ambulance. Had me in stitches the entire ride.”

He mimicked his wife

“I am such a smurf right now. Oh and you are without a doubt red. We should make purple! Lots of purple!”

“And wouldn’t you know it a few years later and we’re blessed with a pair of twins.”

Alright without a doubt a good dude. You thought to yourself as Chris continued to reminisce.

“Thanks Chris”

“Wingman remember. Just treat Haley good alright. I don’t need to listen to her bitch about you all day!”

“No promises!”

You both chuckled.

“Well? Stop standing around here and go get here champ!”

Heeding Chris’s words you rushed downstairs.

Eschewing the crowded elevator you went for the stairs making up some serious time by sliding down the railings. Hey at least if you scraped your knee you were in the right place. Arriving at the ground floor landing you made your way to the first door on the right.

Staring at the pale green “Employees Only” placard.

You scoffed and went in.

Instant regret.

A herd of hospital employees stared at you standing there in your button-down shirt and jeans. Pursing your lips, you scanned around the room for someone not wearing scrubs.

In the far right corner by the coffee machine you spotted Haley in the same coveralls as Chris. Awkwardly shuffling past the break-room tables you nodded at the medical peoples.

“Uh…Chris sent me”

“Mhm said it was all good”

Clearing most of the tables you turned your back and rushed to Haley.

Alright Joseph now’s your time to shine. She thinks you’re funny. Just need to keep up that illusion.

C’mon just need a killer line to woo her off her feet.