Jordan doesn't want to admit it

"I think," Matt said, "that being gay is sort of like being anything. I mean, you're a jock, right? So, if I told you jocks are musclebound idiots, you'd probably say something like 'hey, some are but lots aren't,' right?"

"Yeah, so."

"So, you don't have to walk a gay walk or talk a gay talk or anything. You don't even have to dress nicely if you don't want to. Some gays are complete slobs."

"I don't mind looking nice."

"I even get wanting to stay in the closet," Matt continued as if Jordan hadn't just made his point. "You're probably afraid your parents and your coaches would go non-linear if they found out they had a gay son or gay player. I get that."

"I'm not saying you're right about me being gay, you know."

"Sure. The thing is, it's none of their fucking business. But they pretend it is their business and stick their weird beliefs on others. So, since you don't want to put up with their bullshit, you just go along and pretend to be straight. It's called being in the closet and it's a common thing, especially for high school kids who don't want to be ostracized or kicked out of their home or even murdered by their parents or coaches. And that's okay. Don't let anyone shame you for being in the closet."

"You hear I'm not agreeing that I'm gay, right?"

"Yeah, I hear you. Of course, there are limits. I mean, if you're dating a girl as part of your cover story, it's kind of rotten, when you think about it. Because you're leading her on in a way. It'd be like dating some girl because her dad is your coach and you wanted to suck up to him... it's mean to the girl because she's thinking you like her."

"Yeah, I get that."

"And you know who else it's not fair to?"

"Who?" Jordan leaned in, intent. If Matt had any doubts about Jordan's sexual orientation, they were answered now.

"It's not fair to the guys who might want to date you."

"Yeah, like any guys on the Hill would date another guy."

"There's a cool coffee shop in San Pedro where a bunch of gay guys hang out. Maybe we could go there sometime, you could meet some guys who appreciate you for who you are."

"But you're not gay."

"No. But that doesn't mean I'm not willing to be your friend, Jordan."

"Shit. If anyone guesses I'm gay, you'll be the only friend I have and... no offense, I need to be one with my teammates. And I don't mean that in a sexual way."

"Never mind that. You're staying in the closet as long as you need to. The only person you need to be straight with is Tanya."

"Straight with me about what?"

Some time during the discussion, Tanya must have come into the apartment.

She must have come directly from cheerleading practice and wore the skintight polyester summer uniform that showed most of her ass and most of her tits and that had every straight male on the Hill drooling.

"What do you think, Jordan. Are you ready to be the man here?"