Join the weirdness in the kitchen

You lean against the wall, feeling weak. This is all far too much to deal with this early in the morning, but you doubt you have the energy left to get dressed and head outside.

You sigh, resigning yourself. You're gonna be living with these people all year, including the dinosaur apparently? So you might as well get used to dealing with them now.

You push open the common room door and step into the most bizarre scene you've ever experienced.

Broden is pouring the boiling water from the kettle into a teapot, which contains so many teabags that they are overflowing out of the top and spout.

Alan the dinosaur is cooking an overwhelming amount of bacon in his frying pan. You spy at least five empty bacon packets on the counter beside him. He's holding the handles of the pan and a turner in his claws, somehow.

And there's another person here as well. They're washing some dishes, presumably having just finished their own breakfast.

There are many things you notice about this person. For starters, she's completely naked.

Her body is decorated extensively with tattoos and piercings. Short black hair covers the sides of her head, with a bold blue mohawk on top.

Also, she has a penis.

She turns to look at you as you enter, and whistles. "Daaamn! Broden, is this the other chick you banged last night? She is thicccccc~"

Broden simply nods. "Eeyup."

You blush furiously! Guess nothing's a secret around here, huh?

"Grace, don't be rude," Alan chastises her.

She just laughs him off. "Don't be such a stick-in-the-mud, Alan. It's a compliment!" You notice that her penis has hardened since you entered, and it's now pointed directly at you.

There are many, many, many questions running through your head right now, but the one which makes it out of your mouth first is, "Why are you naked?"

She laughs uproariously, putting her hands on her hips and sticking out her chest proudly. "Because I can! Apart from laws or cold weather, there is no good reason to wear clothes, ever." She eyes your simple grey pyjamas. "So are you a first-year then?"

You nod. "Yeah..."

Alan chuckles. "Ah, no wonder you seemed so shocked. You won't be desensitised to this sort of stuff yet."

"This sort of...?" You look around. "So dinosaurs and chicks-with-dicks are just normal around here then?"

Everyone laughs.

"Yeah, pretty much, especially among third-years like Alan 'n' me," Grace says. "It's all the GAME system, man! It lets you do pretty much anything. I beat a guy called Jake McMann last year, and now I can do this."

She waves her hand over her crotch for a moment. When it reappears into view, her penis has disappeared, a normal-looking vagina taking its place. She waves again, and the penis returns.

"At will, I can swap my genitals with his. When it's on me I can feel it as if it were mine, and it feels gooooood." She smirks. "Also he hates it when I do this." She then rapidly oscillates between dick and pussy for a few seconds, presumably creating some very confusing feelings for both herself and the guy on the other end.

"Now, you may be thinking," Alan speaks up while plating his bacon, "you could set up a GAME with a friend to win all your heart's desires, and your friend could just lose on purpose." He gives you a serious stare. "If you did that, you would likely never see that friend again."

You're taken aback by this sudden turn. "Wha- why?"

Grace sighs. "Ho boy, here we go again."

He sighs solemnly. "When the GAME system provides a prize for a completed GAME, it deducts PRIZE points from the loser to compensate. So if, as a random example, the consequence for losing was being turned into a dinosaur, then the loser would also pay the one-million PRIZE required to enact that transformation. They would then go bankrupt, be captured by the auditors, and paraded around private parties and research labs the world over for ten years, until they finally earn enough to return to university and start their second year all over again."

He inhales, then dives face-first into his pile of bacon, taking a huge amount into his mouth at once and devouring it voraciously.

You are stunned. "M-my god, that happened to you? I'm so sorry..." Then a thought strikes you. "Wait, are you saying you went off-campus, and the magic didn't go away?"

"Mmfmfmf," Alan mumbles around his bacon.

Broden chips in for him. "Translation: once you're a dinosaur, you don't need magic to stay a dinosaur."

Grace scoffs. "Lucky for some. I'm gonna have to choose between dick and pussy come graduation. Jakey boy's hoping I give his dick back for good, but I'm really tempted to keep it. He should just feel lucky that the magic's always a one-time payment, so it doesn't cost him every time I swap our junk around."

She then claps her hands. "Anyway! Since you didn't hang out with us last night... uh, what's your name?"

"Carolina Waters," you say. "You can call me Carol."

"Well, Carol~" She smirks and approaches you, her stiff dick leading the way. "I have a plan. And I need to fill you in."

"Mmmf!" Alan chokes on his bacon. "Carol, run!"

You take a nervous step backwards, which turns out to be a mistake as you back into the wall. Grace gets up in your face and kabedons you, smacking her hand into the wall just by your head and leaning over you.

"So, in my previous two years, I have managed to fuck every one of my flatmates within the first week. And I have ensured that every flatmate has fucked every other flatmate before the end of the first month." She smiles like a predator, eyeing up your body. "I'm at two of seven so far, but I hear you're already beating me at three, you little minx!"

You gulp. "I uh... I didn't really do anything with Maisie though?"

She chuckles. "Well, you got her excited at least. That chick had the slickest snatch my dick has ever felt! I should thank you for that, and for the warm-up you gave Broden. You must've really gotten his juices flowing, 'cos the load he blew in my ass was huge!"

You suddenly feel a cold, sharp pain in the pit of your stomach. So Broden had sex with her last night as well? And she managed to make him actually cum, too...

Why are you surprised? It's not as if you were anything special to them, they literally just found you. But still...

Grace is watching your expression with manic glee. "Yes, yes! That's the expression I love the most! Hoho, you're jealous! No use denying it, you can't hide it from me."

You glance down, blushing in shame. This only seems to excite Grace further.

"Ohhhh fuck, girl! Now that you've shown me such a lewd face, there's no way I'll be able to get on with my day until I fuck someone!" She leans in close to whisper into your ear. "You gonna offer up your ass to me? Or should I just get some relief from Broden again? Hehe, maybe you'd like to watch that..."