John Doe, your average unlucky loser.

This is the worst day ever.

In a span of six hours, you got rejected by your hot coworker when you asked her to go out on a date with you, Steve from accounting got a promotion because of YOUR analytics and work, then you got fired on the spot because you walked in on your boss having sex on the hot coworker that just rejected you earlier this morning, then later you got a call from your father overseas that he won the lottery and that he's disowning you and divorcing with your mom to marry some Russian supermodel.

And the worst part of it all, the people at McDonalds forgot to put onions in your Big Mac order.

"Man, I hate my life." You said to nobody, because there was no one around. "It sucks and I wish I could just forget all about it. Why am I always so unlucky?"

Your luck has followed you wherever you went since you were born. Your childhood was terrible, you had neglectful parents, your babysitter bullied you, your middle school was awful, you were humiliated in high school. Now you were an adult, but nothing's changed at all! You never seem to catch a break.

"Oh well, I guess I can look at the bright side about all of this. At least nothing could ever get any worse than this. Ever. Forever."

Right after you said that, a green portal appeared out of nowhere, and a bunch of green glowing rocks flew out and landed on your face.

"WHAT THE FUCK"

One of the rocks landed directly at your eye, causing significant damage. You reeled back in pain, holding your injured eye.

It appears to be completely bruised. You probably have a black eye now.

Goes to show what you know, ya dumb idiot.

Sigh... You just want to go back to the comforts of your small pathetic two-roomed apartment.

Yeah, a good night's sleep would be wonderful at this point.

And so you went home, covered in glowy rocks bits, tired and drained, ego and eye bruised.

You took a shower, dried yourself with these papersand towels, went into your bedroom to sleep.

Setting your head in the pillow, you sarcastically smile to yourself, "I'm sure tomorrow is gonna be an even greater day."

BANG BANG BANG ITS THE DOOR OPEN ME YA FUCKING CUNT

Oh geez, someone is knocking on your door. Now you can't sleep.

You wake up and get out of your Mambi Bambi Pajamis to go greet the bastard ruining your life.