Jim is really Tim!

The entire room gasped. Nestled between his bare legs was the tiniest little micropenis any of them had ever seen. The minuscule wee-wee in the painting was pretty much a perfect rendition down to the light mole on his balls.

Jim went to cover himself with his hands but Rick ordered him to keep his hands up.

"God damn my dog's got a bigger wiener than that" yelled one of the farmers. The entire room bursts into laughter.

“Hmm it looks like his pathetic cock isn’t the only thing little Jimmy has been lying about.” announced Deputy Rick, pulling the ID out of Jim’s wallet. “Turns out his real name is Timothy.”

“That’s the name of the model on the plaque!” I exclaim, looking towards the little informative sign next to the painting. “Hey officer do you mind if I snap some pics for the paper? This is a huge scoop!”

Jim (or Timothy it would seem) cried out.

“No! Please! Okay fine I confess it's me and my little dick in the painting. But, surely we can just keep this between the people here tonight?” he pleaded, “We don’t have to spread it around right? Think of how this news will effect community morale."

“Yea I’m constantly hearing how our wives wish they had husbands that did ‘more for the community’ like Jim.” The local barman scoffs. "Like we don't already work 12 hours a day to keep food on the table. I’m sure all the fellas will get a big morale boost when they find out about the ‘town hero’s’ little problem."

The men all laugh in agreement.

“Please we can’t show this painting to anyone, I don’t want to have to move again!” Tim cried, “Almost everywhere I go people recognize me from the painting and-.”

"Hang on if other places know this painting is about a guy with a button dick finds out we protested it,” one of the crowd members shouts, “they might think all the men in this town have tiny little acorn dicks too!"

“We can’t have that!” Shouted the butcher, “We’ll have to encourage the whole town to come to the exhibit.”

“After we’ve received Father O’Hara’s approval of course” Pipes up Mr Buck.

“And my approval you will have,” everyone turned to see Father O’Hara step into the room.

“Father O’Hara” Tim squeaks in surprise, “This isn’t what it looks like-”

“I'm very disappointed in you Jimmy,” The priest shook his head “Trying to deprive the town of these fine works of art just because you're ashamed of the little baby pecker God gave you.”

“Please you can’t let anyone more people see this painting.” Tim begged, “Surely you’ll agree it’s not appropriate to invoke the umm- sin of lust-”

“Oh don’t you worry Timothy, no one will be lusting over your minuscule tally-whacker.” Remarks Father O’Hara sagely, “On the contrary I think this painting is a very good lesson about the sinful nature of pride. I will be sure to work it into next weeks sermon.”

“But-but-”

“Don’t talk back boy,” Father O’Hara gives Tim a hard flick on the head of his little penis and Tim lets out a whine. It might’ve been a trick of the light but I could swear I saw a squick of precum fly off. “I think you and your little willy have caused enough trouble for one night haven’t you?”

Officer Rick lets out a yawn “If we’re quite done here Father I’d like to book him into a cell and get back to bed.”

“Yes, yes I think it will do good for this unhung sinner to have some time to reflect.” he nods to Officer Rick.

“Am I free to go officer?” I asked still with my hands in the air “Do you mind if I take some photos for the paper?”

“Oh yes Bill, sorry for the trouble, it seems you’re quite the hero. Thank you for apprehending this small-dicked criminal” replied Officer Rick as he began placing Timothy under arrest. “Take as many photos as you need.”

At that I grabbed my camera and started snapping away, capturing photos of Timothy as little baby dick tears streamed down his face. A few with his hands in the air, next to the painting of his likeness, both pee-pees open for comparison. Then having his hands cuffed behind his back and being marched outs of the building where the cold night air shrunk his willy down even further. I kept taking photos all the way up until he was sitting bare ass naked in the back of a police car.

The next day my story of Jimmy's true identity and attempted vandalism hit the front page. Timmy had finally got what he wanted with his face prominently featured in one of my articles, and only a very tiny black bar to censor his shame. As requested I made his opinions on the unflattering portrait of himself known to everyone.

The irony of the situation is by my estimate not many townsfolk were very much into art. If I had to guess I'd say maybe a handful of people would've gone to the gallery and there was a very good chance no one would have even recognized Tim’s face in the painting or connected the pieces. But now thanks to Tim’s actions the gossip surrounding the painting had taken the whole town’s interest and almost everyone came to take a look at the exhibit. It was a smashing success. By the end of the first day half the town had taken a look and had a laugh at Tim's painted little micro-wiener.

Weeks after the exhibit had left town whispers and giggles followed whenever Tim was out and about. From that point on he requested I keep his name out of the papers as much as possible, perhaps hoping it would all blow over. Fortunately that meant he was hassling me a lot less and made my job a lot easier.

But the best news came a few months later. The curator asked me to write a small "Where are they now" piece about Tim in his gallery's monthly publication. That article got a fair bit of notice and I was able to land a job at a large publication in the city to get a real boost in my career.

Sometimes I wonder what became of Tim. The people back home say they didn't see or hear much from him after his tiny secret was exposed. Some rumors say he moved away to another state, some say he went to prison for his little stunt and other say he is still in town but almost never leaves the house. But I was sure wherever he was that little dick was still getting him into big trouble.