Jess tells her story

"So," Jess said, "I understand that Dad told you about our Sexual Conceptual Neglect. Actually, I have what they call Sexual Conceptual Disorder, which is related, but has very different consequences. But the bottom line is that we... well, we will come across as pretty clueless when it comes to sex, and we don't have the sorts of boundaries you might normally expect."

I nodded. "Can I ask about how you're different?"

Jess nodded. "I can concieve of sex, obviously. I think that I understand what it is, both biologically and in society. And..." she looked at me significantly, "remembering what I said before lunch..." she said, touching one of my feet under the table with hers, "I'm excited by it. I have to be careful, but I've had a few sexual partners. The difference is how I react in the moment."

"How is that?" I asked, as Jess played a gentle game of footsy with me.

"I don't make connections to sexuality very quickly," she said. "I can understand a lot in retrospect, and I can apply ideas, but I can only react to sexual situations by thinking about them."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Let's put it this way," Jess said. "Now Luke, I really need you to be completely honest, if this is going to work. Just keep your cool. But do you like my tits?"

I blushed. A few different impulses fought for control. I looked uneasily to Darren, who looked at me with nothing more than earnest interest. But I pushed forward and kept my tone level. "Um, yes."

Jess smiled. "I thought so. But you know, I have to reason it out, from the fact that your eyes often look down to my chest when we chat. When I was a teenager, I had to actually reason out that boys might look at my chest because they wanted to look at my boobs, and then work out that it's because boobs are sexy somehow. That was an epiphany, let me tell you." Jess blushed a bit, and turned to Kelley. "But Kelley, for example..." she said, causally lifting her sister's right breast, "is probably only vaguely aware that she even has breasts."

"Does it always take you that long to realise that something might be sexual somehow?" I ask, deliberately avoiding looking at Kelley's or Jess's breasts.

"Oh, no, no," Jess chuckled, waving a dismissive hand. "No, I can learn. You could even say that I'm an avid student, though most of what I learn is theoretical. It took me a little while to notice that you look at my chest sometimes, but I know what that means now and knew that you probably liked my tits. And I have a working theory of what it means to play footsy," she added, caressing my ankle with her stocking feet. "Though with my family, we don't actually have to do it under the table: it makes no difference to them."

I looked to Hellen. She smiled gently at me. I felt quite strange talking this way in front of them. "Jess... are you trying to seduce me in front of your family?"

Jess smiled conspiratorially. "Not exactly. I'm just trying to set the tone for what's going to be a strange conversation. They really want to be here for it, by the way," she said, looking around. "They want to see how you react to what I'm saying. I think it's sweet."

"We all want to support you, honey," said Hellen.

Jess smiled a quirky smile. "... thanks Mom," she said. "Anyway. I told you about how I lost my virginity, right?"

Darren smiled, remembering that whatever losing your virginity was, it's something that went well for Jess.

Jess cleared her throat. "Well. I think I should elaborate on that a bit. I was with my best friend Greg, and his friend Mark. Mark was... a bit handsy, and he came to realise that I didn't react the way other girls do. I was in the back of Greg's car with Mark, because Greg had some antique stuff in the front seat that he needed to keep safe. And Mark decided to try putting his hand down my panties."

My eyes went wide.

"Now I knew what masturbating was by that point, because of a couple of my friend's sleepovers. I thought that Mark was just being sweet by making me feel good. Greg wasn't very happy when he noticed, though. He got upset and started calling me and Mark some names. But he realised that I wasn't reacting how he expected. One thing led to another, and he dared me to take off all of my clothes. Mark didn't discourage us either.

"Now, I knew by then that being naked for a man was sexy, and I thought it would be fun and a way to show Greg how much I liked him. So I did it. Greg was so excited by it that he took off his clothes, and so did Mark. I thought it was all very exciting." Jess squeezed her legs together. "I still do I guess."

"So what happened?" I prompted.

"Oh, Greg was very sweet. He fumbled a little, but soon pushed himself inside me. It all felt very romantic, and we had sex and lay together for maybe an hour. Mark was there the whole time. And after Greg got up, Mark asked me if I would suck his cock to help him get release. I had heard rumours about that sort of thing, but I was excited and curious, so I did with Greg watching. It wasn't the same, but it was still fun."

"What were things like between the three of you afterwards?" I asked.

Jess shrugged. "Greg and I stayed friends. I think he was a bit embarrassed, but we did fool around a couple of times. My first hint of the Cognitive Neglect issue was actually when Dad walked in on me giving Greg a hand job in my room late one night. When he told me to just go to bed, I thought that he deliberately not addressing the fact that I was getting Greg off. It took me a while to notice that something was off."

"And Mark?" I asked.

Jess shook her head. "Greg stopped hanging out with Mark after that. Mark played with me a couple of times in quiet spaces at parties, but Greg warned me to be careful about him."

"Okay," I said. "Thanks for telling me that, Jess. I think that I understand a little more." I look around, and see the Gales' smiling, hopeful faces.

"Is all of that okay?" Hellen asked.

I looked to her. "It sounds as though Greg was a good friend. It sounds as though Jess enjoyed... giving Mark that blow job, but maybe it was a good thing not to hang out with him after that."

Hellen looked to me in awe. "It all sounds so mysterious."

Jess looked to me. "Tell me Luke, do you watch porn?"

I blushed again. "I look for pictures and I read erotica. I watch video clips now and then. I'm not very systematic."

Jess nodded. "I watch tons of porn. I explain to my Mom and Dad that it's like Netflix. It's... not the best way to do research, but it's helpful for learning the theory of sexuality in a dumbed-down way. It's one of the very few ways someone in my position can learn safely. But after recent events..." Jess blushed hard and grimaced.

Darren put his hand on Jess's. "You don't have to talk about it, sweetheart."

Jess nodded. "Now's not the time. But I've come to realise that I need somehow to teach my family how to be safe. And porn, or erotica, just isn't going to work for that. My family don't even quite recognise when someone is naked. I'm at a disadvantage, but literally the only thing keeping them safe are their personal rules and routine. That's not going to work away from Innocence, Utah."

I nodded solemnly. "Is this where I come in?"

Jess nodded. "I happened to stumble on a couple of posts of yours on a philosophy board. I liked what you wrote about existentialism. I thought that, maybe, I could get help from someone I know. Someone friendly." She blushed slightly. "Maybe even a bit cute." She resumed stroking my foot with hers.