It's time to use your emergency plan--feminism.

In desperation, I dug deep through all of my dim memories of Marisa’s various feminist rants. Only feminism could reach her now, I figured. But what the hell did I know about feminism? Was there some phrase she loved that I could spout back at her? For perhaps the first time in my life, I wished that I’d paid more attention to all this talk about gender equality. I just never knew that it would come in handy someday….and then suddenly, I had it.

“ANATOMY IS NOT DESTINY!” I shouted in triumph. Marisa’s green eyes snapped open in shock. I wanted to dance around the room, I was so proud of myself. “Freud was full of crap, Marisa, don’t you remember? Biology isn’t destiny, society is! And if it all comes down to society, well, society can be changed, can’t it? And isn’t that the whole point? Men don’t HAVE to drool over your mountainous mammeries. We’re just taught to fixate on ginormous gazongas! Change the culture, change the behavior. Isn’t this your life’s work? Isn’t today’s incident just the sort of oppression that always gives birth to successful revolutionaries?”

It was like I’d chanted a magic spell. Marisa gave a shout of joy, and flung herself across the bed at me, crushing me in a tight hug. She was inspired, and I was happy to have encouraged her, but meanwhile the feel of her tits pressed against my chest was giving me a major boner. But what could I do? That’s just how I’d been taught by society to react!