Interlude Two

The train ride to Suzy’s office is as tense as ever. At least I’m used to the stares again. I thought that because I was accustomed to people seeing me in my tight blouses and skirts, seeing my legs and bare arms, staring at my face and hair, that it would be the same now after the procedures. God, was I ever wrong. It’s been three months now, and while I’m getting used to being back at work, having people stare at my beasts is still unnerving. Maybe it’s something I should talk to Suzy about.

That’s actually not a bad idea. Ever since the procedures, she’s just positive that I’m ready to proceed, making every conversation a minefield. And because of Sinclair’s meddling, I’m stuck letting everyone at Sculpted Dream think that this is exactly what I wanted. So, if they get word from Suzy that I’m ready for them, they’d start scheduling me for their last few gender affirming surgeries. What was it that Dr. Montgomery called them? Orchiectomy, penectomy, clitoroplasty, labiaplasty, and vaginoplasty? Such stupid clinical terms for removing my penis and testicles and replacing them with a functional vagina, clitoris, and labia.

Anything I say to Suzy has to come across as hesitant or nervous about being this female, this feminine. Of course, that runs its own risks as all she does then is try to push me into scenarios that will ‘help’ me accept it more.

When I finally get to Suzy’s office, I see that her eyes still wander over my body. Even she can’t believe all the work that’s been done. No more faja faking my curves, it’s all just me now. I’m grateful that she doesn’t make me talk about the procedures again. Just talking about waking up and seeing that I had real breasts can still make me cry.

We cover ongoing topics first. Orgasms. The new prosthetic makes it deviously easy to get aroused and Suzy had me wondering aloud for weeks on who would make me cum first. I swear, I think she was rooting for it to be Mal, but of course it was Trixie. Even that makes it hard to think about now since I have to talk about Trixie in such a confusing manner. I’m used to talking to Suzy about Trixie as Darnell. ‘Darnell’ took me out. ‘Darnell’ didn’t mind seeing my penis. I enjoyed orally pleasing ‘Darnell’. ‘Darnell’ made me cum. But now that Trixie brought her boyfriend into our relationship? The only thing that makes sense is to talk about ‘Darnell’ bringing ‘his girlfriend’ into a surprise sex session where I ‘was allowed’ to ‘orally please her’.

At least when I sound hesitant it tracks with what Suzy already believes… that I’m growing more hesitant having sex with women. So, to Suzy Mal is my boss and boyfriend, Darnell is my side boyfriend that has introduced his girlfriend to our sex sessions, Grace is my roommate and former sex mistress, and Trixie is just my gal pal at work. All of that is true in one way and all of it is a lie in another way.

Anyway, I talked again how ‘Darnell’ was the first one to make me cum with my new prosthetic and how it was embarrassing but also so powerful when ‘he’ made me cum while I was orally pleasing ‘his girlfriend’. I still can’t believe I let him cum down my throat and even acted like I enjoyed it.

Suzy’s take is that some phyco-gobbledegook means I should just focus my sexual energies on men and deny sexual relations with women. I didn’t think it meant much since I was always referring to Trixie as Darnell when it came to sex, but Suzy wanted to ‘help’ and called Grace on my behalf. I had to just sit there and listen to them talk on speakerphone. Yes, Grace helped by backing up my lies and saying that ‘Darnell’ and I had sex, but she poured it on a little thick saying that I just loved sucking his big thick long black cock. Grace wasn’t exactly happy when Suzy said I should try going without female sexual companionship for a while, but she relented when Suzy said it wouldn’t change any other part of our home relationship. Translation? I’m still Grace’s little housewife, cooking and cleaning and managing the apartment. Grace still gets to tell me how to dress and act and still gets to prance around the apartment half dressed which she knows drives me wild but now I don’t even get the little bit of sexual relief from being intimate with her.

And if I don’t play my cards right, Suzy might try the same thing and have me call ‘Darnell’ in front of her, having Darnell not bring his girlfriend into sex with us. How exactly would I do that? Having that conversation with the real Darnell would be beyond awkward.

So, now I have to tread carefully and play up that my sex with ‘Darnell’ is fine and totally masculine. That’s not even far from the truth. Beyond Trixie bringing her boyfriend into sex with us, she’s also assuming that I’m enjoying sex with men as much as I am with women and trying to ‘help’ me in that endeavor. So, there’s sex with Mal, NO sex with Grace, sex with Trixie’s boyfriend, and half of the time sex with Trixie involves her wearing a strap on. I now have more sex with men than I do women.

Anyway, we talk about orgasms. As soon as I tell her that Mal made me cum, she has me describe it in as much detail as possible. I try to be bright and happy, though I guess it’s natural to let some embarrassment though. I mean, even if I did want to transition and even if I did want to be in a sexual relationship with Mal, I don’t think I’d vote for having him finger me to orgasm under the table while sitting with some business partners and his wife. But that’s Mal, he couldn’t wait to try out my new prosthetic as soon as he found out about it.

When I glance at the clock and see that it’s been an hour I let out a sigh of relief, glad that this session is over. But Suzy says that she’d like to keep talking and will chalk this up as a double session. “I don’t want to leave you hanging any longer Paris. It’s been long enough since your procedures and I think you’re sexual experiences with your friends are fine, but neither Darnell nor Mal are giving you the full feminine experience. With your new prosthetic and real breasts, I think you should explore that more fully.”

“Wait, you mean, like…” I mimic a jacking off action while looking at Suzy questioningly “…masturbating?”

Suzy’s response is equal humor and serious, “No no no, well yes, but not like that. You need to put playing with yourself like that out of your mind. That’s the old you. A new you means a new way to pleasure yourself. While yes, you can use your hands as women have been doing that for eons, there are better ways. Women find a lot more comfort in using toys. They’d be similar to the little pink dildo that Darnell used on you, but more designed with pure pleasure in mind.”

I sit back again but do so too suddenly and have to take a beat. I’m still not used to feeling my own tits jiggle like that when I move too quickly. Just as I feared, I get to spend the next half hour shopping for sex toys with my gender therapist. She covers every base and knocks away any complaint that I have. When I mention that while my prosthetic lets me feel pleasure but not full insertion, she tells me that the three realistically shaped and sized dildos are for more ‘oral pleasure’. She points out that one is even flavored. When I tell her that I no longer need to use anal toys as I can get pleasure from the front now, she reminds me that I can get pleasure from both and should prepare to be penetrated by either of ‘my men’. So not only did I end up with an anal plug, I end up with a full anal stretching set. Six plugs, each getting progressively longer and thicker. Oh, and she had me splurge on the vibrating ones. The little nipple stimulators I get and even understand the nipple clamps, but I finally just relent and let her buy the remote-control rabbit vibrator and remote-control vibrating panties without understanding how she’d want me to use them.

My final ah-ha is brushed aside easily enough. When I mention that I’m nervous about having them delivered at home since Grace may get the package before me and get the wrong idea, Suzy just changes the delivery address to the office. Now I have to worry about Mal intercepting it.

When I finally get home, I’m greeted by Grace wearing only her panties. She just loves keeping our apartment sexually charged even though we don’t have sex with each other. We’re still allowed to be close, though I’m not sure Suzy would consider a ‘welcome home kiss’ to include Grace’s tongue exploring my mouth for five minutes while she slowly undresses me and her hands wander over my smooth sensitive skin. I might eventually get used to not having access to my penis, and with as much as everyone loves playing with them, I might even get used to having these huge breasts of my own. But I don’t think I’ll ever get used to never again having body hair and having my skin so damned sensitive to touch!

After Grace sends me on my way I check in on dinner before picking up my clothes and going into my bedroom to change. With Grace only wearing her panties, I know she’ll want me similarly dressed. She loves that I don’t need the faja anymore and adores seeing my nude body so when I come back out I simply have on my heels, panties, and apron. Once dinner is finished, I set the table for one and get my pillow ready. When Grace is sitting and I’ve served up her portion I put my pillow on the floor and kneel down on it with my back straight and my arms folded behind me. Grace eats absentmindedly as she always does while reading over her news stories, occasionally holding down a morsel for me to eat from her hand.

When Grace is done, she tries to feed me the remainder of her food but as is now normal I have to refuse. I just can’t eat that much anymore. Grace knows this, of course, but loves to put it to the test every night. After I have the kitchen cleaned, I join Grace on the couch, pulling my hair out of the way so I can lay with my cheek on her thigh. Lying next to her while she sits and watches television wouldn’t be bad, even with her hand just lazily wandering over my body, caressing and pinching and playing with me. But it’s not like I even get to watch TV with her. Sure, I hear it loud and clear, but I’m laying facing Grace’s taut belly, smelling her arousal as it grows and her panties grow wet inches from my face.

An hour or so later, I long ago forgot about trying to keep track of the shows Grace watches with as distracted as she keeps me, she gets up and leads me into her bedroom. I take my normal position on the bed where Grace decides how she’s going to bind me for the evening’s entertainment. It seems she wants to be creative, leaving me to hope that she unties me before going to sleep this time. I honestly don’t mind being bound by Grace anymore. It’s very intimate between us as she didn’t spare any expense in getting professional level B&D equipment that’s soft and pleasant on my skin. The cuffs that bind my forearms together behind my back leave just enough room to not be directly uncomfortable. Similar bindings around my thighs and calves keep my legs together. The new binding is the one around my ankles. It’s not needed to keep my feet together as the calf bindings do a good enough job there, but it’s a point that she can attach the rope. The rope that she brings forward and adds to my hair like any other hair tie. Of course, any other hair tie doesn’t **** my back to arch and my neck to strain as I’m hogtied using my hair instead of my arms. The ball gag is another reminder of her power since she knows I can keep quiet when ordered to do so… this is just a way for her to physically **** me to do her bidding and ‘shush’.

Once I’m laying on my belly and breasts, **** to look straight forward, Grace slips out of her panties and takes up position, sitting at the head of her bed with her legs stretched out to either side of me. It gives me a front row seat with no other choice but to watch Grace use both her dildo and her little green vibrator to masturbate. I’d like to imagine that part of Grace’s easy orgasm is the fact that she’s watching me while playing with herself, but honestly, I’m not sure. I can’t strain my neck enough to look into her eyes and am instead just **** to watch her toy stretch out her lips and pussy repeatedly while accompanied by the occasional touches of her little vibrator to her clit. The visuals, the smell, and of course the sound of Grace’s moans and eventual screams are enough to keep me piqued in my own arousal, one that she won’t’ allow me to finish off even though it would only take me a minute and my own fingers to gain.

And that’s just another normal Wednesday night at home.