Indiscretions Chapter 10 Part 2

We arrived at the carnival. It is held by a wandering circus troupe. There is a big top in the center of the area.

I almost forgot that I am still dressed like a woman. I thought I would invite some ridicule and be called a freak by the seller, but the ticket seller looked at me for a moment, unfazed, and handed me two entry tickets for Jessica and me.

“Enjoy the carnival.” Say the ticket seller, a bored-looking middle-aged woman with an unmotivated tone as we enter the carnival area.

What I don't expect from this carnival is that this carnival isn’t your normal all-age carnival; it is an adult-rated carnival. I saw several women dressed in slutty fetish costumes passing in front of me.

“Oh my god, where are we?” I utter the words in shock.

“Did you enter this place by mistake? Based on your attire, I thought you knew where you are, but you seem quite lost.” Someone answered me from behind.

I turn around to see who is replying to me. A blonde-haired woman with big fake tits, her face is adorned with thick eye-catching makeup, fake purple-colored long eyelashes, and bright red lips. She was wearing a bodycon rhinestone dress that hugged her figure.

No, she isn’t a woman. After I observe ‘her’ further, I find out that the woman who answers me isn’t a woman, but a ‘man’. A man who looked like a woman. A transexual.

“Yes, I thought this was just a normal carnival. I brought my daughter here to relive her younger days, but this place turned out to be a den of whore.”

The ‘man’ chuckled, “A normal carnival? Welcome to the Freaker circus. This place is an adult-themed carnival. A big gathering place for the sexually deviants. Well, that's what those prudish people describe this place. But I would rather call this a gathering place for free people, instead of sexually deviants. Oh, and most of those you call whore aren't whore isn’t a whore. Perhaps, they are sluts, but only a few of them were carnival whore who sold their bodies for money. The rest were just carnival goers looking for people with the same frequency as them. Can’t deny that some ended up in fucking, but hey, at that point it can’t be called a whore and her john, but a consensual one-night stand. Oh, I almost forgot my manners, you can call me Michelle by the way.”

It is weird, if it is the old me, I will look at the trans man unkindly as he was a bad influence toward the society, a man should stay and behave like a man, and a woman should do her role as woman, mixing them both and the society will quickly crumble, but right now, I can’t exert any dislike toward him, looking at him, made me feel like looking at a friend that share the same type of plight. I am quite thankful for his explanation about this place. At least, now we know about this place.

I responded to him kindly, “I am Paul, and this is my daughter Jessica. As I said before, we are coming here for some father-daughter bonding through recreational activity, but we ended up in an adult-themed carnival.”

“Paul, that's such a masculine name for a womanly figure like you. Have you considered using Paula, Patricia, or Patty as your name?” He asked.

I just give him a dry smile. “Maybe when I arrive at that stage. This is my first day looking like this, so I still like the name Paul.”

“This is your first day, huh? I see. Such a pity, too green for me,” he mumbled.

“What did you say?”

“Never mind it, enjoy your time in this carnival, Paul. You might like to check the big top with your daughter.” Michelle replies and then he walks away.

From what I heard from his mumbles, I can guess that he is planning to hit on me, but changed his mind when hearing that this was my first day as a ‘woman’. Good, at least, I don’t need to think about how to refuse him. I’m not gay, I don’t like men. I still like women. A biological woman, not a man trying to be a woman.

“So, should we go check the big top as he said?” Jessica asks me.

“Of course, we already bought the ticket, at least, let’s see their main attraction before we leave.”

---

We get to the big top right on time when the show is about to start. The ringmaster is a man with a weird, swirling mustache. He was wearing a typical ringmaster costume and a top hat.

“Welcome, Ladies and gentlemen, to our Freaking Cool show. Back again with me, Master Mesmero, and my troupe of freaks. For the starting act, let’s welcome the gigantits lady.” Master Mesmero opened the show.

After the opening word from the ringmaster, from the back curtain walks a girl with monstrously big tits. She sure suits the name gigantits lady. The gigantits lady walks around the stage and waves her hand to the audience.

“Gigantits lady here has ZZZ-cup tits. It is all natural, and not fake tits from surgery.” Master Mesmero explained.

ZZZ-cup? How much bigger is it than the E-cup? My jaw dropped in amazement. For comparison, what Ray gave me is only an E-cup at most, and I had considered it already pretty big, but my horizon is being broadened right now.

“Of course, our freak show isn’t complete without sex; this is what all of you are coming here for anyway. Today’s partner for Gigantits lady, is none other than her cousin, the hung Jizzman.” Master Mesmero called another member of his troupe to come in.

Another woman walked in, well, she looked like a woman, but is not a woman. The top part of her body looked like a woman with her perky C-cup boobs, her face is also feminine enough with big colorful hair, and tasteful makeup adorned her face that made her look genuinely like a woman aside from her red nose ball, but dangling between her legs is a hung 13-inch cock. I don’t want to admit it, but that clown has a bigger cock than me.

I gasp in shock. The two really have sex like the Ringmaster said. No foreplay, just straight up penetration. Gigantits lady lay on the floor, and Jizzman fuck her in the Butterfly position. Jizzman moved his hip like a piston. He leans forward and starts to suck on Gigantits lady’s equally huge nipples.

I am still flabbergasted by what I witnessed, but the surrounding people start to cheer. For a moment, all my inhibitions seem to be coming back. This is wrong. They are cousins, not directly related, but they are still family. It is so sinful. How can people cheer when they fucking each other?

“Daddy, are you okay? You have been squirming in your seat, and look flustered,” Jessica asked me with a concerned expression.

“I’m fine, I just find the show is hot — I mean wrong, how can people be okay with them? They are still related for god's sake. It is so sinful…so wrong…so hot.

This kind of show should not be permitted and should be banned because it is so h — wrong. But people here cheer for them as if there is nothing wrong with the situation. Tell me, Jess, am I overreacting?” I blabber. Currently, a hodgepodge of emotions is fighting in my psyche for how I should respond to the situation. I don’t know how to feel about this situation. I have learned that being too hasty to pick a conclusion isn’t wise. But the more I think about how to react to the scene of their fucking, the more I feel confused and flustered.

“Calm down, Daddy. Take a deep breath. In and out. Relax. Don’t be swallowed by your anger or confusion. It’s all okay. We are in a freak show; conventional morality doesn't work here. It’s fine for them to fuck each other. It’s nothing harmless because it is contained in this place. Just treat this like watching porn on your phone. It’s not like you never watch porn.”

They do no harm to society because it is contained in this place. Just treat this like watching porn on my phone. It’s not like I never watch porn.

It seems like a switch turned once more in my mind, and I finally calmed down. Thankfully, I have Jessica here, so I was able to stop myself from overreacting. What she said was right, it’s okay because they are freaks, and they did it as part of the show. We are in a freak circus, and it’s what they do. They do no harm to society. It’s not my place to go full gungho on them. Just enjoy them like I enjoy the porn sent by Mistress Noir.

Now, I feel a bit envious of these freaks. Their job is to only fucking each other. They don’t need to make a financial report, business analysis, risk assessment, etc. Just a blissful fucking. I love my current job, but I still imagine myself in their place. I imagined myself taking the place of Jizzman. A woman with cock. A freak.

I move my hips back and forth as I jam my cock into the gigantits lady’s cunt. As I imagined fucking the ZZZ-cupped lady, the enormous titted women had changed form. She no longer looks like the gigantits lady except for her tits, but she looks like Jessica, my daughter. Jessica, but with ZZZ-cups instead of her small B-cups. Jessica has a smaller frame than the gigantits lady thus her tits look even bigger.

I know I should stop at this point, but my vision, my mind is taken away by her big tits. I keep imagining that I fucking her. Nibbling at her nipple like how Jizzman suck the gigantits lady’s nipple. My cock throbs. I can feel I am close to orgasm.

Stop it! I shouldn’t cum inside her. But it is too late, I come.

“Daddy, are you jerking off!?”

Jessica’s shocked voice wakes me up from my daydream. I blinked, I am no longer down there as Jizzman fucking the gigantits lady and am back in my seat. I look at my palm, and it is covered by my jizz. I felt relieved that it was just an imagination, I didn’t truly fucked my own daughter, but I also felt so ashamed of myself, that I ever let myself masturbate in public fantasizing that I fucking my daughter. I feel so sick.

“We should head home right now, Jessica. This place is bad, we shouldn’t stay in this place any longer.” I didn’t answer her question, but straightly asked her to leave. Anyway, it’s obvious that I was jerking off; there is no point in giving her the details.

“Our next attraction is a hypnosis show. I, Master Mesmero, will pick some volunteers to be hypnotized by yours truly. You, the madam who was about to leave with your daughter, can you stop and go to the stage?”

I paused on my track. The ringmaster is choosing us to be volunteers in his show. To go to the stage or to go home that is the current question. I made a quick decision and continued to walk out of the venue. Maybe if there is a parallel universe, there is a version of me that will stay and go to the stage, volunteering to be hypnotized along with my daughter, but I choose not to; I don’t know what dastardly and immoral thing I will do if I stay here any longer. I just got hypnotized by Ray, and I ended up looking like a woman, not that I dislike it, but Ray is Ray. I believe in her professionalism. The same can’t be said of Master Mesmero. I don’t know what he will make me do when I am under his influence. Control me and make me fuck my daughter? Or make me unable to move when he fuck my daughter and forces me to watch him ravage her? Just thinking about it makes my whole body shiver. I hasten my pace and leave the venue as quickly as I can.

---

I arrived at home alone. Jessica wanted to be dropped off at Lowell’s house because she had just remembered that she had promised Sheila to accompany her to the salon.

When I get home, my breasts are already barely B-cup. Another 1-2 hours again and the saline injection would be gone, and my chest would be flat as a man once more.

“Honey, I am home.”

I suddenly flinched when I entered the house, the place reeked of smoke so much. Much more than before. It's explainable if Lisa and Jessica smoke in the house, but Jessica had been with me all day long, and only Lisa was in the house. Oh God, what did she just do when we were out? I start to get worried about Lisa.

“Babe, are you okay?” I called her.

“She is here, Paul.” The voice that replied to me isn’t Lisa’s, but someone else.

I’m following the voice and find Harmony in our bedroom. Lisa is lying on the bed, in just her underwear, her hair is in a mess, her skin is glistening with sweat, and her breath is feverish.

“Harmony, why are you here? What are you doing to my wife?” I ask the tattooed sexy lady. The suspicion on my face can’t be hidden.

“Helping your wife recover, you should thank me instead of being suspicious of me.”

“Is she sick?”

Harmony shrugs her shoulders, “I don’t know, you should know better than me, but I think it is just a fever. I have given her medicine; she should be fine with enough rest.“

“Thank you for your help.”

“You’re welcome. But from your face, I still can see a suspicion, so I will dispel it for you. You must still be wondering why I am here.”

I nod my head. Despite all my efforts not to think suspiciously of Harmony. I don’t know why my gut feeling always tells me that there is something problematic about Harmony, and I should be wary of her.

“Long story short, I was about to give my newly made yogurt to your wife. I made some extra today, so I gave it to people in the neighborhood. When I got to your wife, how surprised I was. She seemed not to be herself and out of her mind like a person high on ****.”

“Yes, she is under some…recreational medication,” I interjected.

Harmony continued, “She asked me to stay and offered me some cigarettes. Because I am worried about her, I decided to stay until you come home because I don’t think it is wise to leave her alone. We smoke a lot, but man, your wife is on a different level. She went through those cigarettes like a champ. Is she a chain smoker? Each time her cigarette was about to be completely consumed, she lit another cigarette. She had gone through six packs before she collapsed. Fortunately, I was there to help her.”

“Thank you, sorry for suspecting you. I have been on edge lately. There is this mysterious woman who is terrorizing the community lately, trying to corrupt our beloved community.”

“Terrorizing? Oh my, that’s a big deal. I hope this mysterious woman can be stopped; we can have our wonderful community turned into a den of corruption.”

I was observing Harmony’s face as she said that word; she look genuinely concerned and worried about the issue.

“Yes, I will stop her and bring her to justice. I won’t let our community be turned into a den of corruption.” People may find it ironic that I said that word while looking like this, but I had learned that being sexy or looking like this is harmless and doesn’t bring any negative effect to society. There is nothing wrong with it, and thus not part of society being corrupted. Wearing a sexy dress isn’t wrong, but using your sexy look to sell your body is wrong. I won’t let prostitution spread in this community.

“Anyway, now you are here, my job is done, and I will excuse myself first.” Harmony excuses herself to leave the room.

“Let me accompany you to the door.”

“Please don’t bother, Lisa still needs your attention.”

“I insist. You have helped my wife.”

I go with Harmony to the front door. Before she leaves, I thank her once again.

“It’s really not a big deal, Paul. It’s my job to see that your wife is fine. A fine specimen she is. Oh, what am I saying? Just forget what I just said. See you later, Paul.” Harmony finally leaves our house.

I believe it is just my feeling, but I feel like Harmony was holding her laugh as she left.

I close the door and am about to check on Lisa again, but I stop in my tracks as I notice there are some white stains on our sofa in the living room.

It looks like cum stains, slimy and quite sticky, but I remember that Harmony said she was giving away some yogurt to Lisa, and this can pass as her yogurt too. Unfortunately, the cigarette smell permeates through the room, so the smell is masked, and no way I will try to taste it. Right now, I can only believe that it is a yogurt stain because I believe that Lisa will not cheat on me.

---

Hours later. Because of Lisa’s feeling unwell, once more I am spending the night in my study instead of our bedroom.

I stand in front of a full-body mirror. The effect of the saline injection is gone, I no longer have any tits, it is just a flat man's chest. What I saw in the mirror after removing my wig is Paul the man. The magic hours are over I guess. It is such a pity, most of the new clothes I bought are better to use if I get big tits. Well, it’s not like I will use them when I am not under the saline treatment and have my ‘big tits’ back. I admit that having temporary ‘womanly’ qualities isn’t bad, and like fine dining, it's good to try it once in a while. Today's experience made me sure to ask Ray to give me that treatment again next week.

I sigh, looking at my reflection. I feel quite lost, I only had the big tits for several hours, but I already feel quite attached to them. Meanwhile, this man's chest feels…lacking. Maybe this is what Jessica felt every time when she compared her chest with her mother's.

I drop my dress and am about to change into a man’s trunk before going to sleep, but before I step out of my dress, I change my mind. I recall that I bought a new nightie, it is a sheer, black silk babydoll. This one is fine to wear even if I don’t have any tits. I also picked the lace panties that Jessica chose for me. Perfect, the color matches.

I look at my reflection in the mirror. It can still be better. I don the long blonde wig that I just threw back. And it's perfect.

I then recalled the conversation I had with the transexual man in the carnival about names. Paul is too masculine. As Paul the man, the name suits him, but when looking like a woman, should I still use the name Paul? I shook my head. I shouldn’t mix the identity when I look like a man and when I look like a woman together. It makes it easier for people to recognize me, and if people at work know it’s me, I can’t imagine the jeopardy. I need a new identity that I can use when I look like a woman.

Should I use Paula? No, it’s too close to Paul; people will instantly make the connection. Patty? Too much bimbo sounding. Patricia? I think this one is better. It doesn’t sound like a bimbo or Jezebel name. It sounds respectable. Perfect.

When I don the wig and wear a woman's dress, I’m not Paul Benson, but Patricia.

I then throw myself on the sofa, hoping that this getup will help me get a good dream.

To be continued

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