In a way

(Originally by Apollo)

"There it is again," June mumbled.

That creak came back and kept coming back. No rhyme or reason to it, like a Chinese Water ****. Whatever it was, it reeked of outdated woodwork. Finding the source took priority, that much was certain. For all her adventures and her devil-may-care attitude towards practically everything, June wasn't about to strip in a house that could fall in on her at any given moment. It was also just as likely this could be an intruder. Some of these older properties were being used for parties of some kind, and sometimes made a perfect place for criminals to avoid the police. Either way, it would be foolish to strip herself outright if she was alone. If it's just the one board, I'll get right back to the boring way, June thought.

Once fully dressed again, June crossed to the stairs, examining them carefully. The last thing she wanted was for any part of her to go through old woodwork. Fortunately, there were no signs of termites, and the wood seemed strong enough to support an elephant, so the lithe exhibitionist shouldn't have any problems. The railing was a little loose, especially the posts around the middle, but anyone careful enough should be able to balance on it no problem, and no splinters could be found. Although, the whole thing definitely needed a paint job, and oddly there was no dust settled anywhere on the steps. Even if someone had been traversing the empty house, the edges should still look unused. However, this was for the report. Now it was time to find that creaking.

June had made it halfway up the stairs when a new sound echoed around the house. Part of it was a slight squeak, which was probably the step itself - she felt it give when she stepped on it - but there was more. A whirling, drowning out the clang of metal. And this time, it was coming from beneath her.

Before she could so much as think, the stairs collapsed and brought June to her belly. Her hand launched out for the railing and grabbed the support beams, hoping to stop her from falling back to the bottom. However, the one she grabbed was one of the loose posts near the middle. While it didn't collapse, her weight made the railing's studs slide with her for a moment. Despite being stopped, June still felt the floor moving beneath her, only now it wasn't as smooth. June turned to the floor and saw the steps had lifted slightly, enough to grab anything they touched, and were moving down past her like an escalator. It took only a moment to realize why the stairs acted like this.

The stairs finally stopped and took their proper shape, allowing June to sit on the lower steps and the railing to retake its position. She was already pretty sure what had happened while dangling, but the feel of the cold wood against her bare backside and feet confirmed it. The steps had taken hold of June's shoes and socks, as well as the zipper of her skirt. The garments weren't at the bottom of the steps, telling June there was more to this trick than just the stairs. The only reason her top half remained undamaged was probably her grab for the railing. It put her on her side and protected the buttons of her jacket from the steps, and if it stayed closed, her blouse and bra were safe as well.

The answer to the haunting is clear now: It's a trick house designed to strip anyone who enters carelessly. It even brought the creaking into question - perhaps this was a recorded sound meant to lure the curious upstairs and into this trap. Regardless, the gears in June's head were already winding. If this is a trick house, she reasoned, then...