Idol Sister, by NaughtyOppa

“Yooooo, whats up faggots, your girl Rina in the house!”

“I regret this already.”

“This weak ass bitch here is my brother Ben. We are filing in for Marcie and Gina.”

“Sigh...who are on vacation.”

“They probably are fucking each others brains out on some white beach right now. Not that I care, I am straight as a Banana!”

“Sis, can you please not act like a deranged lunatic in front of an audience? For once?”

“Only if you can stop being such a little shit! Now let's see, the way this works is that we are reading some porn, jerk each other off to it and then give our critique how much it sucked, right?”

“I will do no such thing!”

“Yes, you will, the whole point of this is that it's supposed to be a roast!”

“That's not what I..ugh..whatever. So let's see, we are supposed to read...”Idol Sister”, by NaughtyOppa.”

“Yes indeedy, its a story about a Sister who's an Idol, and her brother who is desperately in love with her.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Seems pretty fitting for you, don't you think? Gyehauuaheyahuhuaygyahahaha!”

MOTHERFUCKING READING AND SHIT (BGM)

“Hohoho, now that reminded me of my old college days.”

“We are still in high school.”

“So, first I need to clarify something. This Choa person. That's a really person? Like actual flesh and bones, right?”

“Yes, she is a real life south korean model.”

“Woah, that's...”

“extremely creepy.”

“really fucking hot!”

“The fuck? You don't just sexualize real people like that!”

“Why not?”

“Imagine how it would feel to you. If some pervert just wrote some porn about fucking you.”

“Sounds pretty hot to me. Well, if they can do a good job. If they don't I'm going to bloody break their teeth in and skullfuck them with their medulla.”

“...ANYWAYS, the absolute creepyness aside, this is the story of...ugh...”

“Ben lusting after his big sister, who happens to be an idol.”

“His name is not Ben.”

“Sure is, name is customisable.”

“Alright, you want to be that way, sure. The guy wants to fuck his sister, but he is totally freaked out by it. He is very well aware that these feelings are wrong.”

“That's just him being in denial. But I actually getcha.”

“You...do?”

“Yeah, is like all stigmatised and shit. If it was any other guy I could just him, but with that's kinda frowned upon.”

“That never stopped you.”

“But you know what, Ben? Fuck society! Love doesn't adhere to any rules. If they have a problem that we love each other they can shove it up their ass!”

“I feel myself actually getting dumber with this conversation.”

“But so yeah, Ben has some issues with the whole loving his Sister thing. Luckily his Sister is more understanding and tries her best to make him comfortable with his feelings. Man, Choa is awesome. A freaking Inspiration.”

“Uh no, this is clearly an abusive relationship. Choa is an enabler at best and a manipulator at worst.”

“That's just your fucked up twisted interpretation of it. Man, Ben, you really need me to keep you straight.”

“Oh yeah, I definitely need you. Then tell me, how do you explain Head-Choa?”

“Uuhhh! This is very interesting! So, there is this Ghost that constantly pops up to give Ben relationship advice.”

“No, no, this is clearly Ben's subconscious. The poor guy needs professional help.”

“Which I'm sure his Sister will provide.”

“Look Sis...”

“Whatever! Let's talk Sex scenes. Do you like em? Did they do anything for your little penguin?”

“W-what?..I...I don't think I have to answer that.”

“Actually you do. Marcie and Gina do that all the time and we can't break with tradition.”

“Look I...No...”

“Really? Not even the threesome? I mean we even got some pretty hot pictures and all. They did nothing for you?”

“I...am very well aware that Choa and Joy are very attractive women but the situation was just too fucked up for me to find any...ehem stimulation.”

“Fucked up? Choa pays a whore to have a threesome with them! Any guy would dream of this! Except you and your story counterpart, I guess.”

“It...just doesn't sit well with me. Paying people for sex, you know.”

“Hm...so you hate paying someone. Oh, remember when we Gina into that threesome? There was no money involved there.”

“Ah yes, the thing that traumatized me for life. Wonderful!”

“Oh stop being such a drama queen. Look, I'm no lesbian, but even I managed to enjoy this scene, purely by virtue of how much fun Ben was having.”

“Good for you.”

“I mean Ben is just very cute. I love how flustered he gets about the whole situation. I just want to hug him and make love to him until he faints!”

“Jesus!”

“Christ, we are probably too nice to the author, aren't we? Quick Ben roast him/her/it!”

“uh...I don't really have any negative thing to say about the story, tough. I mean beyond my initial criticism of the usage of real life individuals. It is very well written and the conflict of the protagonist was done exceptionally well. The addition of Head-Choa added a really intriguing mystery to the whole narrative.”

“Wow, you suck Ben. You suck really hard.”

“Well, excuse me for sucking!”

“Let big Sis show you how it's done. The story is shit! It sucked. I hated it. Stupid punk! Never write again! Drink bleach and die!”

“...”

“Oh no, what is the matter Monsieur Critic? 俺様 の 栗竹枝 素晴らしい ですね”

“Do I really have to explain the concept of constructive criticism to you and is it even worth my time?”

“But think Ben, why be constructive when you can also be destructive?”

“I...don't even know how I am supposed to respond to this idiocy.”

“Look, I get it! You want something concrete right? I didn't care for Ben's constant whining and bitching.”

“You mean the one thing that makes him a compelling character?”

“He loves his Sister right? So he needs to just shut up and put his dick in it!”

“But, that conflict was the best part of the story! It really elevated the narrative from straight porn to something so much more.”

“Ben, sweetie. People are here to read porn. You think the perverts give a fuck about this? Just write sexy stuff, you turbonerd!”

“Alright. Let's say your primary goal is to just masturbate to this. In that case it still feels more satisfying when you actually care about the characters and their struggle, right?”

“Nope, read it from my lips, N O O N E G I V E S A F U C K.”

“Haa...lets just move on, where do you think the story is headed from here?”

“Hmm, we did choose the good option right? That means we should get a happy end.”

“So you think the two will realize that this relationship is doomed?”

“Oh, Ben you are so cute. Of course not! They will live together happily ever after and all that jazz.”

“Yeah, no. This will either have a bittersweet ending or end in tragedy.”

“Wanna bet? Loser has to have sex with the winner?”

“No.”

“Why are you so lame?”

“Look, it's even in the title “Idol Sister” is clearly a double entendre, alluding to the fact that the protagonist idolized his Sister to an unhealthy degree.”

“Nah Bro, it means his Sister is an idol.”

“Oh boy, this was a mess. I hope the author will accept my sincere apology for being subjected to this utter garbage.“

“Who cares, I had fun. Might need to convince Marcie that we get to do the follow up to this one. I want to see your miserable face when you find out I was right all along, hehehe.”

“Let's just conclude. Things should be back to normal by next time, so till then.”