IA Day 11 - Too late

The choice gets taken out of your hands. Tiff and Lara are texting Riley. They want to talk. The weekend is supposed to be about relaxation, but apparently they want to get back to business. It's not a bad thing, but you are a little disappointed.

Riley apologizes, but says that she has to meet with them.

"It is OK," you say. You understand. She's the team captain. It's not all about you. Riley kisses you, then goes to talk to Lara.

You text Angela, and she gets back to you right away. She agrees to meet.

Soon you're climbing into a taxi. You feel good. Everything is OK, and ever since you came to this country to come to this camp, you have wanted some good coffee.

You meet Angela at a nice café. She looks beautiful in her summery blouse with her hair up, and she's wearing her glasses today.

"I watched the game," she says as you both sip your coffee. "It was good. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you say. Nothing is wrong, exactly. There's just a lot. FUTA. Riley.

Angela presses and finally gets you to admit that you feel confused and guilty. You are really enjoying everything with Riley, but you aren't sure it's OK to be with a girl, or how your family will feel about it. You also feel guilty that you are spending all your time thinking about relationships when you should probably be focusing on soccer.

It's easy to voice all that to Angela because she speaks Swedish, so you don't have to mess with your clumsy English.

Angela tells you that's all normal. You argue that your relationship with Riley is not normal. It's physical, but strange and not clearly defined.

"Are you enjoying it?" Angela asks.

"Yes," you reply. That's an easy question to answer.

"Maybe instead of trying to understand the relationship that you feel like you have, you ask yourself what kind of relationship you want," Angela suggests.

That is a more difficult question to answer. "A normal one," you say, but when you say it you know it's not that simple. What is normal?

"What is abnormal about your relationship with Riley?" Angela asks. "You met. You were attracted. Things happened. You've grown closer. It all sounds normal to me."

When she puts it that way, it sounds normal to you too.

"What about you?" you ask Angela, who smiles.

"I knew you would ask," she says, looking out the window. "I'm like you, Ingrid. I wanted something simple."

But she's in a relationship with a much younger woman, the daughter of one of her colleagues. That's not simple. It's even stranger than what you are doing.

"So?" you press her.

"I have a powerful desire for my partner," Angela says finally. "I guess it is what people call chemistry. I've chosen to follow that and not to overthink it. It's a decision that I've made. I may not be a wise one, but life involves risk."