I object to being called a good girl.

"Mom, you've just called me a 'good girl'."

[Caught! Time for some gaslighting.]

"Did I? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"You actually me remember calling you a 'Good Girl'? I don't remember doing it. Are you absolutely sure that's what I said? That I couldn't have said something else, like Good Guy? Or Good Sir?"

"Uh... Yes? I'm almost certain you said 'Good Girl'." Now you're starting to question yourself. Are you absolutely certain that's what she said? It wasn't recorded, so it's not like you can rewind and check the transcript or anything.

"Because sometimes, you know, hearing can be tricky. Sometimes you hear what you want to hear, and not necessarily what was actually said."

"Wait, are you saying that I heard 'good girl' because that's what I *wanted* to hear?"

"Oh, sweetie, of course not! I know you're all man! I was just talking about psychology and how sometimes we hear what we desire to hear rather than what is actually said. Just as a point of psychology. Does that make sense?"

"Uh, sure?"

"And I also want you to know that we run a very accepting, and judgment-free household here. We want this to be a safe space for everyone in the family to be able to honestly express themselves. And so, it's perfectly OK with me, and Dave, if you would like us to call you a girl."

"But I don't!" You say, getting frustrated

"Oh Sweet Cheeks, I understand! I just wanted you to know that whatever you wanted, it would be okay with us, and Dave and your sisters too. We will all love you no matter what."

"But I don't want to be called a girl!" you whine, feeling your face flush.

"I understand that, young lady! Sorry! Young man! Okay, that time I did misspeak. But I need for *you* to understand that this is a safe space where you can express yourself, no matter what direction that takes. Do you?"

"Yes, I understand," you say, reluctantly. Somehow it feels like you're agreeing to something else. Like you're agreeing that it's okay to be called a girl? Is that what you've actually agreed to?

"Wonderful," Mom says, giving you another long and sensuous kiss. (Mmmmm, you sigh) "Now back to my original question, are you willing to be a good girl - sorry! now you've got me saying it! - Are you willing to be an eager and agreeable helpmate for Dave?"

Helpmate? Where did that come from?