I am Pagliacci

Dagwood's eyes were closed as he relaxed in the steam room. He needed this. He just wanted to relax and take his mind off of Blondie and Mr. Dithers. He only had a white terry cloth towel that covered everything from the waist down. He exhaled and tilted his head back against the one of the wooden upper benches. He dozed off...

He was back home. He was in the kitchen making one of his famous Dagwood sandwiches. Blondie was with him as she helped prepare the rest of the snacks. When they both returned to their living room, Cookie and Alexander were already seated on the two love seats beside the sofa. They both smiled at their parents as they beckoned them to come sit in front of the TV.

"C'mon, Dad! It's starting," said Alexander.

It was Super bowl Sunday, and one of the best family traditions of the Bumsteads. Blondie and Dagwood sat next to each other as Blondie passed their children the bowls of party snacks that they had prepared earlier. Dagwood kissed his beautiful wife on the lips before facing the TV and stuffing himself with his giant sub. The doorbell rang.

"Oh," Blondie said, "are we expecting company?"

"I don't think so, honey," Dagwood said in between bites from his sandwich. "Herb and Tootsie are out of town this weekend."

"I'll go get it," Blondie said.

Blondie stood up and answered the door. She gasped in surprise at what she saw.

"Oh, my gosh!" It was Dagwood's boss, Mr. Dithers. He was holding a bottle of champagne on one hand and a bouquet of flowers on the other. Blondie giggled as she saw the old man.

"Hello, Julius," she said excitedly, "It's so nice of you to join us!" Blondie gave Mr. Dithers a deep kiss on the lips. Dagwood frowned when he saw this. They locked lips for an uncomfortably long time before Blondie eventually let the boss in.

"Are those for me? Oh, my! You shouldn't have!," Blondie exclaimed. Blondie took the champagne bottle and the bouquet of flowers from Mr. Dithers and placed them on the coffee table. For some reason, Dagwood then saw his wife wearing only nothing but a white almost see-through bandeau and a matching white thong that barely covered her groin area. She had a terrific cameltoe while wearing this skimpy outfit. He had never seen his wife wear anything this revealing before. Mr. Dithers was uncharacteristically quiet as he eyed Dagwood's wife with malicious intent.

"Oh, hello, Mr. Dithers! Why don't you come and join us? The game just started," said Alexander. For some reason, both of their children were oblivious to what just happened. They barely even noticed that their mother inexplicably was wearing only scanty unmentionables. They didn't even notice that Mr. Dithers had a flogging erection growing in his pants.

"Oh, maybe later, kids. Your mom and I have some business to attend to," Mr. Dithers finally spoke as he broke the uncomfortable silence that lingered between Blondie and him.

"We'll be upstairs for a bit. It'll only take a moment," Blondie said to them as she led Mr. Dithers to the second floor while holding his hand. Mr. Dithers had a lecherous smirk as he stared at Blondie's bubble butt while ascending the stairway.

Dagwood was in shock. He gestured towards his children.

"Did you just see that?!" Dagwood was seething in anger.

"See what, Dad?," asked Cookie.

"Your mom and my boss just went upstairs! And you ask me if 'I see what?!'" Dagwood was hyperventilating in anger.

"Gee, chill out, Dad," Alexander said.

"Dad, just relax. It's family time," Cookie said.

Family time my butt, Dagwood thought to himself. This all didn't make sense. He tried to eat his sub sandwich again but lost his appetite. He couldn't focus on the game as well. He was only watching the clock on the lower right hand side of the screen until it ticked down. When the official's whistle blew, it was already halftime. Approximately more than half an hour had already passed and Blondie and Mr. Dithers were still upstairs.

He excused himself from his children and went upstairs as well. He climbed the flight of stairs and he heard moaning and grunting noises coming from their bedroom. His eyebrows furrowed into a frown even more as the moaning and grunting became louder and louder.

"Ohh! Ohhh! Ohh! Ohh!! Oh, Julius!" That was definitely Blondie's voice.

"Umph! Umph! Umph! Umph! Umph!" And that sounded like his boss. What in heavens are they doing in there? He heard loud pounding of wood against wood as he went closer and closer to the bedroom door. That's definitely not arts and crafts, Dagwood thought.

He carefully turned the knob and slowly opened the door. The sounds were even more obscene upon hearing them up close and unmuffled by the bedroom door. He was equally shocked by what he saw. Mr. Dithers was having sexual intercourse with his wife, Blondie! Blondie was propped on top of their oak dresser. Her arms and legs were locked around Mr. Dithers as he continuously pounded his penis inside of her. Both of them were stark naked and sweating.

"What in the world are both of you doing?!," he said interrupting them from their sex act.

"Oh, my gosh!," Blondie gasped as she tried to cover her intimates with her hands. Mr. Dithers turned around and slowly walked towards where Dagwood was. His huge, erect penis was a light shade of purple as it swung unceremoniously from side to side as the boss approached him. Mr. Dithers held onto the other side of the door as if trying to block Dagwood's view of his naked wife.

"What's it look like we're doing?," he said to Dagwood with a slight contempt in his voice. "We're busy and it's still going to take us a while. We'll be back down soon."

"Wha--?," Dagwood hadn't barely finished speaking when Mr. Dithers started to close the bedroom door.

"Now if you'll excuse us, we've still got a lot of work to do," Mr. Dithers said. He slammed the door shut on his face and locked it. Dagwood stared blankly at the door. He was paralyzed with shock and disbelief. He only came to when he heard the moaning and grunting noises again.

"Haaah! Ohhh! Ohhh! Oh, Julius! Haaah! Ohhh! Ohhhh! Oh, Julius!" Blondie screamed in what seemed like sexual ecstasy.

"Umph! Mmph! Umph! Umph! Umph! Mmph!" Mr. Dithers muffled grunting continued as the wood banging became faster and faster.

Dagwood tried to open the door again. The locked door wouldn't budge.

"Oh, Julius! Ohhh! Haah! Ohh! Ohh! Haah! Oh, Julius!" Blondie moaned even louder.

This must be a bad dream, Dagwood thought. He wanted to wake himself up from his nightmare. He pinched himself....

"Haaah! Haaah! Haaah! Oh, Julius! Haah! Haaah! Haaah! Oh, Julius!" He could still here Blondie's moans and sighs. He pinched himself again.

"Umph! Umph! Umph! Mmph! Umph! Umph! Umph! Mmph!" Mr. Dithers was still grunting hard. He wanted to stop them. He tried to open the door again but it was gone. He was back in the steam room.

"Oh, Julius! Ohhh! Haah! Ouiyaaah! Ohh! Ohh! Haah! Oh, Julius! Ouiyah!"

"Umph! Umph! Umph! Umph! Umph! Umph! Umph! Umph! "

On the other side of the steam room, Blondie and Mr. Dithers were having sex! He couldn't believe his eyes. They were both sweating and stark naked. Blondie was propped up on top of one of the wooden benches. Her arms and legs were wrapped around Mr. Dithers as he continuously pounded his penis inside her. He was clearly in the same room as them and they were banging each other away. This was not a dream. Then both of them looked towards his direction and smiled at him.

"Oh, you're awake," Mr. Dithers said. They still continued having sex while talking to him. Blondie continued moaning softly as she was lost in ecstasy.

"Umm, boss," Dagwood said sheepishly, what are you doing?"

Mr. Dithers moved his hips faster as he spoke. "I'm making love to my wife. What else do you think I'm doing?"

Blondie giggled softly in between her moans of pleasure.

"Haaah! Haaah! Oh, Julius! Haaah! Haah! Don't. Mind. Haaaah! Him. Haaah! He's. Ohh! Oh! Oh. Just being. Oh! Oh, Julius! Hesjustbeingsilly! Oh! Haaaah!"

"Silly?! Mmmph. Umph! He's stupid, umph, that's what he is! Umph! Umph! Can't figure out what two people making love...Umph!....look like!"

"Dagwood, has always been a bit dense! Ohhh! Ouuuuhhh! Haaah! Haaah! Oh, Julius!"

"Dense?! Umph! Umph! He's as dumb as an ox! Umph! Umph! And twice as stupid! Umph! Umph!"

Blondie laughed. This made Mr. Dithers move even faster. Blondie moaned even louder as she tilted her head back. Her breasts bounced back and forth to the motions of their sex. And then her legs gripped Mr. Dithers' body tighter as she came. Both of their moans and grunts bounced within the steam room's wooden walls. Mr. Dithers soon followed after as he let out a mighty bellow as he came inside Blondie. They hugged each other in exhaustion as they both tried to catch their breaths. And then Mr. Dithers leaned forward to give Blondie a passionate kiss.

Dagwood grimaced all throughout the ordeal. He had absolutely **** but to watch the sex act in its entirety. It would have aroused him seeing his ex-wife make love to the old boss but it felt different with him knowingly being there. Mr. Dithers plopped down on the steam room bench and sat close to Blondie. She towered over him but she still bent and leaned over to the side to rest her head on Mr. Dithers' shoulder. She was so gorgeous as moisture built up inside the room enhancing her skin's alluring glow. Her wonderful, bountiful breasts were covered in sweat droplets as they rose and fell with each breath she made. He in turn held onto and grasped the inner folds of Blondie's thighs as he caressed the skin back and forth towards her inguinal area. Mr. Dithers, huge penis lay limply along the bench as he spread his legs to give his cock and balls room. Seeing the penis up close, Dagwood noticed how grotesque it looked; veiny, wrinkled, hairy and slightly bent to the left. Even in its flaccid form, Mr. Dithers' penis reached slightly lower than his knees. His testicles were even larger seeing it in this distance. They were hairy, wrinkled and big -- about the size of a tangerine.

"So, where you able to watch that clip?," Mr. Dithers asked Dagwood.

"Yes," he said curtly.

"So what do you think?," Mr. Dithers said as Blondie looked to Dagwood awaiting his response.

"It's disturbing," he finally said.

"Disturbing? My boy, it's sexy! It's the new thing! Kids love it!" Mr. Dithers retorted as Blondie came up smiling and delicately kissed her husband's cheek as if in reassurance.

"You guys are in the adult film business!," Dagwood almost shouted. "You already have a child! What would he think when he grows up?!"

"It's porn, my boy! Porn! What do you think of this boat, eh? Blondie's looks alone bought us this here big boat!"

Dagwood couldn't believe his ears. It sounded like Mr. Dithers was pimping Blondie and her exceptional good looks in exchange for money.

"But, Dagwood, mah boy, you're right. I don't like all those other men pointing their cameras at my wife."

Dagwood almost sighed in relief. Did this mean they were retiring from the "porn" industry?

"Which is where you'll come in. Blondie and I are hiring you to be our very own cinematographer!"

Dagwood dropped his jaws in astonishment. Blondie just proudly beamed by Mr. Dithers' side as he continued speaking.

"Pretty soon, they're going to be asking my Blondie to do things that we'll both regret. We're gonna nip that in the bud by doing everything ourselves!"

"But, boss," Dagwood stammered, "what makes you think I'll agree to this? This is indecent! She's my ex-wife, for heaven's sake!"

"Oh, Dagwood, Dagwood," Blondie finally spoke to him after all this time, "are you feeling jealous for us?"

"N-no! O-of course not! What makes you say that?" Dagwood lied.

"It'll be fine, Dagwood," Blondie continued, "Julius and I will be making love like what we've always wanted to do! And you'll still be able to see me naked...and I know how you like seeing me naked, let's be honest."

Blondie was sure laying it on thick, Dagwood thought.

"And everybody will get paid!," Blondie happily exclaimed, "only this time it'll be in the privacy of our bedrooms and we'll be doing most of the work! All you'll have to do is point the camera at us and we'll be fine."

"Then it's settled!," Mr. Dithers exclaimed even before Dagwood could speak. "If we're going to do something we really like why not get some money off of it, eh, my boy?"

Dagwood **** a weak smile, "well, since you've put it that way...I guess it's gonna be alright." He couldn't believe what he just said.

"Don't you worry, Dagwood, mah boy! It's just a man making love to the woman he loves. Nothing wrong with that," Mr. Dithers said.

But, I love her still, he wanted to say. She was my wife and we were happy together until you came along, he thought to himself.

"And besides, it'll be good for you!," Mr. Dithers continued. "We'll get that 'ol nasty sting called jealousy out of your system yet! AND you'll get to see this lovely woman naked, just as Blondie said! Everybody wins!"

It felt like they could read him like an open book. But this was all true. Maybe, it would be good for him.

"And since we're still both naked," Mr. Dithers said to his beautiful wife, "let's say we do some more of our horizontal mambo!"

Blondie laughed again before giving each other a passionate kiss. "I thought you'd never ask!," Blondie happily said. They continued kissing until Blondie started to moan again, signaling for his husband to assume the position. Blondie carefully laid down on the bench as Mr. Dithers leaned forward to kiss and suck her breasts. She brought both of her hands behind her head as she spread her legs to accommodate her husband's huge girth. Mr. Dithers reached down and adjusted his semi-erect penis along Blondie's vagina. He rubbed its cockhead along her opening before injecting her again with her man meat. Blondie sighed deeply. Mr. Dithers then pressed his groin towards her as his pumping commenced...

Dagwood was back in his room after Blondie and Mr. Dithers finished their coitus. As he laid in bed, he pictured in his mind how Mr. Dithers made love to his ex-wife in the steam room. He remembered every detail: from Blondie's bodacious body, her moans of pleasure as she accepted every inch of him, to her willingness to be penetrated in every possible position they could do within the confines of the steam room. He also pictured Mr. Dithers fucking Blondie: from his hairy, lard ass, his feral grunts as he invaded her nether regions, to his willingness to be seen by someone while making love. He masturbated as he thought of all of these. When he came, spurts of semen ejected towards his pillows, his stomach, the ceiling and the walls. He passed out in exhaustion...

He was in his house again during Super bowl Sunday. He sat on the sofa as the kids alternated between their smartphones and the TV. The score was tied at nil. As the game started its second half, Blondie and Mr. Dithers came down from the bedroom.

They were naked and sweating. They both sat with each other beside Dagwood. They behaved like a married couple as they fondled each other and made out. Dagwood tried to hide his annoyance as Blondie and Mr. Dithers started to make love again right there on the sofa. Blondie laid down with her head on top of Dagwood's lap. Mr. Dithers' head was buried between Blondie's breasts as his hips crashed into hers. They fucked like bunnies. Alexander and Cookie looked back at them as they both smiled.

"Well, at least someone else gets to score," Alexander said half-jokingly.

"I know, right?," said Cookie. They smiled at each other as they watched the couple make love on the sofa. Then they went back into watching the scoreless game as Dagwood was left to witness his beautiful wife get plowed by his boss. When they finished, Mr. Dithers didn't pull out of Blondie. They lovingly held onto each other in the afterglow. Blondie lifted her head up and to face Dagwood.

"Dagwood, honey?," she asked him with his alluring sing-song voice.

"Yes, dear?," Dagwood replied.

"Be a dear and make Julius and I one of your famous sandwiches, will you please, dear?" Blondie smiled at Dagwood as Mr. Dithers looked towards him as well to give him a wink.

He reluctantly went to the kitchen as he obliged. As he made them the sandwich, he could clearly hear Blondie and Mr. Dithers have sex again. He tried to drown it out by focusing on the TV. It showed a car commercial. A beautiful bikini clad model was holding a racing flag as he waved the driver and its car around the racing track. As the commercial finished, he could here the final lyrics of the song on the car commercial interspersed with Blondie's sex moans.

"Aahhhh! Haaah! Ohhhh! Ohhhhh! Oh, Julius! Ohhhh!"

Mr Sandman, bring us, please, please, please

Mr Sandman, bring us a dream......

He woke up with a cold sweat. Dagwood masturbated again.