I Do

"Sorry, got stuff to do today, we can go shopping another day?" I tell Elise. With Scarlet at work she seems more bored than anything, especially weird considering all the shit with her parents. Retail therapy's a proven commodity, I suppose.

"Fine, but if I buy something hideous it's your fault!" She jokes, before we hang up.

I stand outside of the courthouse, this is... Quite possibly the dumbest thing I've ever done, but the more people I get on board, the less I feel like a psychopath. I've told Trish to meet me here, meanwhile I've got my happy helpers inside sorting out the administrative stuff... There's a lot of paperwork with big life decisions, almost like they're not meant to be taken lightly...

When have I ever followed the rules?

"So... Were you shoplifting, or did you kill someone? What's the sentence? Community service?" Trish's voice mocks me. I turn to see her finish her approach, her eyes glowing at the sight of me. "Or... Wait, are we protesting something? I didn't bring a sign, what's the cause? Toddlers? Alcoholics? Alcoholic Toddlers?"

I instinctively roll my eyes at her jokes. "You're hilarious." I tell her in my least enthusiastic voice. "Actually, we're here to resolve the issue with your parents."

Trish's face contorts into a scowl of confusion. "Unless there's a hypnotist here, I doubt it." She waves off my words. Damn it, I'm the smart one, maybe try listening to what I have to say first.

"Shut up." I order. "Your parents want the benefit of you marrying, if they get that, even if it's not the marriage they want, they'll be sorted." I explain. Trish nods along with my reasoning so far, but doesn't seem to get where I'm going with this. Fuck, you're gonna make me say it, aren't you? "We're... We're here to get married."

You know when someone says something, and you don't quite hear them so you ask them to repeat it, but then you realise what they said and end up interrupting them? Makes you feel like a fucking jackass. Somehow, I feel like that in total silence.

"That is literally the worst proposal I've ever heard." Trish states after a long pause.

"Look, by the time they want to argue we'll already be married, you'll have no value other than being their daughter... They'll have to base whether they want to be in your life on that, not what they can sell you for." I argue, even though she hasn't really said anything.

"Nope, still terrible. Try again." She responds. Is... Is this actually happening right now? Trish smiles and points to the ground. Bitch, I'm helping you! This isn't for my benefit... Fuck it, fine.

I look at the ground, at least it looks clean. Slowly, I lower myself to one knee, and look up at my girlfriend. "Trish, you are so fucking annoying." I begin. "And so much of the time I want to scream at you... But then I realise I never want to stop screaming... I don't want to lose you. I... I love you. Will you marry me?"

"Eh, six out of ten." She smiles. For fuck's sake, I should leave her to marry the damn doctor. "Yes." She replies. See, she won't even go along with it, dumb idea, fucking Scarlet giving me shitty ideas, the one time I... Wait, what? Her reply begins to process in my mind. Apparently my surprise is noticeable. "Yes, of course I'll marry you, you idiot, I'd never say no. I love you too."

I think it's really important to play this cool. I've got a reputation to maintain, I can't let on how my stomach is doing somersaults with joy, repress it. Be serious, this is all a part of the plan.

I leap to my feet as a squeal leaves my mouth, and pull her in for a kiss, wrapping my arms around her.

Nailed it.

"So... We're good to go?" A voice interrupts us from the doorway to the courthouse. Henry and Gabe are stood there, Henry's father works here, and Gabriel reckons he's a huge LGBT supporter, so I figured he'd help us get our paperwork sorted without the usual delays. Plus... We need witnesses.

Trish pulls away from me and looks at our friends. "Oh... Hey guys, fancy seeing you here!" She smirks, before looking back to me. "You... Didn't want to invite Scarlet or Elise?" She asks in a worried tone.

"You don't have your family here, it felt wrong having mine... Don't worry, we'll do something to celebrate it properly later." I explain. That's actually the honest truth... Plus, some part of me thinks if I put the idea of marriage in their head they'll want to get married today too. Fuck that, it's my day... I mean... It'd be inefficient. And they're all romantic they should have a proper wedding. or not, if they don't want, it's up to them. Just not today.

"And you needed Henry's connections?" Gabe adds, grinning at my explanation.

"Right, yeah, and that. We only get two witnesses. Not enough room." I concur. Trish snorts at my interpretation of the truth, before taking my hand and leading me into the building. So this is it.

This is my wedding day.

*

This dress is definitely... Something. I mean, it's very me, but probably the last thing people would expect the bride to wear... Or am I the groom? Are we both brides? Fuck it, doesn't matter, what matters is that I look smoking hot. Gabe had brought clothes for us to wear, lucky for me I know our sizes off by heart. My dress is a red tartan pattern, with a black ribbon around the waist, very gothic Lolita. I don't know if it's a stereotype, but my gay best friend definitely has a sense of style. Eh, I'm not complaining, he needs more hobbies.

I exit the changing room and make my way to the 'chapel' if it can be described as that. It's just a room with a couple of chairs in it and a lectern on the other side. Doesn't matter, could be a bin for all I care, it's perfect... For the plan, I mean. Yeah. I'd marry Trish in a bin if I had to... For the plan. Obviously. Gabe and Henry are sat with the officiary. It's a secular process so I wasn't expecting a priest, but if you told me she was Barbara from accounting I'd believe you. It's so understated, but for some reason that's reassuring, nothing to be worried about. Not that I was worried. It's all a plan.

"Looks like we're all here!" The woman announces, looking in my direction. Pretty sure we're missing a person, kind of an important one. I hear footsteps enter the room behind me, causing me to run around. Trish is wearing a long sleek dress in a dark green colour that contrasts against her oaken skin. Her hair's tied up into an elegant bun... She looks... I don't fucking know, they don't make words for things this gorgeous, okay? Doesn't matter. It's all for the plan.

She meets me at the lectern and the 'ceremony' begins, honestly, it's little more than a contract signing, but my heart is still beating out of my chest. It's your basic token words of commitment by the officiary, it barely registers in my head... Until she asks Trish if she wants to say her own vows... And she accepts. Hang on a minute, I didn't think this far ahead, how does she have vows?

"Rouge..." She starts, taking my hands in hers and staring into my eyes. "You're... Everything. Everything someone can be, you're it. You're funny and serious. You're strong and weak. You're pure evil and an utter saint. I can't define you, I don't think anyone can. If someone were to ask me what I love about you I wouldn't be able to tell them... Because it's just everything. You're just everything. Every day I learn something new about you, or laugh at something that reminds me of you, or I start talking to you when you're not even there because I can't comprehend you not being by my side. I love you. You're everything. You're my everything."

Did she... Just come up with that? Because... Because it's stupid, what a wimp, it's just a plan, doesn't matter. I can't believe my hay fever is making my eyes water, such bad timing. It makes it look like I'm crying, which I can't be, why would I be that happy just for a plan? That'd be crazy. Almost a crazy as how beautiful Trish looks right now. The official looks to me next. Shit, I've got nothing, what do I do? I can't just-

"Trish." My mouth says on its own, my voice cracking from... From hay fever. "If you'd asked me a year ago what I'd be doing right now? I'd have never said this in a million years. I was the queen of everything, and I used that to cut myself off from everyone. But then you came along. And you did what you do best. You did the impossible. Before I knew it you were the only person in my mind. The only one I wanted to stay with. The only one I could ever see my life with... And I know I didn't do everything perfectly... Or anything perfectly, actually. But it doesn't matter. When I'm with you, there's no mistakes, no isolation, no impossible. Everything wrong becomes right... You make it all... So perfect."

I'm done pretending. The tears flow from my eyes as I stare into Trish's eyes. I don't know if we were told to kiss the bride... But nothing on this planet would be able to stop us. When I manage to return my soul to my body we sign our names, as well as Henry's and an equally teary Gabe's as witnesses. We also take care of out name changes.

"So... I was thinking, can I take your name?" Trish asks me. "Trish Cray?" Somehow it just doesn't seem right, she's more than just an extension of me, we're two halves, one can't exist without the other.

"How about... Tricia and Rouge Cray-Patel?" I offer. The smile on the face of my girlfriend tells me this is the right answer. As we finalise the signatures my phone rings.

I've forgotten to check my phone all day. Shit. Texts from... Well, everyone. I answer the phone to Scarlet and organise to meet up at Jasper's. It's not exactly the dream honeymoon, but it'll work. We finally leave the building after a celebratory glass of champagne, a wedding gift from Henry, and begin our journey to my family's... Our family's home. All the nerves up to this point had me doubting if this was a good idea, but Trish's hand in mine draws my gaze to her.

The smile on the face of my wife tells me this is the right answer.