Humans Are Secretly Pokémon!

Little known fact, almost a state secret really: Humans are Pokémon.

Humans are the most bizarre spices of Pokémon in the world, but we're Pokémon: normal type to be specific...

We are the only kind of Pokémon that matures without going through metamorphic stages, and no one knows why that is. We also can't learn moves from Trainer Machines or Hyper Machines, but we're Pokémon, just like almost all other mobile species on the planet.

"But We Cant Be Caught In Pokéballs!"? Who designed the pokéballs, eh? Would YOU invent a trap without a security feature that it wouldn't trap YOU; or your family? That was the reason at first, but now it's also an international law that no one may create pokéballs which can catch humans, not that a few people haven't tried...

"But We Don't Know Any Moves!"? You Remember Team Rocket's Meowth? Haven't you ever wondered why the only move it knows is Fury Swipes? Learning to TALK takes up THREE move slots, Reading takes another, Math takes Two more, and using tools takes a whopping FIVE: and humans learn all of this before they are TEN. Humans actually have more move slots used by the time their adults than most pokémon ever know.

Here's the trick though: just because humans don't NORMALLY have any combat moves... Doesn't mean we CANT.

Do you want to know how we know we're Pokémon? With sufficient mental and physical conditioning, generally starting in early childhood, humans can learn a small number of Pokémon combat moves. Most of them aren't that great: we can learn Tackle, whoop-de-doo, but as we advance in the honing of body and mind we can master a small number of other moves. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to what we can develop if we put our minds to it though... As examples, humans are 'normal' type; but we can learn Lick, a Ghost move, but also Bite, which is Dark, yet still again Karate Chop, which is Fighting...

No one knows why humans can learn such diverse moves, or why they mostly suck in terms of battling, or why we mature from children to adults without going through the sudden stages of metamorphosis that other Pokémon do, but we're Pokémon. YOU happen to have had the childhood training at a dojo to master the fighting moves Karate Chop and Deflect Blow, and you make good use of them now!

As Old Scar Face is a tough opponent, more so because as a Flying-type it's strong against your Fighting move training, but you do the combo that Master Hoshi taught you.

First, you use Deflect Blow to turn aside its attempt to impale you on its beak with your right hand, then with your dominant left (you happen to be left-handed, which helped you win a practice fight or two at the dojo...) Karate Chop the back of its head driving its beak deep into the dirt. You blow your whistle in a different three notes and Mister Moon first string-shots its beak to the ground, then you both turn and RUN!

You Yank Mister Moon back into his Pokéball and then BOOK for home, the rest of the flock in hot pursuit as their leader screeches incoherently behind them.