Hotdog Lunchtime

This day is just the worst. The worst in documented recorded history. No doubt about that. I absolutely declare with utmost confidence that today is the worst day in all of existence.

If I look to my right, one could surmise that everything s normal. With how Matt was busy chowing down on his second hotdog of the period. He always made sure to get a second dog every time they were available in the cafeteria since, according to him, they were ‘the best hotdogs in the entire area’. Not sure that cafeteria hotdogs were that good, but I digress.

It’s only when I look over my shoulder to the left that one could begin to question my sanity. Sitting on the dirty linoleum floor, butt naked as the day she was born, was my former friend Erika. She was panting slightly, looking as though she was expecting another tater tot to fall on the floor. Which happened with the student next to her and she made sure to lick the disgusting floor when it was over.

I tried to distract myself by looking forward and eating my own hotdog. A bit of onions and relish fell from my open mouth and landed on the fluffy tits that burst forth from my V-neck blouse. Oh right, I had the torso of my sister before growing up a few cup sizes during breakfast covered by wooly fur because I’m a sheep boy. Or a futa sheep on account of my tits.

…

…

I’ve lived to long in this world.

This fucking sucks. Thanks to this ring, in the span of half a day, my life is completely out of control. Why me. Did I step on a fairy on my walk through the park? Did I kick a leprechaun by accident? Did some old, hag put a curse on me while I was going through Walgreens? What did I do to warrant such cr-

“Hey, Asshat.” Mark pulled me from my thoughts just as I was spiraling into self-destruction. Oh… yeah… my name is Asshat. That’s great. Thanks to him.

“Seriously man, what is wrong with you today. You’ve been moody near the lockers, asking me weird things in class, and you’ve barely said a word the entire school day. I’m starting to worry.” I could just tell him about the ring, but he would either not believe me or it would result in something like him turning into a frog… Maybe I should try talking with him.

“It’s just… I just realized how messed up my life is. I don’t know. I just wish to put things back to normal.” I said with barely any strength to look him in the eye.

“I get it man, we’re no longer kids. We’re growing up and realizing everything is shit when what we want to be is what we can no longer… be.” This got me to look up at him as he continued. “I’m not good at this sort of thing but… I guess just know that no matter what you have friends and family no matter what.” He gave a cocky smile at that which made me chuckle.

“Heh, thanks Matt.” I said with slight hope. It might have not been a lot, but it was enough to make me realize that I still had everyone. I was still me… just looking different. Can’t say the same for Erika who was eating tater tots off the floor, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

I was about to continue eating my lunch when an alarm coming from Matt. He took out his phone to read the alert and standing up from our lunch table.

“Shit! We’re gonna be late!” He screamed as he grabbed his backpack from off the floor.

“For what?”

“You’re weddings about to begin!” He said as the purple glow of the ring came and went.

It was at this moment…

That I realized…

We both had originally signed up to help the school’s prom construction in the gymnasium.

…

And now I’m getting married.