Hook, line and sinker...

As you step inside and escort Doe up to the bar, you are surprised to see that your father has gone above and beyond in getting help. Sheriff MacMurry and all his deputies are there, as well as two or three deputies from the next town over. All the cops are strapped, but are in plain clothes and cowboy hats. Your high school buddy Tommy Lang is guarding the door, dressed in his usual bouncer attire, but clipped to his belt is a badge and gun. He come’s over to you and Doe.

“John, how the fuck are ya?” he asks. You hop off your bar stool and shake his hand. Although you aren’t a small man, Tommy picks you up in a bear hug and almost smothers you.

“I’m alright Tommy, but I can’t breathe!” You gasp. He puts you down and dusts you off.

“You haven’t changed a bit.” You say to him, pointing to an old newspaper on the wall. The front page picture is of him doing the exact same thing to you after you threw the winning touchdown in the state football championship in high school.

“Alright ladies, I hate to break up the tea party but Hank is coming and he ain’t alone. Looks like he’s got two or three goons with him.” Your father says. “Places everybody.”

Tommy walks to his spot at the door. Your father goes over to some of the deputies like he’s taking their order. Janice, a long-friend and Tommy’s wife, puts two beers on the bar and tells Doe to pretend to be drinking.

Hank steps into the bar with his buddies. Two of them have bats, Hank has a crowbar, and the other has a length of chain. Everyone ignores him. This just pisses him off, and makes him more intent on getting what he came for.

“Welcome to my bar boys, grab any table you want, and either myself or one of my waitresses will be over to help you shortly.” Your father says.

“I AIN’T HERE FOR A DRINK YOU OLD FUCK, I WANT MY WIFE!” Hank shouts as he slams the crowbar through a table. Glass flies everywhere. Doe has a panicked look on her face as he points a finger at you and continues: “YOU, AT THE BAR, STEP AWAY FROM MY WOMAN NOW, AND GO RUB IT UP AGAINST SOME OTHER HONEY. SHE’S MINE!!!”

“That ain’t gonna happen Hank!” Your father shouts as from out of nowhere, he pulls a shotgun and levels it at Hank. On his cue, Tommy comes up behind Hank’s buddies and takes two of them in a headlock. The guy with the chain tries to break them free, but Sheriff MacMurry slams a chair over his back before he gets a shot in. All the deputies draw their guns. Hank is left there by himself.

“Drop the rod NOW!” Your father tells him. “Sheriff, he’s all yours!”

“Thanks Charlie!!! Always loved putting a piece of shit behind bars. We’re gonna pair you up with Bubba in the slammer boy. He’s gonna show you a ten-inch reason why whiteboys shouldn’t hit their women.” The sheriff tells him.

“Hang on a minute sheriff.” You speak up. “I’ve got a better idea.”

“John what are you doing?” Doe asks you.

“Let’s see how hubby here likes trying to take a swing at someone who swings back! If he’s still standing in ten minutes, he walks out that door. If not, he goes to jail. But either way he leaves Doe alone!” You exclaim.

“Alright boys, keep them back.” Your father says. The two bartenders take Doe out of the room.

Hank steps forward. You move in to meet him. He throws a quick left that you easily dodge. However, his right connects with your cheek. It stings but you are not swayed. A punch to his stomach sends him reeling, and one to his jaw knocks a couple of his teeth out. You take a third swing at him, but miss. He gives you a boot to your gut, which winds you for a second. You quickly recover. Three jabs to the cheek send Hank sprawling into a table. He lands on the floor, but on his way up, he grabs a bottle and breaks the bottom of it. He takes a sweep at you with it but misses. You grab his arm and scoop him up onto your shoulders. He drops the bottle as you drop him through a table. He gets up staggering towards you. You mistake this as a sign that he is beaten. You walk in to give him one more shot, but he blocks it. He gives a shot right to the mouth. It doesn’t knock out any teeth, but it does split your lip pretty good. Hank thinks he’s got you when you slam your head into his nose three times. He lets go of you and drops to the floor, clutching his broken nose.

“All right boys, I think he’s done.” You say. Two of the deputies pick him up and are about to cuff him, when he pushes them aside and grabs one of their flashlights. You duck out of the way as he tries to cleave your skull. You turn before he does, and surprise Hank with a right hook that knocks him out cold. When he comes to, he is cuffed and stood up as Sheriff MacMurry reads him his rights.

“Hold up there sheriff.” Your father says as he takes Hank’s wallet out and pulls out all of his cash. “This S.O.B owes me for two tables, a chair, cleaning supplies and a shitload of new glasses.”

“Thath’s my money” Hank says with his new lisp.

“No, now it’s my money. Get him outta here boys. And make sure he stay’s outta here for a long time.” Your father finishes. “You alright boy?”

“Hell yeah, get me a beer.” You say. “Where’s Doe?”

“I’m right here.” Doe says as she steps out from the back of the bar. “OH MY GOD!!!” She gasps when she sees your condition.