Hiyoko, if Mahiru doesn't stop you.

Your morning classes are over, and it's lunch time. At least the food options here at Hope's Peak are pretty good. Still, it's hard to swallow that, despite the many high-tech gadgets at your fingertips, you're still eating lunch alone. Seriously! All you have to do was pick some girl, shove a screen in front of her face, and make your own best friend, girlfriend, or lover! Why is this turning out to be so hard?!

Well, if you were gung-ho enough to just do that, you wouldn't be the type eating lunch by yourself in the first place. While the people around you enjoy conversation with the person sitting across from them, you're listening to your favorite anime openings on your headphones, trying to put yourself and any of your classmates in the place of the characters in the romance scenes you remembered.

... Just as you're beginning to space out a little too hard and get drooly, something flies into your mouth, right between your upper and lower teeth. You're nearly **** on a projectile of mashed potatoes, feeling your life flash before your eyes while you fumble for your water.

Through teary eyes and thick lenses, you spy your assailant. It's no surprise: the one who nearly ended your life is the same one who's been making your life a living hell for the past few days. Isn't this supposed to be upper education? Why are you being bullied like you're in middle school?! For whatever reason, the young adult across from you doesn't seem to have left childish things behind her. Hiyoko Saionji, the Ultimate Dancer, was a classic beauty, with glamorous blonde hair in an enormous crescent moon of a ponytail, big orange eyes, fair skin, and, most strikingly, a traditional kimono she evidently wore even during classes. She was developed, but with the lithe figure one would expect of a practiced dancer. For a moment, when you'd first laid eyes on her, you daydreamed about getting your hands on her.

Well, it turned out this girl didn't have a mean streak so much as a mean canvas. You must have looked at her the wrong way back then, because ever since then, she's done nothing but torment you constantly. You almost died **** just now, and here she is, yucking it up. When she finally stops laughing, she's risen to standing, holding her tray. It's as if she can't bear to let you have the idea she'd sit down across from you for any reason other than to kill you with a prank. She turns her spiteful eyes down on you and giggles. "I'm sorry, Tomomo! You looked like you were having such a hard time eating, I thought you forgot how! Like maybe your brain fell out of that fat head of yours and into the trash. I was just trying to help remind you."

You take off your headphones and remind your tormentor that your name is Tomo, for the umpteenth time. You want to ignore her, but you already tried that yesterday. It didn't change much. You know you'll regret it, but you ask anyway: why is she always bothering you? Isn't there another student she can **** with mashed potatoes?

"Hmm..." Hiyoko considers your question with mock pensiveness, before returning a smile halfway between a sunny, angelic grin and a mean-spirited smirk. "Weeell, I've always enjoyed playing with things so small and insignificant that nobody cares about them. But since Gonta goes to this school and that big freak won't let me pick on Mr. Ants anymore, it's got to be you. After all, what's more small and insignificant than a porky otaku crybaby loser who doesn't even have any real talent? If I didn't spend time playing with you, you'd be all alone... That'd be just too sad!" Hiyoko laughs by herself for a while longer, either missing or ignoring the miserable vibes you're sending her way. Finally, probably having gotten tired of you, she shrugs and turns her back on you. "Anyway, I know how important food is to you, Tomomo. I wouldn't want to come between you and it. Have a good lunch, and don't worry about paying me back for the potatoes...! Hehehe!!"

... You're hardly hungry after your near-**** experience and the repeated teasing about your weight. Your mind isn't much on lunch any more, but it's big on paying Hiyoko back. An idea has started to form in your mind. Don't you have the tools at your disposal to solve this problem yourself? As you begin to consider how you might use your talent for ****, to your surprise, you receive another visitor across from you... But, as you think about it, you aren't surprised who it is.

Mahiru Koizumi, the Ultimate Photographer, has set her tray across from you. She isn't flinging potatoes into your mouth; rather, her freckled face is set in a concerned and sympathetic smile. The redhead isn't exactly someone you could call a friend yet, and you don't think she'd be sitting across from you just to enjoy a conversation with you. That doesn't mean you don't enjoy her company, though. Compared to Hiyoko, she's a breath of fresh air. Although she's known by some as a hardass and a stickler, especially to men, she treats a nerdy loner like you nicely enough. She isn't a knockout like some other students in your class, but she's certainly attractive in a girl-next-door type of way. Since she's been kind, you haven't heavily considered the possibility of trying your shady machines on her.

Nonetheless, you've gotten tired of the song and dance you know is coming next. You almost want to try and predict the words Mahiru's going to say before they leave her mouth. "I know she acts like a jerk to you sometimes, but really, Hiyoko's a nice girl! She just has a hard time figuring out how to make friends with people, and she expresses herself in some strange ways. She's very strong-willed, and-"

You nod along with Mahiru blankly, fighting the urge to put your headphones back on and listen to that instead. The first time Mahiru had said this you'd actually bought it, trying to reframe Hiyoko as a cute tsundere character straight out of anime. But after a few back to back days of harsh treatment, filled with notably more personal and cutting insults than you thought anime protagonists ordinarily suffered, you've decided differently. You don't know why Mahiru always goes to bat for Hiyoko, but the dynamic has been wearing on your nerves.

You're tempted to finally put your foot down, to tell Mahiru she could tell her buddy to either get a life or stay the heck away from you, but there's no point. You've already decided to do something about Hiyoko yourself. You have a pretty good idea of how to make her more friendly...

Mahiru seems to realize you haven't been paying attention. She leans across the table towards you slightly. "I can see you're troubled. I guess I can't blame you, when I look at it your way. I'll talk to Hiyoko for you, okay? You'll see! Soon enough, the three of us'll be great friends, and all three of us'll be eating lunch together. Talk to you later, Tomo!"

Ironically, immediately after saying you'd have someone to eat lunch with, Mahiru takes her tray and hurries off the way Hiyoko went. You watch her skirt flutter as she leaves, letting out a sigh. She's gone before you can tell her you already have it under control...

Mahiru seems like a nice girl, though. You wonder if, after Hiyoko's taken care of, there'll be an opening for Mahiru's new best friend... Wait! That makes it sound like you're going to kill Hiyoko. While you kind of want to, that isn't what you have planned at all.